Key Lessons to Accelerate Personal Growth

Most leaders aren’t destroyed by others. They’re destroyed by themselves. Here is why? They think success is about being strategically brilliant... or experts in their field... And then they fail due to missing self-awareness. Years ago, I worked with a strong executive. Sharp mind. Strong resume. Great results on paper. But his team didn’t trust him. They gave minimal input. They avoided him in meetings. He thought it was all about them - laziness, lack of ambition, wrong culture fit. He couldn’t see that the problem was him, with his dismissive, reactive, and self-centered behaviour. That's when I saw how easily success blinds us. How quickly ego blocks awareness. And how fast people stop telling you the truth when you rise. My learning until today: Self-awareness is the foundation of leadership. Without it, every other skill is wasted. Here are 10 principles to build it daily: 1️⃣ Ask for brutal feedback Don’t fish for praise, invite truth. Growth begins where comfort ends. 2️⃣ Watch your impact, not just intent Good intentions can still hurt. Measure how others experience you. 3️⃣ Listen beyond words What’s unsaid is often more important. Pay attention to body language and silence. 4️⃣ Spot your triggers Stress exposes blind spots. Know what sets you off before it controls you. 5️⃣ Separate ego from role You are not your title. People follow authenticity, not hierarchy. 6️⃣ Reflect daily 5 minutes of honest reflection beats 5 hours of excuses. Ask: “How did I show up today?” 7️⃣ Own mistakes fast Excuses destroy trust. Admission builds it. 8️⃣ Notice recurring feedback If three people tell you the same thing - it’s not coincidence. It’s your blind spot showing. 9️⃣ Test your assumptions “I think they’re fine” is not a fact. Validate before acting. 🔟 Grow with humility Leaders who think they’ve arrived stop learning. Stay curious, stay open. When leaders master self-awareness, people stop working for you and start working with you. Because self-awareness builds trust - and trust builds everything else. Remember: You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself. The mirror is the hardest tool in leadership. Self-awareness isn’t soft. It’s the sharpest edge you can have. ‐---‐------------------------------- Follow me for more insights.

One of the most dangerous things in leadership? Unaware toxicity. I’ve worked with executives who weren’t trying to be arrogant or controlling. They simply didn’t realize how their presence impacted others. According to Harvard Business Review, 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. That means most leaders are making decisions, managing teams, and shaping culture with unchecked blind spots. Self-awareness is a strategic advantage. It affects everything. Including how you negotiate, lead under pressure, relate to your team, and handle high-stakes decisions. Here’s something most leaders don’t know: When your emotional intensity hits a 7 out of 10 or higher, your logic drops, even if you’re excited or happy. That’s why emotional awareness is essential. So what does self-awareness actually mean? It means checking in with yourself before walking into a room. Noticing when your body is off, your tone is sharp, or your intentions are misaligned. It means recognizing the ripple effects your reactions have on everyone around you. And this is where the real damage gets done: Some leaders become aware of how they operate and still choose to manipulate. Those are the ones you need to remove from your company entirely. But for those who are willing to do the work? Self-awareness can transform everything. Where is where to start: 1. Interoceptive Awareness Practice sensing your heartbeat and breath during moments of stress. Track your physiological signals. The more aware you are of your internal state, the faster you can self-regulate. 2. Daily Debrief Ask: What emotion drove me today? Where was I reactive? What decisions felt misaligned? Go beyond surface-level journaling and get into emotional cause and effect. 3. Real Feedback Loops Ask peers, not just subordinates, for feedback. Build an environment where people can tell you how you actually come across. 4. Emotional Downshifting Name what you feel. Breathe. Anchor. It takes 60 seconds to shift out of limbic overdrive and into clarity. 5. Empathic Awareness Before your next meeting, ask yourself, “If I were them, how would I experience me right now?” That’s how trust is built in real-time. Self-awareness just might be the most powerful leadership skill of the next decade.

True leadership is born from within. Before you can lead others, you must first master leading yourself. That journey starts with one critical element: self-awareness. Self-awareness is the foundation of all great leadership. When you understand your strengths, blind spots, and motivations, you're better equipped to guide others with authenticity and purpose. —-How to START building self-awareness—- 1.) Reflect Daily Take 5 minutes each day to ask yourself: What went well? What didn’t? Where did my actions align—or misalign—with my values? 2.) Seek Honest Feedback Ask your team and peers for insights about how you show up. Embrace the tough stuff. 3.) Recognize Your Emotional Triggers (we all have them) Pay attention to how you react under pressure. Self-regulation is key to keeping calm and leading with clarity. 4.) Own Your Growth Self-awareness isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a journey of continuous learning and improvement and you own yours. Couple of thoughts: 🔄 Avoiding self-reflection and feedback ↳ Stays stuck in comfort zone ↳ Misses growth opportunities ↳ Blind spots persist 🌱 Embracing self-awareness ↳ Continuous personal growth ↳ Authentic connections flourish ↳ Unlocks your full potential What’s one self-awareness practice that has worked for you?

There are two types of people: Those who think they’re self-aware. And those who actually are. The difference? One assumes. The other audits. (Only 10–15% of us are truly self-aware. The rest? We're winging it.) I know! Because I used to be the first. I thought reflection meant replaying conversations in my head. I thought self-awareness was knowing I worked too much. But I wasn’t asking deeper questions. I wasn’t noticing the tone I used when I felt unheard. Or the armor I wore when I felt uncertain. My turning point came during a season of overwhelm. Everything looked “fine” on the outside. But I was tired, reactive, and disconnected from the person I wanted to be. That’s when I got honest. Not just about what I was doing, but who I was being. Self-awareness isn’t a vibe. It’s a skill. Built through pause, pattern-recognition, and practice. It’s not just knowing your strengths. It’s owning your blind spots. It’s noticing the moment your voice sharpens, your shoulders tense, or your urge to control shows up. And instead of reacting? You choose, differently. Want to grow your self-awareness? Start here: 1. Ask: “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”  (Then listen without defending.) 2. Track your triggers this week.  What consistently gets under your skin?  That’s your cue, not their flaw. 3. Name your go-to deflection.  Do you joke? Blame? Over-explain?  Awareness starts by catching it in real time. Because here’s the truth: You can’t grow what you won’t name. You can’t shift what you won’t see. You can’t lead others well, if you haven’t done the work to lead yourself. 💭 What’s your take on self-awareness? (Source: TEDx, Dr. Tasha Eurich, 2017) 🔁 Share to help others grow 🔔 Follow me, Alinnette, for more on EQ-first leadership

For years, I found myself stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. Whether it was a tech genius, a successful entrepreneur, or a charismatic leader, I'd encounter people who seemed to operate on a different level. Their achievements felt unreachable, and I couldn't plot a course from where I was to where they were. This pattern repeated itself too many times to count. Each instance left me feeling more discouraged and less capable. But through these repeated “failures” to chart my path, I stumbled upon a crucial realization: I was asking the wrong questions and setting the wrong goals. This epiphany transformed my approach to personal and professional growth. Here's what I've learned: 1️⃣ Compare yourself only to your best day so far, not to others. 2️⃣ Recognize that growth is a slow, long-term process. You can't compare your current situation to someone else's culmination of years of hard work, luck, and privilege. 3️⃣ To grow effectively: Define your destination, create a detailed plan, work to make your plan real, refine your destination and plan as needed. Remember: If you do it right, one day someone might look at you the same way you once looked at others. 🔑 Key Takeaway: Don't just share what you do; teach others how to see the world as you do. This approach can help break the cycle of intimidation and comparison.

A few years ago, I felt stuck. Despite working hard, progress felt sluggish. Then someone asked me: “When was the last time you reflected on what’s working and what’s not?” I froze. Reflection wasn’t part of my routine—I was too busy “doing.” That moment changed everything. I started carving out time each month to pause and reflect. The results? Clarity, growth, and a renewed sense of direction. Here’s the simple process I follow: 1. Celebrate wins. ↳Big or small, list what you’ve achieved. ↳Progress often hides in the little victories. 2. Identify challenges. ↳What didn’t go as planned? ↳Be honest but constructive. 3. Extract lessons. ↳Ask yourself: What worked? ↳What didn’t? ↳What can I improve? 4. Adjust your goals. ↳Refine your next steps based on your insights. Reflection isn’t about looking back with regret, It’s about learning to move forward smarter. It’s like cleaning the windshield before hitting the road again. PS. How often do you take time to reflect on your goals? #PersonalGrowth #Reflection #BusinessCoach