I didn’t expect to be blindsided by my own trauma today

Content note: This post discusses sexual trauma and its emotional impact. Please read with care and look after yourself. Support details are included in the first comment if you need them.

This afternoon, something happened that completely caught me off guard.

My wife had agreed to take part in the Crime Survey for England and Wales. The interviewer was polite and professional - no issue there. But I wasn’t prepared for what came next.

Prior to the survey reaching the section on things like drug use and sexual assault, the tablet was handed to me. Without warning, I was faced with questions asking whether anyone had exposed themselves to me, touched me against my will, or forced me into sexual acts...

Those words took me straight back to something that happened to me shortly after my sixteenth birthday. Something I’ve spent years learning to live with - and contributed to my mental health breakdown prior to me leaving my previous role and founding Accessible Me Ltd .

Being asked to relive it - while someone sat across from me watching me answer - was shattering. After the interviewer left, I collapsed at the bottom of my stairs in tears. My two-year-old son heard me crying and came to comfort me, not understanding why his dad was so broken.

I share this not for sympathy, but because something needs to change. These surveys are important. They help shape policy, prevent harm, and give survivors a voice. But the way they are designed and delivered can unintentionally retraumatise people.

We need trauma-informed design; clear content warnings, the right to complete surveys privately, interviewer training on how to recognise distress, and proper after-care signposting.

People, like me, shouldn’t have to choose between helping important research and protecting our mental health. If we want honest data, we must build safety and compassion into the process itself.

It’s time our systems learned to do no harm.