Writing Descriptions That Improve Conversion Rates

The biggest mistake in sales copy? Writing about yourself instead of your customer. No one buys because of what you do—they buy because of what it does for them. If your website sounds like a resume, you're losing conversions. 📉 ➡️ Real talk: I see this mistake CONSTANTLY when auditing websites. Businesses proudly showcasing their years of experience, certifications, and "passion for helping people" while completely forgetting what their audience actually cares about - what's in it for THEM. 💭 Your potential customers are scrolling through your site with one question in mind: "How will this solve MY problem?" If they have to work to connect those dots, they're clicking away faster than you can say "established in 2012." 🏃♀️ I learned this lesson the hard way when I revamped our agency website several years ago after getting my certification in copywriting. 💡 The moment we flipped our copy from "We do X" to "You get X," our conversion rate tripled. It wasn't magic—it was psychology. Here's how to fix conversion-killing copy: ✔️ Use "you" more than "we" in every piece of content you write ✔️ Speak directly to pain points your audience is experiencing right now ✔️ Transform features into benefits that paint a picture of their improved life ✔️ Make your call-to-action about their transformation, not your service Look at these real examples I've seen (and fixed): ❌ "Our web design studio creates beautiful, responsive websites with custom coding and the latest design trends." ✅ "Your website will become your most effective salesperson, turning visitors into clients while showcasing your creative work at its absolute best." ❌ "Our financial advisory firm has over 20 years of experience managing diverse investment portfolios." ✅ "You'll finally achieve the financial freedom to travel, retire early, or send your kids to college without worrying about market volatility." ❌ "Our REIT app includes numerous property listings across multiple sectors with detailed analytics." ✅ "You'll build a diversified real estate portfolio from your phone without managing physical properties, landlord headaches, or tying up your capital." Your website isn't just words on a page—it's your 24/7/365 salesperson. If it's bragging about your credentials instead of painting a picture of your customer's transformation, you're losing THOUSANDS in potential revenue every single month. ✨ Want to find out if your copy is secretly sabotaging your sales? Comment "COPY" below for a free 10-minute video audit that will show you exactly what's working and what needs to change. ✚ Follow Samantha Hawrylack, MBA for all things SEO, copywriting, email marketing, content marketing, and digital growth. I'm on a mission to help brands scale with data-driven marketing strategies that generate massive visibility and effortless sales while having lifestyle freedom.

Studies show the average online shopper spends just 2.6 seconds evaluating a product. In retail? Even less. After testing dozens of product description styles at Obvi, here's what we found that works both online and irl… So we used to be guilty of the classic DTC move: walls of text above the fold. Shoppers didn’t love that. Then we A/B tested everything in between: Long-form content 📚 Minimal text All lifestyle pics Pure product specs But here's the thing - testing alone isn't enough. You need to know what your customer ACTUALLY cares about. Not what you think they care about. We spent months understanding our customers' concerns about supplements: - Safety questions - Expected results - How it fits their lifestyle Key learning → when it comes to your above the fold content, your customer needs exactly 3 things: - What it is (quick description) - Why it matters (core benefits) - How to use it (simple steps) Everything else is probably a distraction. For your PDP → That means a 2-sentence description max, checkmark-style benefits (✓), and super simple "how to use." The real magic? Your image carousel. We mix lifestyle shots with clean infographics. Half vibe, half value prop. This is where your creativity has to shine. And it's not just about looking pretty. Every design choice needs to serve a purpose. 🎯 For retail: Your packaging should pop first, inform second. Same principles, different battlefield. This is where art meets science →  - Research tells you what matters - Testing shows you what works - Creativity makes it impossible to ignore Think hierarchy. Think impact. Think speed. Because whether they're scrolling or shopping IRL, you've got seconds to make your case. Don't waste them on fluff 💎

When a brand asks me why their landing page isn't converting… ➡️ I ask one question: "Are you answering these 6 critical questions within 8 seconds of landing?" After auditing 200+ landing pages, I've found that high-converting pages (4%+ CVR) all answer these questions immediately: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁? → Not just what it is, but what category it's in → Described with clarity a 5th grader could understand → No jargon or insider language 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲? → Benefits, not features (outcomes, not specifications) → Specific transformation language → Clear, tangible results they can expect 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗜 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱? → Social proof (reviews, testimonials, press) → Authority signals (certifications, expert endorsements) → Transparency elements (real customers, real results) 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀? → Direct or indirect competitor comparisons → "Why this works when others fail" section → Objection handling that addresses alternatives 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲? → Clear shipping expectations → Delivery timeline prominently displayed → Location-based shipping estimates if possible 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁? → Risk reversal (guarantee, warranty, return policy) → Frictionless return process highlighted → Customer service accessibility 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Most landing pages answer maybe 2-3 of these questions well, leaving massive conversion gaps. We worked with brand whose landing pages only clearly answered questions #1 and #2. They were converting at 1.6% despite excellent creative. After restructuring their landing pages to methodically answer all 6 questions, conversion rate jumped to 3.1% 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀: 1. Audit your current landing pages against these 6 questions 2. Identify gaps and restructure your hero section to address them 3. Test different formats (hero section layouts, mobile-first designs) 4. Monitor metrics beyond conversion (scroll depth, time on page, exit points) Remember: Be smart with your copywriting, don't be fancy. Focus on speaking to a 5th grader with your copy. People are on their phones with notifications popping in. Make it frictionless.