Connecting with Learners Through Personal Narratives

Early in my career, when I shared the story of a workshop that completely bombed (an email announcing layoffs arrived in everyone's inbox during day 1 lunch of a two-day program -- and I had no idea how to handle this), three women immediately reached out to share their own "disaster" stories. We realized we'd all been carrying shame about normal learning experiences while watching men turn similar setbacks into compelling leadership narratives about risk-taking and resilience. The conversation that we had was more valuable than any success story I could have shared. As women, we are stuck in a double-bind: we are less likely to share our successes AND we are less likely to share our failures. Today, I'm talking about the latter. Sharing failure stories normalizes setbacks as part of growth rather than evidence of inadequacy. When we women are vulnerable about their struggles and what they learned, it creates permission for others to reframe their own experiences. This collective storytelling helps distinguish between individual challenges and systemic issues that affect many women similarly. Men more readily share and learn from failures, often turning them into evidence of their willingness to take risks and push boundaries. Women, knowing our failures are judged more harshly, tend to hide them or frame them as personal shortcomings. This creates isolation around experiences that are actually quite common and entirely normal parts of professional development. Open discussion about setbacks establishes the expectation that failing is not only normal but necessary for success. It builds connection and community among women who might otherwise feel alone in their struggles. When we reframe failures as data and learning experiences rather than shameful secrets, we reduce their power to limit our future risk-taking and ambition. Here are a few tips for sharing and learning from failure stories: • Practice talking about setbacks as learning experiences rather than personal inadequacies • Share what you learned and how you've applied those lessons, not just what went wrong • Seek out other women's failure stories to normalize your own experiences • Look for patterns in women's challenges that suggest systemic rather than individual issues (and then stop seeing systemic challenges as personal failures!) • Create safe spaces for honest conversation about struggles and setbacks • Celebrate recovery and growth as much as initial success • Use failure stories to build connection and mentorship relationships with other women We are not the sum of our failures, but some of our failures make us more relatable, realistic, and ready for our successes. So let's not keep them to ourselves. #WomensERG #DEIB #failure

As a leader of learning and development teams and now in my consulting role, I've noticed a shift in how we present the impact of our work. We used to rely heavily on facts, charts, and pages of detailed statistics to showcase our reach. But I've found #storytelling to be a much more compelling way to demonstrate real human #impact. This was driven home for me in a recent Amazon commercial that features three women gazing at a snowy hill where people are sledding. Not a single word is spoken, yet we understand these friends are reminiscing about childhood memories made in a similar setting. The story of lasting connection and friendship shines through beautifully without overt explanation. I think this is a key lesson for those of us in L&D roles. We spend so much time tracking participation rates, completion metrics and quiz scores. But what really matters is how our work impacts real people and teams. Storytelling puts faces and #emotions to the numbers. By spotlighting individual learner journeys, we can showcase personal growth and #performance improvements. Instead of stating "95% of employees completed our new manager training last quarter," we can share, "Let me tell you about how Amy implemented what she learned about feedback conversations to dramatically improve her team's engagement scores." Storytelling aligns people to purpose by helping them see themselves and their colleagues reflected in the narratives. It builds connection as people realize we all experience similar pain points, growth opportunities, and wins. So as you look for ways to expand the reach and impact of L&D in your organization, I encourage you to tell more stories. Share how real humans have advanced in their careers thanks to new skills, built relationships using your training content or overcome challenges after adopting new tools. The facts and stats remain important, but the stories will truly capture hearts and minds. Have an example to share? Add it in the comments below and let's learn together!

I wondered why accelerator directors say people are more engaged in my sessions. Not anymore. In the past 6 months, I've led Storytelling for Startups sessions for 6 groups. Plus...every 2 weeks I co-lead sessions for FounderUp. And...I'm doing 2 in Chicago this week. The most common feedback I get from organizers is: "Wow! They were so engaged! Usually they're quiet." I didn't think much about it. I drive for engagement no matter what I'm teaching. If you could learn it by yourself, you don't need me. If I could be replaced by a YouTube video, I should be. I specifically aim to build trust in my opening. I share something real about myself. I share a time I was scared, unsure, or made a mistake. My stories don't end there though. I take my audience to the other side of the triangle. I show them what changed...and how it changed me. Yesterday on the flight to Chicago, I read a book recommended by a person in my Storybuilder course. Daniel Coyle's "The Culture Code" showed me why my openings lead to more engagement. When we join a new group, we ask 3 questions; 1️⃣ Are we connected? 2️⃣ Do we share a future? 3️⃣ Are we safe? The stories I tell are specifically designed to make the answers to 1&3 a resounding YES! And to invite the audience to say YES! to 2. I knew this worked for stories. But, I didn't realize how powerful it is for long-term culture as well. Now I do. ...and you can bet I'm going to be doing more of it! We believe it's more "professional" to speak formally. But, what we really need (and want) is connection. Formal, stilted speech is distancing speech. Avoiding talking about your personal struggles is a sign it's not safe to be yourself here. If you want connection, belonging, trust, and engagement, bring your audience in close. Very close. With a story so close it's a little scary for you to tell. Then...watch your risk be rewarded with connection ...and engagement. Do you prefer to bring your audience (whether it's 1 person or 1000) in close...or is it too scary? ---------------- Hi, I'm Dan. I tell scary stories. ...and I teach others how as well. #Story #Storytelling #founders