Writing Feedback That Is Direct and Honest

Wednesday writing tip: Good feedback is direct, clear and kind. I’m Swedish, we're known to be blunt. But early in my career, I learned the difference between directness and cruelty. Feedback without empathy is cruelty. As an intern at a major newspaper, I worked with an editor who was young, rising fast—and a total asshole. My first week, I turned in a story he hated. The red ink didn’t bother me. What did? He yelled in my face, loud enough to silence the newsroom. I wanted to die on the spot. Minutes later, his boss—who’d actually hired me—pulled me aside. Calm, clear and kind, she walked me through her edits. I learned more from that one conversation than anything else in that newsroom. It’s been over 20 years, and I still remember him as the meanest editor I’ve ever worked with. If you're giving feedback to someone new to writing, journalism or marketing, remember: You’re not just fixing copy. You’re shaping someone’s confidence, career and voice. Great feedback does three things: •Focuses on the work, not the writer •Respects the writer’s intention, even if they’ve missed the mark •Offers clear suggestions, not vague opinions And don’t ever lose your temper just because you’re working with a novice. That’s not editing. That’s insecurity in a louder outfit. Don’t be the person remembered decades later as talented but completely overshadowed by their assholery. (Photo: Me at vegan eatery Every Kind Moment in Bangkok's Watthana District.) #WritingTips #Editing #Storytelling #Writing #ContentStrategy #Ghostwriting

The kindest managers are often the most direct ones. It's taken me years personally to realize this, but now I can't unsee the connection. (BTW when I mean direct, I don't mean rude or cruel -- I mean just saying the thing for what it is.) About a decade ago, after months of dropping gentle hints to a team member about errors, I finally had a direct conversation. Their response: "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" That's when it hit me: My "niceness" wasn't kindness. It was self-protection disguised as consideration. In trying to avoid discomfort, I'd actually been delaying their growth. Here are three hard truths about feedback I wish I'd learned earlier: 1️⃣ Being direct IS being kind. WEAK: "The report was a bit delayed. No big deal, but whenever you can try to be more mindful of timelines..." STRONG: "I need you to submit reports by their deadlines. The last three were late. What support do you need to meet Friday's deadline?" Ambiguity creates anxiety. Clarity provides a path forward. 2️⃣ Your team WANTS to know. If you hired a personal trainer for your workouts who never corrected your form, would we say their being a good personal trainer? Likely not. Yet, as leaders, why do we hold ourselves to a lower standard? Research shows 72% of people believe their performance would improve with more corrective feedback, not less. 3️⃣ Perfect feedback isn't possible—or necessary. A colleague once wrote critical feedback on a Post-it note, psyched himself up for the conversation... and then realized afterward he never actually said the thing written on the note. Many of us have been there, betrayed by our own niceness. Ask yourself: "Who am I really protecting with my silence? The team member or my own comfort?" The next time you catch yourself rewriting that feedback email or rehearsing a conversation that never happens, remember: The truly kind thing is to say the thing — imperfectly now rather than perfectly never. Say the thing, and remember it's likely the kindest thing you can do. #feedback

 5 Uncomfortable Truths About Giving "Performance Feedback" (that no one tells you) After 15 years of leading teams and coaching executives, I've learned that giving meaningful feedback isn't about following a template or checking a box. Here are the hard truths I wish someone had told me earlier: 1.) Your feedback isn't about making yourself comfortable ↳That knot in your stomach before a tough conversation? It's a sign that you're about to say something that matters. I once delayed giving critical feedback to a high performer for weeks because I feared damaging our relationship. When I finally did, their response? "I wish you'd told me sooner." 2.) The "feedback sandwich" insults your employees' intelligence. ↳They see right through it, and it diminishes your message. Trust them with direct communication. Last month, a client told me they'd spent years decoding what their previous manager "really meant" beneath the compliment buffer. 3.) "Great job!" isn't feedback – it's a pat on the back ↳ Real feedback answers: "Great at what? Why did it matter? What specific impact did it have?" The difference transforms generic praise into a roadmap for repeatable success. 4.) The most crucial feedback often comes from your discomfort. ↳ When you think, "Maybe I'm overreacting" or "Perhaps it's not my place," that's often precisely what needs to be addressed. Those moments of hesitation often mask the most valuable insights. Be professional and tactful, but seize an opportunity and the signs you receive. 5.) Timing beats process every time. ↳ The best feedback system in the world can't match the power of addressing something at the moment. Waiting for quarterly reviews to discuss crucial performance issues is like waiting for New Year's to start eating healthy – it makes sense on paper but fails in practice. THE BOTTOM LINE: Meaningful feedback isn't about being fake, too nice or following a script. It's about being transparent, specific, and genuine – even when (especially when) it's uncomfortable. Vague feedback is worse than no feedback at all. If your message could apply to anyone, it probably helps no one. Make it direct, make it specific, make it count. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Follow Joshua Miller ➖ Like what you read but would like more? ☎ Book Your Coaching Discovery Session Today: https://lnkd.in/eKi5cCce #joshuamiller #executivecoaching #coaching #leadership #management #performancemanagement #culture #professionaldevelopment

Your brain can't process praise and criticism simultaneously. That's why traditional feedback methods are harmful. But there's ONE discovery that creates growth, not resistance: Direct. Then Connect. Neuroscience shows our brains process praise and criticism through completely different neural pathways. That's why the "feedback sandwich" fails so spectacularly. When we buffer criticism with praise... The brain cannot process these mixed signals effectively. People see through it anyway. Studies show 74% of professionals detect sandwich feedback within seconds. Having directly managed 300+ people and coached over 100 founders on leadership and culture, I’ve seen the real impact of feedback. Here’s what works... Two simple steps: 1. DIRECT: First, get permission and deliver unfiltered feedback. "May I share some observations about your presentation?" Then state exactly what needs improvement. This activates voluntary participation, and increases receptivity greatly. 2. CONNECT: Then, separately reaffirm their value "Your contributions remain vital to our success." The key? Complete separation between these steps. Direct feedback gives a clean signal about what needs to change. Connection maintains psychological safety. They know their status isn't threatened. Getting permission isn’t a minor detail - it’s crucial. It fosters respect and trust before you give tough feedback. Setting the stage for it to land well. The neuroscience behind this is clear: A Gallup study shows regular feedback mechanisms result in 14.9% increase in employee engagement and a 21% increase in profitability. Companies implementing this see remarkable results: • Cisco saw 54% faster resolution of team conflicts • Adobe reported 30% reduction in employee turnover • Pixar found 22% higher willingness to challenge assumptions • Microsoft under Nadella accelerated deployment cycles by 31% The traditional sandwich approach can feel safer, but it creates distrust. Direct Then Connect can feel scarier, but it builds psychological safety. Humans are wired to prioritize belonging above almost everything. When feedback threatens our status, our brains go into protection mode. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. Implementing this approach requires courage. You have to trust your relationship is strong enough to handle direct feedback. But that's the paradox: By being more direct, you actually build stronger relationships. Try it with your team this week. You might feel uncomfortable at first, but watch what happens to your culture. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. And companies that learn faster win. - If you liked this post? Follow us for more insights on conscious leadership and building companies from the inside out. Proud to coach with Inside-Out Leadership: executive coaching by trained coaches who have founded, funded, scaled, & sold their own companies.