Why Women Must Stop Apologizing for Their Needs

I don’t care if the world is ending. I don’t care if the deal is closing. I don’t care if the CEO is waiting. If I need to pick up my children, I’m leaving. And no, I’m not sorry about it. But I used to be. I used to apologize: For leaving at 5:55pm. For declining late calls. For not replying until after bedtime. I thought it made me look uncommitted. And it didn't help that I received comments from senior leadership. “You chose to have kids.” “Can’t you get a nanny?” “We really need you to be flexible.” Translation? "We only value you when you work like you don’t have children." Many women feel this. Torn between needing to be present at work and at home. Feeling guilty for being neither here nor there. This is a workplace culture problem. And a societal one. Because women are apologizing out of obligation to be: ➡️ Agreeable. ➡️ Grateful. ➡️ Forgoing our boundaries. Apologizing isn't the answer. Change is. Here’s how we start: ✅ Normalize visibility. Say “I have to leave for school pickup” with the same conviction as “I have a meeting with the CEO.” ✅ Challenge the culture. When apologizing, ask who you’re protecting. Your job or outdated expectations? ✅ Lead loudly. Especially if you’re senior. Show others parenting is part of being a whole human. ✅ Redefine professionalism. It’s not 24/7 availability. It’s sustainable, focused work. ✅ Become your own boss. (The option I chose) Answer to yourself and yourself alone. If a company ever makes you feel like parenting is a problem, the problem isn’t you. Sorry. Not sorry.

🚨 "Sorry" isn't always polite—sometimes it's self-sabotage. Last week, I watched my colleague apologize to someone who was squatting in HER booked meeting room. She had every right to that space, arrived on time, and handled the situation professionally. Yet, as the person was getting ready to leave, she said "sorry" and apologized for asking them to leave. That bothered me! Why do we—especially women in tech—apologize for claiming what's already ours? ✅ Our seat at the table ✅ Our project ownership ✅ Our technical opinions ✅ Our well-deserved promotion ✅ Our time and boundaries After a quick coaching moment, my colleague realized she'd been conditioned to soften her presence even when she was 100% in the right. Here's what I told her (and what I'm telling you): "Don't apologize for taking things that are rightfully yours." Your expertise isn't a favor to your team—it's an asset. Your leadership isn't pushy—it's necessary. Your boundaries aren't selfish—they're professional. Women in tech: What's one thing you've apologized for that you actually had every right to claim? Let's break this habit together. 👇 #WomenInTech #Leadership #StopApologizing #TechCareers #ProfessionalGrowth

Stop teaching women to be confident. We don’t need another pep talk. We don’t need more “you got this” speeches or workshops on how to feel stronger. Because let’s be real: women already are confident. They study. They deliver results. They lead teams. They launch businesses. They have the expertise. Confidence isn’t the problem. The real gap? 👉 Credibility — when a man speaks, authority is assumed. When a woman speaks, her credibility is questioned. 👉 Self-trust — not “can I do it?” but “do I trust myself enough to stop apologizing, overexplaining, or shrinking when I do it?” And yes, this is maddening to witness: we’ve all seen mediocrity celebrated as authority on one side of the table, while brilliance gets interrogated on the other. Double standards drive me crazy. So instead of pushing women to “fix themselves” with more confidence, the work is two-fold: ⚡ Fix the systems that undermine them. ⚡ Practice the subtle shifts that close the credibility gap. Here’s the simple micro-framework I share with clients when influence feels harder than it should: 1️⃣ Align — Anchor in what actually matters: your values, your expertise, your goals. And ask yourself the hardest question: am I sitting at the right table? Because if you’re at the wrong one, it’s like fighting windmills. No amount of “confidence” will make that worth it. 2️⃣ State — Share your perspective clearly. No hedging. No over-explaining. No apologizing for taking space. This is the one piece where practice is everything — the muscle you build each time you refuse to downplay yourself. 3️⃣ Evidence — Back it up with data, examples, proof. Unfair? Absolutely. Necessary? Yes. Because credibility isn’t handed to us the way it is to others. We build it, brick by brick. Here’s the secret: 👉 Just “being confident” without credibility, without alignment, without self-trust… is like shouting into the wind. 👉 Alignment + clarity + evidence? That’s what shifts the room. And no, you don’t have to wake up every day ready to “fix the system” by yourself. None of us do. But every aligned statement, every piece of evidence, every time you refuse to shrink — you’re not just protecting your seat. You’re reshaping the table. Now tell me: when was the last time you noticed credibility being assumed for someone else… and questioned for you? (And if this hit home: my DMs are open.)

Things I Stopped Apologizing for as a Woman Entrepreneur 🚫 When I became self-employed 9 years ago, I thought I had to be everything to everyone. I undercharged, over-delivered, said yes too often, and constantly second-guessed myself. I caught myself saying "sorry” more than I should have: -Sorry for charging that rate -Sorry for setting a boundary -Sorry for being confident in my work Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t actually sorry. I just felt like I had to apologize to be accepted, to seem "nice," or to avoid making others uncomfortable. But over time, I learned something important: shrinking doesn’t serve anyone. Here’s what I’ve stopped apologizing for: ✅ Charging my worth—my time, skills, and expertise matter. ✅ Saying no without guilt—boundaries protect my energy and my business. ✅ Taking up space—confidence isn’t something to hide. ✅ Celebrating my wins—because success deserves to be owned. ✅ Putting myself first—because burnout helps no one. Being self-employed taught me a lot. But the biggest lesson? You don’t need to make yourself smaller to succeed. Remember, your voice and your work deserve to be seen and heard. What’s something you’ve stopped apologizing for? Let’s talk in the comments. #WomenInBusiness #Confidence #Leadership #Mindset #Entrepreneurship

73% of high-achieving women say they feel like they're carrying the weight of representation alone. I know that weight. You know that weight. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕. Last month, I watched a brilliant executive: PhD, 15 years of experience, flawless track record, apologize for existing in a boardroom. Again. She'd been code-switching so long, she forgot her own voice had power. Here's what I've learned about redefining success after working with 200+ high-achieving Black women: • Success isn't solo. The biggest lie? That you have to climb alone. Real power multiplies when we lift together. • Your authenticity isn't negotiable. Stop paying the authenticity tax. Your real voice is your competitive advantage. • Perfection is prison. They need you imperfect and confident, not flawless and exhausted. • Boundaries create respect. The moment you stop shrinking, you start commanding. • Your success validates theirs. Every room you own makes space for the next woman. The client I mentioned? She stopped apologizing. Started commanding. Doubled her team size in 6 months. Because confidence converts. I'm starting a cohort of high-achieving women who are done shrinking to fit and want to shut down imposter syndrome and turn confidence into cash. No fluff. All fire. What would change in your career if you stopped carrying the weight of representation and started sharing the power of presence? P.S. The woman who apologizes for taking up space never gets to own the room. Stop shrinking. Start commanding.

I watched a top female executive apologize three separate times in one meeting last week. Not for mistakes—for having opinions. After 20+ years working with women leaders, I've uncovered an uncomfortable truth: 80% of women's leadership communities focus on "fixing women" rather than fixing broken systems. • "Speak up more in meetings" • "Be more assertive (but not too assertive)" • "Here's how to navigate office politics" The subtext? The system is fine. You're the problem. I fell into this trap early in my career. I attended workshops on executive presence, voice modulation, and "strategic visibility." I practiced power poses in bathroom stalls before big meetings. I thought I needed fixing. What I actually needed was to recognize that the game itself is rigged, not my ability to play it. This revelation changed everything about how I approach leadership development for women. When I created herSpace at oxygen4Leadership, I built it on this core principle: Women don't need fixing. Systems do. Our community: • Identifies systemic barriers embedded in "normal" workplace practices • Provides collective strategies for challenging these structures • Creates safe spaces for authentic leadership without constant self-monitoring • Celebrates your strengths rather than highlighting perceived "deficiencies" The executive I mentioned? In our session today, we didn't work on her "apologetic communication style." Instead, we mapped the meeting dynamics that created an environment where she felt compelled to apologize for contributing. The solution wasn't in her behavior. It was in addressing the system. Have you noticed yourself trying to "fix" your leadership style to fit a broken system? What would change if you redirected that energy toward changing the system itself? If you're tired of communities that subtly blame women for not advancing, join us at herSpace. We're building something different - Link in the comments. #WomenInLeadership #SystemicChange #AuthenticLeadership #HerspaceLeadership #GenderEquality

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗨𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 Not long ago, I noticed something curious in my sessions. Brilliant, capable clients, leaders, founders, and high performers kept apologizing for things that didn’t require an apology. “Sorry, I’m taking up time.” “Sorry, quick question.” “Sorry, I didn’t explain that well.” These weren’t moments of wrongdoing. They were moments of being human — of existing, thinking, contributing. And yet, “sorry” had become their default punctuation. The truth is, every unnecessary apology chips away at your presence. It shrinks your authority, even if unintentionally. When you say “sorry” for things like needing clarity, taking up space, or simply having an opinion, you’re sending a subtle message to the world and to yourself that your needs are a disruption. That you are a disruption. Over time, that habit doesn’t just affect how others perceive you; it begins to shape how you perceive yourself. I’ve coached clients who couldn’t figure out why they felt so small in the rooms they were leading. Why their confidence faltered even though their skills were solid. Often, the root wasn’t a lack of competence. It was a habit of apologizing for their voice, their presence, their very being. It’s a silent erosion of self-respect. One they didn’t even realize was happening. Here’s what’s worse: when you say “sorry” all the time, the moments when you actually need to apologize lose their meaning. Real accountability requires clarity. But if you blanket your interactions with constant guilt, people can’t tell when you genuinely own a mistake, and neither can you. Your boundaries blur. Your emotional energy drains. You begin to confuse politeness with undermining yourself. So here’s a 24-hour challenge. Only apologize when you’ve genuinely harmed. Not for speaking. Not for asking. Not for existing. Notice what shifts in your posture, in your tone, in the way others respond to you. The change might seem small, but it’s not. Because language isn’t just about communication but about identity, and your identity deserves clarity, not constant correction. 👉 If this speaks to a pattern you’ve seen in yourself or your team, let’s connect. #AuthenticCommunication #StopOverApologizing #VoiceMatters #MindsetShift #SelfLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #CoachSharath #BradfordInternationalAlliance

It’s time to stop saying, “I’m sorry” in the workplace. Growing up, I was taught that being a woman meant being agreeable and not ruffling feathers. Research shows that confident and assertive women are often punished in workplaces. This is why more women tend to say “I’m sorry” compared to men by default. But it's disempowering... and unfair. Recently, I had an amazing woman leader I coach who came to me asking for advice. She told me that one of her superiors shared some negative feedback with her, which she was surprised by. I asked her whether she felt the feedback was justified. She said no. But the next thing she said was: “But I felt really bad about it and immediately said ‘I’m sorry’ to him.” So I asked her how she felt after saying that, and without hesitation, she said it was “disempowering.” More importantly, when I heard the full story, the negative feedback wasn't justified. So, by saying sorry, she admitted fault when there was none. Instead, I suggested she try a different approach next time. She could say: “Thank you for sharing your feedback. I appreciate your insights and would like to understand more about the specific instances you mentioned. Could you share a few examples? This will help me understand better where I need to improve.” This opens up a true dialogue and transforms the situation from disempowering to empowering. Granted, I'm not saying you should never apologize. But let’s be careful only to say it when we truly mean it. Here are a few situations where replacing an apology with a more direct approach can be beneficial: When disagreeing: ❌ Instead of: “Sorry, but I’m not sure if this will work…” ✅ Say: “That’s an interesting view. I have a different take I’d like to share.” When making an ask: ❌Instead of: “Sorry for taking up your time, but could I ask a question?” ✅Say: “Could I ask a question?” When communicating your boundaries: ❌Instead of: “Sorry, I can’t work late tonight because I have a family member in town.” ✅ Say: “I can’t work late tonight, but I’m happy to help tomorrow morning.” Let’s empower ourselves by communicating confidently. How do you handle situations where you feel the urge to apologize unnecessarily? How can i support you to become the most impactful and confident YOU? My DM is open! #leadership #productmarketing #growth #coaching

"I'm sorry" has become a reflex in business, especially for women leaders. But these two words are rarely effective in a professional context. Earlier in my career, I'd start emails with "Sorry for the length of this email,” “Sorry for the amount of emails,” or “Sorry for this delay." Then I realized: apologizing often isn’t effective unless you have done something purposefully wrong. When you haven't actually done something wrong, it undermines your authority and becomes meaningless through overuse. Since then, I've learned to: • Replace “Sorry for the length of the email” with “The below is highly detailed.” • Replace “Sorry for the amount of emails” with “Today I have sent multiple updates.” • Replace "I'm sorry I'm late" with "Thank you for your patience" or "Let's dive in." • Save genuine apologies for if I've actually caused harm. One person who worked for me started every interaction with "I'm sorry." I coached them: "Sorry is not an answer, nor a business term.” Business challenges require solutions, not apologies. "I'm sorry" is an ending — it offers nothing actionable. Better to say: "This isn't working as planned; here are two options for moving forward." Being solution-oriented doesn't mean being cold. It means respecting everyone's time and energy by focusing on what moves us forward rather than dwelling on what held us back.

Ladies in business... Stop apologizing, break the habit. Stop with the one liners, statements and pity tactics that are holding you back in your career. Yes I said it, holding you back in your career. This isn't a political post, I am just telling you all (which includes myself) the truth. "Sorry for the delay." Are you really delayed? "I know you are busy." Is their time more valuable than yours? "I don't mean to bother you." Is your existence a burden? "Can I just say something?" Why would you not be able to? The list goes on and on. That is NOT powerful language. That is NOT leadership language. That is NOT female language. That is damaged, hurt, victim language. Speak up, stand up. Advocate for yourself. Stop going into an interaction assuming you are the less valuable, weaker, or important party. Where did that come from? Who told you that? Bob from three years ago in finance... Ok?!? Steve, your boss from 10 years ago.. OK?!? Or better yet was it Stephanie.... Or even worse yet... was it you? Stop apologizing. You did, and are doing nothing wrong. And if you did or do... then actually apologize for it. Change your wording, change your career. With love... A fellow female in business ❤️