Writing Clear and Concise Openings for Blogs

Cut the fluff and say what matters. If your content starts with these phrases- start over: “I’ve been thinking a lot about…” “A lot of people have been asking me…” “So I wanted to take a moment to…” “I just wanted to hop on here and say…” “This might be a little all over the place, but…” “I’m no expert, but…” “Here’s something I’ve been thinking about lately…” “Bear with me as I try to explain this…” “This might be a bit long, but I promise it’s worth it…” “I was talking to a friend the other day and they said…” Delete it. (This applies mostly to service and leadership content) You just wasted the most valuable part of your post: the first few seconds of attention. We live in a scroll world. If your content doesn’t immediately deliver value, most people will swipe up. Here’s how to cut the fluff: -Start with the insight, not the backstory. -Eliminate soft openers, readers aren’t here for your diary entry. -Don’t narrate your thought process, just share the takeaway. Every sentence should earn its place. Before you hit post, ask: Is this useful? Is this clear? Can I say it with fewer words? Content that's efficient will be more respected.

Bad writers wait too long to get into the good stuff. You can think of your title, subtitle, and first few sentences as a sales funnel. Even after somebody's opened your piece, you need to persuade them to keep reading. Here's how you can write better intros: 1) Surprise: Create Suspense You don't need as many words as you think. Sometimes, it only takes one sentence to capture a reader's attention. These one-sentence hooks work particularly well for thrilling and suspenseful pieces. • "On two separate occasions, I've woken up to an intruder breaking into my home after midnight (years apart and in different states)." • "I wanted to strangle mother but I’d have to touch her to do it." — Loretta Hudson • “Every time I see it, that number blows my mind." 2) Insight: Teach the Reader Though these ones are a little bit longer, it doesn't take long for the reader to learn something, and that spark of insight launches them into the piece because they come to see the author as an authority. Both the examples below make the reader say: "Hmmmmm..." • Everyone knows that to do great work you need both natural ability and determination. But there's a third ingredient that's not as well understood: an obsessive interest in a particular topic. — Paul Graham • During a regular dive in the sea, Alexey Molchanov can go 131 meters deep (or about 43 stories) while holding a single breath for nearly five minutes. In that period, his body experiences more gravitational stress than an astronaut during a launch into space. — Polina Marinova Pompliano 3) Set the Scene A few sentences is all it takes to throw the reader into the story. You don't need many words to create a narrative arc, and the words you do choose set the frame for the rest of the piece. • Steamboat Willie put Walt Disney on the map as an animator. Business success was another story. Disney’s first studio went bankrupt. Later cartoons were monstrously expensive to produce, and financed at onerous terms. By the mid-1930s Disney had produced more than 400 cartoons – most of them short, most of them liked, and most of them losing money. Disney and his studio were nearly broke. — Morgan Housel • On February 10, 2002, in a New York State prison cell, the bestselling author and twice-convicted killer Jack Abbott hanged himself with an improvised noose. That same day, the body of the man I murdered washed ashore on a Brooklyn beach in a nylon laundry bag. My reason for connecting these events is to account for my crime. — John J. Lennon To hone your knack for writing introductions, study stand-up comedians. Note how quickly they set the frame for their jokes. They rarely need more than 1-2 sentences to set the scene and make the audience laugh. Your introductions don't need to be funny, but they should be captivating, and you don't need many words to do that.

While editing and writing a considerable number of health and medical articles I have come across a lot of mundane and yawn-inducing introductions during my research. And I swear I never make it past the first few lines of a blog post that fails to grab my attention. With attention spans shrinking by the second, keeping readers engaged is a hard nut to crack. If your site’s bounce rate is through the roof, chances are your opening lines drive readers away instead of pulling them in. Here’s what you might be doing wrong. 1. Vague Opening Sentences 🚫 “Heart disease is one of the leading causes of death worldwide.” 👉 Fix: Create an instant emotional connection by painting a vivid picture or telling a realistic scenario that makes the reader feel the topic's urgency. ✅ “Imagine laughing with your family at dinner, feeling perfectly fine and suddenly, your chest tightens, and the world blurs. A heart attack doesn’t come with a warning, and for millions, it’s their last moment.” 2. Overused Clichés 🚫 “We all know that getting enough sleep is important for our health.” 👉 Fix: Skip generic statements and use unique, thought-provoking hooks instead. ✅ “If sleep were a pill, it would be the most powerful drug on the market for boosting memory, preventing disease, and even extending your lifespan. Yet, most of us willingly deprive ourselves of it every night.” 3. Overloading with Jargon 🚫 “The pathophysiological mechanisms of hypertension involve complex hemodynamic alterations.” 👉 Fix:  Write in a way that anyone can understand, even if they don’t have a medical degree. ✅ “High blood pressure silently damages your heart and arteries often without a single warning sign.” 4. Not Addressing the Reader Directly 🚫 “This article discusses weight loss strategies.” 👉 Fix: Speak directly to the reader to make the content feel personal and relevant. ✅ “Struggling to lose weight despite trying every diet in the book? Here’s what might be holding you back.” 5. No Emotional Hook 🚫 “Chronic pain is a widespread issue.” 👉 Fix: Tap into emotions—fear, curiosity, or even humor—to make your intro stick. ✅ “If you’ve ever struggled to get out of bed because of aching joints, you know how frustrating chronic pain can be.” Your opening lines make or break your content. If they don’t hook your reader instantly, they’ll hit the back button faster than you think. What’s the worst blog intro you’ve ever come across? Drop it in the comments👇