What We Reward, We Repeat.

There’s a lot said about what we don’t tolerate in schools, whether it is about boundaries, behaviour, and/or holding the line. And sure, there’s merit in setting clear expectations. But culture isn’t only built by what we challenge. It’s equally shaped (if not more so) by what we reward, promote, and quietly protect.

Whether we realise it or not, our schools are full of rituals and responses that communicate what we value. A nod of recognition in a staff meeting, the choice of which achievements make the newsletter, the casual language we use in the corridor, they all send signals. Some loud, some subtle. But all shaping our culture.

So the question is worth asking: are we intentional about what we’re reinforcing?

Often, the most visible forms of celebration in schools sit comfortably within the traditional - academic excellence, sporting wins, attendance, leadership roles. They have their place. But if we’re not careful, these become the sole indicators of what matters. And that’s a narrow window through which to define success or to feel seen.

Truthfully, the things that most powerfully shape belonging don’t always come with a badge or certificate. The student who helps a peer without being asked. The quiet persistence of a colleague who keeps checking in with a disengaged child. The parent who turns up to support an event, not for recognition, but because they care.

These are the moments that stitch connection into the fabric of a school community. And if we want more of them, we need to treat them as the meaningful, culture-shaping actions they are. That means noticing them. Naming them. Celebrating them. And not in a tokenistic way but through genuine recognition that reflects our values.

If we say relationships matter, then we need to show they matter. Not just on Harmony Day or during Wellbeing Week but consistently, quietly, and purposefully. Because what gets recognised gets repeated.

This applies just as much to staff culture as it does to students.

What do we highlight in our staffrooms? Who gets thanked, and for what? Are we just rewarding compliance and performance or are we celebrating contribution, curiosity, care?

And in leadership, this becomes even more critical. Our attention (what we notice and affirm) sets the tone. If we’re only affirming what’s efficient, measurable or high-impact in a traditional sense, we risk sidelining the very things that sustain people: the relationships, the small wins, the acts of integrity that happen when no-one’s watching.

A strong school culture doesn’t arrive by accident. It’s built through thousands of micro-moments of acknowledgement, appreciation, and alignment. It’s shaped by who we listen to. What we elevate. And where we direct our attention.

So as we move through this term, maybe it is worth taking a moment to look around and ask: what are we rewarding here? What are we making visible, and what’s slipping under the radar? And are the things we’re celebrating, however informally, aligned with the kind of culture we say we want?

Because in the end, culture isn’t just about policies and programs. It’s about patterns. And what we reward, we repeat.

As we finish this issue, here is a final thought from my book The Connection Curriculum:

"Schools must increase the scope and scale of how they recognise and celebrate individual achievements. Implementing recognition programs that acknowledge students not only for academic accomplishments but also for their unique contributions, talents and efforts to the wider community, builds a sense of purpose and also increases the growth of connective tissue within the school."

Thanks for reading.

Big news!!

My new book The Connection Conundrum: Empowering Teachers to Lead a Culture of Sustainable Connection is available for pre-order in Aus/NZ now from Amba Press here: https://ambapress.com.au/collections/view-all/products/the-connection-conundrum

Written for teachers unwilling to wait for permission to lead change, this follow-up to The Connection Curriculum offers the tools to transform disconnected classrooms into thriving learning communities. I'm empowering educators to lead from where they are, providing actionable strategies to build relationships, foster belonging, and sustain meaningful connection, even when formal leadership hesitates.

Take a look at the link above for a bit more and to pre-order now!

International orders will be available very soon!

Issues of this newsletter are published fortnightly/biweekly on Sunday mornings at 8am (GMT+11).

You can purchase my first book 'The Connection Curriculum: Igniting Positive Change in Schools Through Sustainable Connection' from your favourite online retailer now or use one of the links below:

📘 Amba Press: https://ambapress.com.au/collections/view-all/products/the-connection-curriculum

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📗 From me: www.mattpitman.com.au