Audience-specific gender communication tips

"Speak up, but watch your tone."  "Be assertive, but smile while doing it."  “Stand your ground, but make sure to be likable." Ladies, sound familiar? 🤨 In honor of #womenshistorymonth, I want to explore this theme. These contradictory expectations create a maddening tightrope that women in business must walk daily. While men are often rewarded for assertive behavior as being "passionate," women exhibiting identical behaviors are labeled "emotional" or worse. 🎾 Remember Serena Williams at the 2018 U.S. Open? When challenging the umpire's call, she was penalized a game - something rarely seen in Grand Slam matches. Meanwhile, tennis "bad boys" McEnroe and Connors reminded us they'd done far worse without comparable consequences. Let's talk about what's really happening: 👉🏻 Gender stereotypes prescribe men to be dominating, while expecting women to be warm and nurturing, even in competitive or leadership roles. When women breach these stereotypes, they face what researchers call an "assertiveness penalty." A 2008 study revealed that "men received a boost in perceived status after expressing anger," while "women were accorded lower status, lower wages, and seen as less competent." So how do women navigate this unfair landscape? 1. Understand your communication style through assessments like DISC or Myers-Briggs 2. Master your triggers - that "amygdala hijack" that can derail conversations 3. Frame your statements - "Because I feel strongly about (patient safety), I'm going to speak very directly" 4. Cultivate allies who can step in to support To all women who have been called "aggressive" when being honest and direct: You probably weren't. The other person might have been intimidated. 💡You deserve to shine your light, even if it casts a big shadow. ⚡Correction: The world needs you to shine your light. Period. What has helped you find your voice in spaces designed to silence it? #womenleaders #genderbias #communicationskills #professionaladvice #doublestandards #serenawilliams

How can women leaders leverage commanding confidence in professional settings? Women and men communicate differently. During Women's History Month, I will post about the mindsets and speech habits that tend to hold us back from our highest potential 💪. For example, a study in Psychological Science cited that women tend to feel more anxious about asking live questions at professional meetings, and are less likely than men to do so. In academic seminars, women are two and half times less likely to ask questions than men are. A similar study found that if a woman asked the first question, women in the audience were more likely to ask their own. When I work with young female professionals, I train them on 🗣 question-asking skills and coach them to never attend a meeting without making their voices heard. Ask a clarifying question, praise what someone else said, thank the speaker for their insights, but don’t leave the meeting without leaving your mark. My Master Communicator Blog 🎤, "Why do women and men communicate differently?" highlights common communication habits that may be harmful to a woman's credibility and perceived authority, and offers six solutions. Click the link below to read the full blog post, but here is a sampling: ✴️ Vary your pitch. Tap the lowest natural register of your voice to signal confidence. Avoid uptalk or upspeak (higher pitch at the end of a sentence that sounds like a question.) ✴️ Cut out the filler words (um, ah, like, you now, etc.) and replace them with breaths and pauses. Fillers are perceived as signs of hesitation and lack of preparation. ✴️ Claim "talking space" by asking questions and warding off interruptions. Stand when you speak in a conference setting to ensure you are SEEN and HEARD. ✴️ Avoid hedging and tagging. Prefacing a question with “This may be a silly question, but...” and "Someone may have asked this already, but...” disempowers you. Similarly, tags dilute your statements and weaken your authority: “I propose we take this action, BUT I COULD BE WRONG.” These and dozens of other communication techniques can help emerging and established women leaders level the playing field to persuade, inspire and move people to action. #leadershipcommunication #executivepresence #womenleaders #executivecommunication #publicspeakingcoach #publicspeakingskills

If you’re the only woman on a tech conference panel, congratulations on not being cast in the role of the supportive moderator. Congrats also for being recognized for your expertise and not only being up there on stage because your presence breaks the bad optics of a manel. But, because audiences bring all their unconscious bias with them, I recommend you employ strategies that clearly signal your credibility and that you do it very consciously. For example, in your self-introduction try these: 1. The present – past - future format 2.  If you were head-hunted, say so 3.  Talk $ 4. Use the word I - Women often use 'we' to describe achievements and 'I' for failures. Not on a panel where you’re the only woman, you don’t. This is what that could sound like: Today, I’m the Chief Data Officer at (your current employer). I bring experience from the defense, cyber-security and the autonomous vehicles industries. I was head-hunted from (company name) and built the integration of AI processes from the ground up. I started with $X but today my budget is $XX. As we get ready to IPO, my responsibility as the CDO is to oversee the integrity, security, and transparency of the company's data to ensure investor confidence. During the panel: 1.  Use key data points to make your case. The specifics of numbers help to demonstrate your expertise and reinforce our sense of your expertise 2.     Use inclusive language like “we” and “our industry” to position yourself as a peer with the other panelists 3.     Make your case studies short clear and link them to the bigger idea you want to convey. For example, if your goal is to position yourself as an industry leader, then link the case studies you reference to your company's goals. 4.     Build off ideas that others share. You don't always have to wait until it's your turn to contribute. Wait for the first time you're given the the mic but after that, even a brief response to the others on the panel will help you stand out. 5.     Handle interruptions gracefully. If you're interrupted you can say, I'd like to finish my point, calmly and firmly. You can also acknowledge the interrupter's comment and then return to your original thought. Physically 6.     Speak loudly. A good way to do this is to think about speaking to the back row of the room. 7.     Take up space. Use the armrests of your chair and lean back a little. Relaxation when we speak in public conveys authority. 8.     Audiences expect women to smile more than men. You do you, period. 9.     Wear whatever you want - But make sure you feel fabulous in it. Go get ‘em - and next time, bring three other women with you. #publicspeaking #presentationskills #breakthemanel #shespeaks