Enhancing Professional Presence

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

The Hostess with the Mostest The Community Builder and Chief Experience Officer The charismatic and energetic speaker who engages and connects with audiences across all backgrounds. One of the first Black Women to ever wear an afro at the Miss World pageant — talk about showing up in every space authentically.🙌🏾 Dr. Terri-Karelle Reid embodies this self-quote: "Dress codes do not diminish one’s self-expression." The first time Dr. Reid came across my LinkedIn newsfeed, I was instantly drawn to her brand, not just as a fellow Caribbean woman but as a leader who is very intentional in the way she uses style. Every look is specifically tailored, both for fit and for relevance. Take, for instance, the menswear-inspired look Dr. Reid wore to deliver a keynote to an Asset Management group in Trinidad and Tobago. To the average person, it's a nice suit. But if you look closely at the audience members, it was a compelling use of storytelling and communication through style. Go take a look at Dr. Reid's profile for that 41-second video — the audience wearing what appeared to be their corporate uniform in navy blue. It's the way she allows her style to mirror her personality and expertise while inviting connectivity with her audience. That's the power of personal style and confidence One of the many frustrations I hear from women who come to me for style coaching is that they don't see a lot of women in leadership boldly tapping into style which makes them weary as to whether there is any place in the workplace where "style" expression and professionalism can coexist And so, my hope is that, starting today until the end of #WomensHistoryMonth, the women I will be sharing will be a source of empowerment and encouragement. Leading with Style is your ability to inspire creativity, embody confidence, and transform spaces. #EmergingLeaders #HerStory #WomenWhoLead #StyleToImpact 📷 Photo Courtesy Dr. Terri - Karelle Reid Disclaimer: I am not Dr. Reid's stylist

Nearly 30 years into my career, I’m still nervous to speak up in meetings. Most women I know are, too. Here’s what I mean: In team meetings or in larger project reviews in which many of my peers and colleagues are present,  I tell others “there are no dumb questions” and then I think my own questions are dumb. I worry I’ll say the wrong thing. I’m nervous I won’t sound smart. But I’ve come to understand one important thing. It’s something no one is going to tell you, because most people don’t even notice. No one is paying attention. While I’m hashing through these concerns in my own mind, many of the folks around me will miss most of what I say because they are so busy worrying about themselves. They’re *also* concerned about what they might say, and how they will be perceived. They will remember that I spoke, and the tone and confidence I brought, not necessarily what I said. Here’s the thing: We know speaking up in meetings is important, that it is one way we are recognized and perceived to have “executive presence.” So this is what works for me: 1️⃣ Before I enter the room, COMMIT TO MYSELF TO SPEAK. Remind myself to chill out. (Probably do that a lot.) 2️⃣ As soon as a forum for conversation is open, I say something. Often at the start of a conversation, there are easy questions that nearly everyone has. Or a clarifying question that shows you understand a point. Or there’s an opportunity to agree with the speaker and support the work. Jump in early. 3️⃣ Sometimes speaking once is enough to break the ice and lead me to feel more comfortable engaging more deeply in a conversation, great! And sometimes speaking once is all I can summon. Here’s what you have to do then: Congratulate yourself anyhow. I’m serious about this. You have to be your own best cheering squad here. This is a strategy that builds on itself. Over time, people will come to expect your voice in a room, to look for it. You may even become less nervous. But honestly, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you will have built a reputation for yourself as a woman with something to say. I talked about this with Samara Bay, author of Permission to Speak, for a recent episode of Hello Monday. You can check out our convo here: https://lnkd.in/gsUMgwBh But mostly, I’d love to know what helps you. How do you speak up? PS: This is a photo of me trying to ask a question at a conference. Can you tell how scared I was?

If you don’t shape your personal brand, other people will. Your personal brand - what people say about you when you're not in the room - is already working for you, or against you. When people talk about you at work, what do they say? That you’re a safe pair of hands? Quietly competent? That you get sh*t done? Is that how you want to be perceived, or are they missing the point? One of my clients, let's call her Jane, was excellent at her job. She had a quiet competence that made everyone in her team look good. The problem was that no one outside her team knew she was the one doing most of the work. Her manager regularly took credit and hogged the limelight, leaving Jane frustrated and resentful. Understandably. When we started working together, we focused on building genuine relationships across the business. She didn’t become a LinkedIn influencer or make any crazy demands. She spoke up more in meetings and made her value visible, without changing who she was. Six months later, her manager left and Jane was promoted. Your brand is about the impact you have on people, and their perception of you, when you’re in the room and when you’re not. It shapes your opportunities more than any CV ever will. If you don't know what your personal brand is, ask. Ask your colleagues what three phrases they would use to describe you as a professional. And then ask yourself if they're missing the point. Is it time to rewrite the story people tell about you? 👇🍿

“I freeze in meetings,” she said, eyes down, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s like… I know what I want to say, but the moment I try, I just blank out.” We began with what seemed obvious—working on structure, clarity, and phrases to anchor her thoughts. But a few sessions in, I realized this wasn’t just about communication. This was about self-trust. So I asked her gently, “Are you afraid of saying the wrong thing… or of how people might see you after you speak?” She paused. “I think… I’m scared they’ll stop respecting me if I mess up.” There it was. She wasn’t afraid of speaking. She was afraid of not being liked after speaking. So we shifted. We worked on tone. On breathing. On pauses. But more than that—we worked on mindset. We practiced owning her space. Believing her thoughts mattered—even when her voice trembled. The next week, she sent me a message: “I did it. I spoke in the meeting. My heart was pounding but I did it.” And then came the line that gave her everything she needed: “Afterwards, my boss said, ‘We’ve been waiting to hear your perspective.’” ⸻ Sometimes, what we think is a “speaking problem” is actually a “believing in yourself” problem. And once you heal that? Your voice finds its power. #communicationskills

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫? Meet Ankita, a rising star in her tech firm. Known for her innovative ideas and problem-solving skills, Ankita decided to express her unique style by wearing bright, bold outfits to work. While her creativity was praised, she noticed that her style often clashed with the company’s more traditional dress code.  It wasn’t long before she faced challenges in how she was perceived during client meetings and presentations. 𝐒𝐨, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧? 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. Here’s how you can embrace your unique style while ensuring it enhances, rather than hinders, your professional success: 🎯𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲’𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞.Adapt your wardrobe to fit these norms while adding personal touches that reflect individuality. 🎯𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥: 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 into classic professional attire. Think personalized accessories, standout colors, or signature styles that align with your industry’s expectations. 🎯𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 and confident. When you feel good about what you’re wearing, it enhances your performance and professional presence. 🎯𝐁𝐞 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐞: 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐞 that allows you to transition seamlessly between different settings—client meetings, presentations, and casual office days. 🎯Solicit Feedback: Ask for input from trusted colleagues or mentors about how your style aligns with your professional goals. Their insights can help you refine your approach. ✨ 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫: 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐈𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬. 👉 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 Power Dressing 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐞! 🌟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧! 🚀 🚀 https://lnkd.in/ghYJcTv6 Share your tips and experiences below—let’s inspire each other to dress for success! #DressForSuccess #ProfessionalStyle #PersonalBranding #CareerGrowth #WorkplaceFashion #Confidence #UniqueStyle #ProfessionalDevelopment

Women and the hidden pressure of dress codes in society ... ... that emphasize attractiveness over competence, adding undue pressure and detracting from professional abilities. Reflecting on the changes during my transition, I’ve become acutely aware of how differently my clothing choices are perceived. This experience highlights the subjective dress code standards women face. 🔸 Changing Perceptions: I notice that my clothes are now judged differently than before. In my "previous life," I could wear almost anything, and it was acceptable. Now, the scrutiny has intensified, and I feel the pressure to dress not just professionally, but also attractively. While I'm still in the middle of the transition, this shift underscores the double standards women encounter daily. 🔹 The Dressing Experience: Even though I am not yet where I want to be, I also notice how the experience of dressing has changed. The emphasis on appearance over competence becomes a daily challenge. Choosing an outfit now involves considering how it might be judged, whether it’s too conservative or too bold, too feminine or not enough. This constant evaluation creates an exhausting balancing act. 🔸 Double Standards in Dress Codes: While men often follow a straightforward dress code, women face a complex set of expectations. Professional attire for women is scrutinized with an emphasis on attractiveness, which can overshadow their skills and qualifications. This discrepancy places an additional burden on women, diverting attention from their professional abilities to how they conform to arbitrary standards. 🔹 Impact on Professional Perception: These dress code double standards contribute to a workplace culture where a woman’s competence can be unfairly judged by her appearance. This misalignment of priorities undermines their professional credibility and perpetuates gender biases. When appearance becomes a criterion for success, it distracts from the genuine skills and talents that women bring to the table. 🔸 Navigating These Expectations: The pressure to conform to these dress code standards can be demoralizing. Women often spend extra time and resources to meet these expectations, which could be better invested in their professional development. This extra burden becomes an unnecessary obstacle in their career progression. What are your thoughts or experiences? For now, I won't worry about it. I'll just wear what I want and enjoy the sun! Hence the photo 😎 #GenderEquality #DressCodeBias #ProfessionalismOverAppearance #DiversityAndInclusion #SocialChange

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 - 𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐈𝐭! This is something I don’t hear discussed often, but it’s real: Just when you believe you've given your all to succeed at work, you realise that your appearance could be a double-edged sword in the professional world. It may sound strange, but for some women, being perceived as 'too polished' has led to doubts about their achievements. This issue came to light through conversations with women who have experienced moments in their career where they were underestimated, dismissed, or not taken seriously - not because of what they lacked, but because of how they looked. Compliments would come before credit and eyebrows were raised when they got promoted because it was assumed that the promotion had to do with their beauty, rather than their capability. If you’ve ever felt this too, here’s what I’ve learned - and what I want to pass on: ◾ You are allowed to be both attractive and highly capable. The two are not mutually exclusive, even if the world sometimes acts like they are. ◾ Lead with your work and be undeniably good at it. Excellence leaves less room for doubt, even in the presence of bias. ◾ Set boundaries. You don’t have to entertain inappropriate comments or tolerate being sidelined. Be clear about your capabilities and maintain professionalism. Let your achievements consistently speak louder than your appearance. Be humble, be courteous and consistently do your work undeniably well! Proverbs 31: 30-31 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. #WomenAtWork #BiasAwareness #WorkplaceEquity #PersonalGrowth #Authenticity #Leadership #WomenEmpoweringWomen #CareerSuccess Warm regards, - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞 -

78% of women have been told they need to be more confident at work. 70% have also been told they are too bossy, aggressive...or worse. After I shared these statistics for the first time during an Ambition Theory keynote, I received an email from a man who had been in the audience. "I didn't believe you," his email said. He wasn't convinced this was happening to the women in his company. So, he asked them. And, it turned out they had all experienced the double bind at some point in their careers (sometimes more than once). The double bind isn't something we need to point fingers about or blame any specific individual for. It just is. It's a result of our society, systems, history etc. But, it exists. And there are things we can do to combat it! In addition to reviewing your company's policies and systems, education & training are essential. 📚 Educating your leadership teams, managers and employees about the double bind and how to address it when it comes up is a great step toward building a workplace culture where women and men can advance equally. 💡Offering leadership training to the women in your company that addresses the double bind and equips them with the tools to work around it is also incredibly effective. If you're curious to know more about how the double bind may be impacting your company's women in construction efforts, let's chat! https://buff.ly/3UgtyvM . . . #WomenInConstruction #ConstructionIndustry #WomenInAEC #DEI #ConstructionHR #WomenInLeadership #DoubleBind