Revising Letters

Revising Letters

• 1.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow Openings The opening sentence/s for letters should be interesting enough to catch the reader’s attention. “ Acknowledging your letter of the 12 th of July in the year…” “ This is to answer to your letter of June 1 in regard to…” rubber stamps
• 2.
  I have justthe information you asked for in your letter … Your letter was a pleasant surprise. I have good news for you. You’ll be happy to know… It was good of you to reply to my [date] letter so promptly. Thank you for that very informative letter. Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow You can easily handle the problem given us in your letter of [date] if you will…
• 3.
  I’m not surprisedyou have been wondering what happened to your (date) order. If I were in you’re shoes, I’d have been wondering too. Your last letter was certainly considerate. You are quite right when you say that two months is too long to have to wait for your ______. Yes, you certainly should have been given a discount on your payment of (date). I think you have something in that idea of yours. Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow
• 4.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow
• 5.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow
• 6.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow Get rid of antiquated, whiskered expressions when you write a letter. agreeable to your request acknowledge receipt of according to our records allow me to as a matter of fact assuring you of our prompt attention as per your order as the case may be at an early date in due course at this writing at your earliest convenience attached find attached hereto enclosed herewith avail yourself of this opportunity awaiting your further orders beg to state beg to advise at the present writing
• 7.
  beg to informtake pleasure the under signed the writer We take pleasure in sending you herewith We wish to call your attention to the fact We wish to inform you that We wish to notify you that We wish to advise you We wish to say Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow desire to state date of July 1 deem it advisable due to the fact that gone forward has come to hand I remain, I am in lieu of in the amount of beg to acknowledge
• 8.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow Closings Should leave good, lasting impressions about the writer. Avoid: meaningless and dangling endings like:  “ Enclosed herewith is the information you want. I remain…”
• 9.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow Have I given you all the information you wanted? We look forward to receiving your order. You may count on it being completed promptly. Our sincere thanks for your cooperation. You may be sure that we want to do anything we can to help you. The material will be sent you not later than [date or day] of next week.
• 10.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow As we’re sure you understand what we are up against, we know you will be patient with us. We like doing business with you, and you may count on our fullest cooperation. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to straighten out this matter. Again, thanks for calling on us. Won’t you give us the opportunity to serve you in some other way?
• 11.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow I will get in touch with you next [day or date]. We are sure you will bear with us, knowing that we will do our best for you. I am looking forward with real pleasure to meeting you personally next [day or date]. We hope you will find this report of real value in updating your files. If you wish for further information, please let us know.
• 12.
  Letter Writing Tips from Relax when you write a letter by H.Y. Barrow We certainly sorry this happened. In the future you may be sure that we will do everything within our power to see that things are just as you want them. You may count on our cooperation, 100%. I’ve sure enjoyed talking / corresponding with you.
• 13.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: Good day! I am writing you to ask for a slot in your class. Seeing that your class is the only feasible one I can take, would it be possible for you to accept another student? Better: Good day! Would it be possible for you to accept another student in your English Three class? Business Communication (EnglTri) S2 is the only feasible subject I can take this trimester, and I hope you could allow me a slot.
• 14.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: Good day! I am ______, a student of DLSC. EnglishTri is a required subject for freshmen, unfortunately EnglishTri/S2 is already full and the other sections of this given course has a conflict with my other subjects. I would like to ask for you permission so that I may join your section. Better: Good day! As you might already know, EnglishTri is a required subject for 1 st year students like me. Unfortunately, your Section S2 class is already full and the other sections offered do not fit into my other subjects’ schedules.
• 15.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: This letter requests your admittance to accept me in your English class. Though your section is currently full, I hope that technicality will deny the fact that I am not in that particular class. I am glad to tell you that my college studies are going quite swell. We don’t want that to happen, don’t we?
• 16.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: I would like to make a request from you to add me to your class in English 3 (Business Communication). This is very important to me because it is a prerequisite subject and it does not conflict my other classes. I am also a dean’s lister here in DLS-C. I hope that you would permit me to attend your class. Better: Please allow me to join your English Three, Section 2 class. Business Communication is a very important subject for me as it is a prerequisite to many other subjects I would need to finish my course. In addition, taking this English Three on time will help me a lot in maintaining my status as a dean’s lister. I hope that you would understand my situation and permit me to attend your class.
• 17.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: I have good news for you. You’ll be happy to know that. I, _________, a sophomore, with pleasing personalities would like to be in your class. Having difficulty in looking for the right class to graduate at the right time. I could save me money. Better: I would really like to join your English Three, section 1 class. Aside from the fact that the course would be quite useful to me in the future, I am also having a difficult time enlisting in other subjects for this trimester. If you would allow me to attend your class, there would be a greater chance for me to graduate on time and, consequently, save myself from additional financial expenses. I would be truly grateful.
• 18.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: Our director in the IT & Computing department, Mrs. Magpantay, told me to take the other section of ENGLTRI (English Three) due to a conflict with an elective that has to be taken up this term. I just got word form the registrar’s office that the other section of ENGLTRI is already full. And they said that the only way to be enlisted in the other section of ENGLTRI is to write a formal letter of request to the professor. Through the approval of the request, transferring to the other section will be a big help to maintain my regularness of being a BSCS student. Better: I was advised to enlist in your ENGLTRI, section S2 class for this trimester, but the registrar’s office just recently informed me that all the slots in your section have been filled. This posts a big problem for me since the other section for ENGLTRI is in conflict with my schedule for a required elective. In this light I humbly ask you to enlist me in your S1 class. This will help me a lot to maintain my regular status as a BSCS student.
• 19.
  Revising Letters (PartI) Original Message: English Three is one of my major subjects in my course and it is a must that I take this subject in order for me to graduate in time. If I don’t take this subject now the next time English Three would be offered is next term (2006). I am looking forward to your reply. Thank you for your expected cooperation. Better: English Three is one of my major subjects and it is very important for me to take it this trimester. If I wait until the next time they offer English Three again (which might be in 2006!), I might not be able to graduate on time. This makes me extremely worried. I hope that you would understand my situation and allow me to enlist in your class. Your favorable response will be much appreciated.