Understanding the voice of self-doubt in women

Ever catch yourself saying “I’m a fraud"? "I'm not enough" or “If I mess up, people will know I don’t belong here”? If you do, you’re not alone. Ron Carucci’s Harvard Business Review article powerfully puts it: “The most driven, high-performing individuals often harbor the harshest internal dialogue. The data bears this out for leaders, for whom the implications of excessive self-criticism can be far reaching.” 👉🏻 For high-performing & high-functioning individuals and leaders, this voice can get exceptionally loud. Then it becomes a shame spiral. Yet the truth is trying to silence that voice only makes it come back louder (and meaner). While this voice can serve to protect you, it never appears by accident. It’s the child of early experiences, high expectations, and cultures that taught us to fear mistakes more than missed opportunities. And here’s where it gets deeply human. When a leader leads from a place of harsh self-judgment, it doesn’t just live inside them. It seeps into their team, meetings, company culture: 💡 97% of senior executives had questioned some aspect of their leadership abilities. 💡 Psychological safety vanishes when managers project perfectionism and their harsh expectations onto others. 💡 Self-doubt can breed “analysis paralysis”, slowing down decision making. Feedback becomes something to be fearful over. As many therapists (myself included) have also pointed out: 💬 We MUST befriend our inner critic.  💬 Understand what is it trying to protect.  💬 Lead with self-compassion as an antidote to fear. Give it a new voice, new script. It doesn’t mean this voice will go away. But what it means is that when we work on navigating that voice, there begins a journey into grace and spaciousness. And often, there is a positive ripple effect outwards. P.S: What does your inner critic frequently say and how have you befriended it?

"𝐀𝐦 𝐈 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬?" Let me tell you a secret. That voice in your head, the one that pops up in the middle of a meeting, right as you’re confidently contributing, and whispers, “Do they know I have no idea what I’m doing?” Yeah, I know it well. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮: That voice doesn’t go away just because you’ve got a fancy title, degrees from IIMs or Stanfords or decades of experience. If anything, it gets louder. Why? Because leadership today isn’t what it used to be. The roles aren’t defined anymore. The expectations keep changing mid-game. And that clear playbook everyone says you should follow? Doesn’t exist. Instead, we’re leading through shifting markets, cultural upheavals, with multigenerational people and those dreaded late-night messages that start with “Hey… got a quick sec?” (Guess what: It’s never quick.) And while you’re out here juggling a million priorities, that little voice loves to ask, “Are you sure you’re the right person for this?” Why does it hit so hard? Simple. We’ve been conditioned to believe that leadership is about knowing everything, being bulletproof, and never showing doubt. Social media hasn’t helped either. Every other leader seems to be winning awards, 40 under 40, 50 under 50, World Something of the Year, while simultaneously redefining industries and meditating at a newly opened 7-star resort on the coastal shores of India. All of this is great! But here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough: 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞. You care about the decisions you’re making, the people you’re leading, and the work you’re putting out there. That self-doubt? It’s a sign you’re stretching yourself, not falling short. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫? You second-guess every move. You work twice as hard to “prove yourself,” only to burn out. And you hold back when it’s time to take risks because, what if I stumble? Sounds familiar? Yeah, me too. 𝐒𝐨, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞? ⇢ Stop trying to be perfect. Great leaders don’t know everything, they focus on learning and asking good questions. ⇢ Celebrate your wins. Closed a deal or handled a crisis? That’s what leadership looks like. ⇢ Find your support system. Peers and mentors make the journey easier and better. ⇢ Be yourself. The world doesn’t need another Oprah or Elon, it needs you. Reality is that nobody’s really ready for leadership. It’s not about having a magic formula; it’s about showing up, learning as you go, and being brave enough to admit when you’re figuring it out. The next time that little voice pops up and asks, “Am I even qualified for this?” just smile and say, “You bet I am.” Because if you’ve made it this far, you’re doing something right. #leadershipjourney #impostersyndrome #authenticleadership

When you’ve worked so hard to reach the top, why does self-doubt creep in even stronger? For many successful women leaders, loneliness and isolation at the top can amplify feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, commonly known as imposter syndrome. Even the most accomplished leaders get affected by this. As I climbed the ladder in my leadership journey, I expected to find greater confidence and validation. However, reaching the top brought about an unsettling mix of self-doubt and isolation. The paradox of feeling successful yet profoundly disconnected. Looking back, I can see some of the things that fuelled this sense of disconnect. This included lack of relatable peers locally (being CEO at 32),, the increased pressure to build on the work of my predecessor, fewer opportunities for honest reflection with trusted peers, and the absence of a sounding board to bounce off the high stakes decisions. Thankfully, loneliness doesn’t have to be a permanent part of leadership. As woman in leadership, you can combat both isolation and imposter syndrome by building intentional support networks and seeking mentors who can relate to their unique struggles. So, in addition to the list from yesterday, here are a few more on some of the ways to reclaim your confidence and connection. 1. Engaging in women's leadership groups. Professional groups focused on women in leadership provide spaces to connect with others who understand the specific challenges of being a woman at the top. These communities offer valuable reassurance and validation that help women combat feelings of inadequacy and gain strength from shared experiences. Some of the communities I have seen here on LinkedIn include The Ladies Book Breakfast Forum, WOMEN IN HR KENYA, and Women On Boards Network Kenya among others. Search for your industry group and be part of its activities and engagements. 2. Seek out mentorship   A trusted mentor can be a powerful ally against imposter syndrome. By connecting with someone who has walked a similar path, you can gain perspective from someone else's own journey and learn strategies to manage self-doubt. Mentorship also helps reinforce their accomplishments and provides guidance, helping them see themselves as competent and capable. 3. Finally, practice self-validation techniques.   Journaling, self-affirmations, or setting aside time to celebrate achievements can help counter the negative self-talk that loneliness and imposter syndrome trigger. Remember who you are. Recognize and acknowledge personal wins, no matter how small. These help to foster your confidence and reduces reliance on external validation. In this journey, success and self-belief can thrive together. Imposter syndrome can make the journey to success feel lonely and filled with self-doubt, but it doesn’t have to be this way. What are other networks available here on LinkedIn? Tag and help a sister 😀 #africa #leadershipdevelopment #professionalwomen #personaldevelopment #

When fear whispers loudest, it's not time to shrink... Fear and self-doubt are not signs that you’re broken or behind, they’re signs that you’re expanding beyond what’s familiar. When you're leading change, whether in your career, relationships, community, or personal evolution, fear becomes part of the journey. But it doesn’t have to be the driver. This week, we’ll explore 3 powerful truths that shift how you relate to fear and self-doubt so that you stop shrinking and start shining: 1. Why Fear & Self-Doubt Are Part of Leadership and Transformation Real leadership—especially as a midlife woman rewriting old scripts—is vulnerable. You’re not just leading tasks. You’re leading people. Ideas. Movements. Energy. Fear and doubt show up because: 🧡 You care deeply. 🧡 You’re stepping into unknown territory. 🧡 You’re disrupting long-held beliefs (your own and others'). Fear is your brain’s safety mechanism. Doubt is your ego’s way of saying: “Don’t mess this up.” They’re natural responses, not personal failings. 2. How Fear Sabotages Voice, Visibility, and Vitality Fear often sounds like: 😡 “What if I’m not good enough?” 😡 “I don’t want to come across as too much.” 😡 “What if they reject me?” These thoughts may seem logical, yet they chip away at: Your Voice – You self-censor, dilute your truth, or avoid speaking up. Your Visibility – You shrink from opportunities, avoid the spotlight, and stay small. Your Vitality – Chronic fear depletes your nervous system, zaps your energy, and leads to burnout. Fear unchecked = brilliance dimmed. 3. How to Shift from Hesitation to Empowered Action You don’t need to eliminate fear—you need to lead yourself through it. Tools that help: ✅ Name the fear – Call it out to disarm its grip. ✅ Create micro-moments of safety – Breathe, ground, and connect with your ‘why’. ✅ Act anyway – Choose small, courageous steps. Each one builds your confidence bank. Fear doesn’t disappear it evolves. But so do you... #MidlifeLeadership #FearToFreedom #CourageInAction #SelfDoubtToSelfTrust #SelfLeadership

In male-dominated spaces, self-doubt isn’t just a personal struggle. It’s a reflection of the system you’re navigating. I've coached so many brilliant women who would feel like impostors in rooms full of men. One of my clients, a senior director in tech, constantly felt she had to prove she belonged. Every time she spoke up, she'd second-guess herself. Too assertive? Not assertive enough? But here’s what I learned... That voice saying, "I don't belong here"? It's not your gut talking. It's the result of being in a world that wasn't designed with you in mind. When you're the only woman at the table, it's not about whether you belong. You do. Period. The real question is... How can you leverage that discomfort to lead differently? The very perspective that makes you feel like an outsider is your superpower. You see blind spots others don’t. You challenge assumptions no one else questions. The next time you feel out of place, remember, you’re not an impostor, you’re a pioneer. And pioneers? They always feel uncomfortable. That’s how they know they’re breaking new ground. So, what’s your unique perspective? It’s time to stop doubting it and start using it. Ready to turn your "outsider" perspective into your leadership superpower? Join over 15K driven women who receive my weekly insights on how to thrive and redefine leadership on your own terms. (🔗 right above this post) #AliciaEmpowering

On this episode of The Overthinking CPO: Self-doubt. As promised, here we are. This one’s open to anyone, but—let’s be honest—it’ll likely resonate louder with women. Because… stats. • Only 1 in 10 women apply for a job unless they meet 100% of the listed qualifications. • 70% of people experience imposter syndrome—but women, especially women of color, report it more frequently. • And a McKinsey study showed that men are more likely to be promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on performance. Oof. So let’s rewind to last week at the Great Places to Work For All Summit. Penny Pennington shared a moment—a small, three-minute story in the middle of her talk—about doubting herself for a role. She knew the company. She understood the direction. She had the vision. But she hadn’t “done” every part of that role. And that single piece of it made her doubt if she was right for it. That hit hard. Because it’s not just her. I see it. I coach it. I try to stop it in my own team. And yet, there I was, on the plane ride home, reflecting (read: overthinking), realizing I had done the same exact thing two weeks prior. Someone asked about my path to the CPO seat. And I started justifying. “Well, I know my background’s a bit unconventional—more finance, ops, total rewards… less traditional HR.” “I covered this. I led that. I know these things.” But here’s the zinger: no one asked me to justify it. They weren’t questioning whether I was qualified. I was. I put the doubt out there. I opened the door to imposter syndrome. And yeah—there are people out there who will make you feel like you have to prove yourself. I’ve met them. You probably have, too. But so often, it’s not them. It’s us. We look at a job description and think, “Well, I only check 8 of the 10 boxes.” Meanwhile, someone else is applying with 5 and just the vibe that they can figure it out. We tell ourselves we need to be 12/10 qualified just to apply, instead of trusting that 8/10 and the ability to learn the other two is actually the whole point. So here’s my challenge for the week: 1. When you catch yourself doing this—stop. Mid-sentence if you have to. 2. When you hear someone else doing it—call it out. Remind them who they are. 3. Don’t be the person who adds to the doubt. You know the one. The “there’s only room for one at the table” vibe. We don’t need more of that. We’re qualified. We’re ready. Nobody’s questioning us—so let’s stop questioning ourselves.

For many women in tech, stepping into leadership roles comes with an uninvited companion: self-doubt. The lingering question of “Do I really belong here?” often shadows even the most accomplished professionals. But owning your seat at the table starts with recognizing that you’ve earned it through your expertise, hard work, and unique perspective. Overcoming self-doubt begins by reframing your inner narrative. Instead of focusing on what you don’t know, highlight what you bring to the table—your problem-solving skills, innovative ideas, and leadership potential. Seek out supportive mentors and sponsors who remind you of your value, and surround yourself with peers who uplift and challenge you. Confidence also grows through preparation and participation. Research the topics being discussed, voice your opinions with clarity, and remember that your perspective matters. Leadership isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about showing up, learning, and making meaningful contributions. Owning your space as a leader is about trusting your voice, embracing your role, and remembering that your presence is not only valid—it’s vital. #WomenInTech #Resilience #YouGotThis

You’ve earned your seat at the table. Yet sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way. And when this happens, impostor syndrome might be at play. Maybe you’ve experienced: ➡️ Rapid career advancement causing self-doubt about your qualifications. ➡️ Feeling inadequate because you're younger than your peers with the same title. ➡️ A toxic work environment fueling your self-doubt. ➡️ Frequent promotions making you feel undeserving. ➡️ Doubting your abilities when surrounded by brilliant colleagues. I have experienced each and every one of the above. I have felt like a fraud just waiting to be found out, wondering when my “big secret” would be revealed. And as a result, I balked at using my voice and letting myself be heard. It took me a long time to realize that I actually deserved all of my achievements, and that when I use my voice, I add value. That voice in your head aims to keep you in your comfort zone. It doesn't mean you're unqualified, undeserving, or destined to fail. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your impostor, one simple task you can take to counter it is to list all the times you achieved something you thought you couldn’t. I guarantee you that list will be much longer than you could ever imagine. You’ve earned your place and deserve to be where you are. Now, make your voice heard and inspire others to join you.

Don’t call it imposter syndrome if it’s actually exclusion. This will be an unpopular opinion, but I think self-doubt isn’t always a mindset issue. Sometimes, it’s a mirror of the room you’re in. You’re told to be more confident. To “put yourself out there.” To stop second-guessing. But no amount of journaling or TED Talks will fix a system that 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 wasn’t built for you:  • When you rarely see someone who looks like you in leadership…  • When your tone gets policed more than your ideas get heard…  • When you're the only one asked to “prove” your experience... That doubt you feel is not impostor syndrome. It’s data. It's a signal that you’ve been navigating spaces that haven’t made room for your voice, or have only welcomed it under conditions of assimilation. We’ve pathologized what is, in many cases, a rational response to exclusion. We’ve individualized a systemic problem. So yes, build your confidence. Yes, take up space. But let’s not put the full burden on the individual to overcome something that’s structural. The work isn’t just to 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 more legitimate. It’s to create environments where legitimacy isn’t so narrowly defined in the first place. Thoughts?  #personalbrand #womeninbusiness #leadership

Have you ever walked into a room full of leaders and felt like you were the only one doubting your place there? Why do we often feel that those who have "made it" never battle with the whispers of self-doubt or the chilling grip of imposter syndrome? Let me share a story. Early in my career, during a high-stakes meeting with potential investors, I felt completely out of place. I was surrounded by industry giants, each seemingly more confident and poised than the last. As I prepared to present, a voice in my head whispered, "You don’t belong here." But then I remembered something crucial—a lesson from my mentor: "Everyone feels out of place sometimes. The difference is that successful people remind themselves of their worth, again and again." This moment was a turning point. It wasn't about silencing the doubt but learning to speak louder than it. It’s like going to a new, fancy restaurant. You might not know the best dish to order, but you don't let that stop you from enjoying the meal. You ask questions, make your choice, and dive in, ready to savor the experience. Now, think about this: How often have you let imposter syndrome dictate your actions? How many opportunities might you have missed because you didn’t feel 'enough'? This is not just about fighting self-doubt; it’s about embracing and overcoming it. It's about understanding that everyone, no matter how successful, fights a battle with their inner critic at some point. The key is to recognize those feelings as a normal part of the growth process—not barriers, but stepping stones to remind yourself of your worth and capabilities. So, here’s a call to action for all of us, especially women and people of color who feel these pressures even more acutely due to societal expectations and systemic barriers: Next time you feel that nagging doubt, remember, you are not alone in this fight. Speak to yourself with the authority and compassion you would offer a dear friend. Remind yourself, "I am exactly where I need to be." Let's open up this conversation. How do you deal with feelings of imposter syndrome? What strategies have helped you claim your space and assert your worth? #Leadership #ImposterSyndrome #Empowerment #DiversityInLeadership #ProfessionalGrowth