Tips for Demonstrating Self-Awareness

One of the most dangerous things in leadership? Unaware toxicity. I’ve worked with executives who weren’t trying to be arrogant or controlling. They simply didn’t realize how their presence impacted others. According to Harvard Business Review, 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. That means most leaders are making decisions, managing teams, and shaping culture with unchecked blind spots. Self-awareness is a strategic advantage. It affects everything. Including how you negotiate, lead under pressure, relate to your team, and handle high-stakes decisions. Here’s something most leaders don’t know: When your emotional intensity hits a 7 out of 10 or higher, your logic drops, even if you’re excited or happy. That’s why emotional awareness is essential. So what does self-awareness actually mean? It means checking in with yourself before walking into a room. Noticing when your body is off, your tone is sharp, or your intentions are misaligned. It means recognizing the ripple effects your reactions have on everyone around you. And this is where the real damage gets done: Some leaders become aware of how they operate and still choose to manipulate. Those are the ones you need to remove from your company entirely. But for those who are willing to do the work? Self-awareness can transform everything. Where is where to start: 1. Interoceptive Awareness Practice sensing your heartbeat and breath during moments of stress. Track your physiological signals. The more aware you are of your internal state, the faster you can self-regulate. 2. Daily Debrief Ask: What emotion drove me today? Where was I reactive? What decisions felt misaligned? Go beyond surface-level journaling and get into emotional cause and effect. 3. Real Feedback Loops Ask peers, not just subordinates, for feedback. Build an environment where people can tell you how you actually come across. 4. Emotional Downshifting Name what you feel. Breathe. Anchor. It takes 60 seconds to shift out of limbic overdrive and into clarity. 5. Empathic Awareness Before your next meeting, ask yourself, “If I were them, how would I experience me right now?” That’s how trust is built in real-time. Self-awareness just might be the most powerful leadership skill of the next decade.

The first time I recognized how my emotions were affecting my leadership was during a challenging meeting with my team. I found myself getting defensive; my heart was racing, and my thinking clouded as two team members pushed back on our agenda. Rather than responding effectively, I mentally withdrew. This moment taught me a crucial lesson that would become the cornerstone of our Teams Learning Library's first capability: 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 & 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Research reveals that our brains are designed to have emotional responses before rational thinking kicks in. When a team member challenges us, our amygdala triggers a stress response in milliseconds—long before our prefrontal cortex can analyze what's happening. Through my research and experience developing the Teams Learning Library, I’ve discovered that team leaders who excel in self-awareness focus on three key dimensions: 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 - Recognizing your feelings as they arise, understanding their source, and choosing your response rather than reacting automatically 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 - Understanding how your personality and background shape your natural leadership style, and when that style helps or hinders your team 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 - Identifying specific situations that activate your stress response, and developing strategies to manage these moments When leaders lack self-awareness, teams pay the price. I've observed how unexamined triggers lead to inconsistent responses, team members feeling unsafe to share ideas, artificial harmony instead of productive conflict, and leadership that's reactive rather than intentional. As one leader told me: "I was constantly frustrated that my team avoided difficult conversations. It took me months to realize they were mirroring my own discomfort with conflict." The journey to greater self-awareness isn't always comfortable, but it's the foundation upon which all other leadership capabilities build. When you truly know yourself, you can lead with intention rather than reaction. What leadership trigger has been most challenging for you to manage? Share your experience in the comments. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n

True leadership is born from within. Before you can lead others, you must first master leading yourself. That journey starts with one critical element: self-awareness. Self-awareness is the foundation of all great leadership. When you understand your strengths, blind spots, and motivations, you're better equipped to guide others with authenticity and purpose. —-How to START building self-awareness—- 1.) Reflect Daily Take 5 minutes each day to ask yourself: What went well? What didn’t? Where did my actions align—or misalign—with my values? 2.) Seek Honest Feedback Ask your team and peers for insights about how you show up. Embrace the tough stuff. 3.) Recognize Your Emotional Triggers (we all have them) Pay attention to how you react under pressure. Self-regulation is key to keeping calm and leading with clarity. 4.) Own Your Growth Self-awareness isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a journey of continuous learning and improvement and you own yours. Couple of thoughts: 🔄 Avoiding self-reflection and feedback ↳ Stays stuck in comfort zone ↳ Misses growth opportunities ↳ Blind spots persist 🌱 Embracing self-awareness ↳ Continuous personal growth ↳ Authentic connections flourish ↳ Unlocks your full potential What’s one self-awareness practice that has worked for you?

There are two types of people: Those who think they’re self-aware. And those who actually are. The difference? One assumes. The other audits. (Only 10–15% of us are truly self-aware. The rest? We're winging it.) I know! Because I used to be the first. I thought reflection meant replaying conversations in my head. I thought self-awareness was knowing I worked too much. But I wasn’t asking deeper questions. I wasn’t noticing the tone I used when I felt unheard. Or the armor I wore when I felt uncertain. My turning point came during a season of overwhelm. Everything looked “fine” on the outside. But I was tired, reactive, and disconnected from the person I wanted to be. That’s when I got honest. Not just about what I was doing, but who I was being. Self-awareness isn’t a vibe. It’s a skill. Built through pause, pattern-recognition, and practice. It’s not just knowing your strengths. It’s owning your blind spots. It’s noticing the moment your voice sharpens, your shoulders tense, or your urge to control shows up. And instead of reacting? You choose, differently. Want to grow your self-awareness? Start here: 1. Ask: “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”  (Then listen without defending.) 2. Track your triggers this week.  What consistently gets under your skin?  That’s your cue, not their flaw. 3. Name your go-to deflection.  Do you joke? Blame? Over-explain?  Awareness starts by catching it in real time. Because here’s the truth: You can’t grow what you won’t name. You can’t shift what you won’t see. You can’t lead others well, if you haven’t done the work to lead yourself. 💭 What’s your take on self-awareness? (Source: TEDx, Dr. Tasha Eurich, 2017) 🔁 Share to help others grow 🔔 Follow me, Alinnette, for more on EQ-first leadership

95% of people claim to be self-aware. But only 10-15% of us actually fit the bill of what it means to be 'self-aware'. And for a long time, I was one of those people in the 95%. I'd blaze into the office, huffing and puffing because of something going on in my life, and sit in a meeting with a scowl on my face. Even though I knew exactly what was bothering me and why it was affecting me, I was missing one critical piece of the self-awareness puzzle. I didn't realize how I was coming off to others. I'd do my best to mask my bad mood, but I've realized that's completely the wrong approach to self-awareness. Being self-aware is not just about identifying how you're feeling but COMMUNICATING how you're feeling. Nowadays, I'll check in with myself on bad days and decide whether I'm in the right headspace to lead that meeting or take that client call, etc. When I can, I'm honest with the people around me about what's going on so that nobody reads into my reactions. Because if you don't clarify the context of your bad mood, people will expect that they are the cause of it. And that's the other part about being self-aware - knowing that everybody's only aware of themselves. So don't be the assh*le boss that puts everyone on edge.  Don't be the father who can't compartmentalize work stress when he's home.  Don't be the friend who is clearly in a bad mood but won't admit why. We can't be satisfied with just *believing* we're self-aware; we actually have to do something about it.