How to Use Vulnerability for Personal Growth

What Does True Strength Look Like? Is it the ability to command a room, to always project confidence, or to lead without hesitation? For years, I believed that strength meant showing no vulnerability—projecting an image of invincibility at all times. This belief was particularly strong early in my career, during my time at Drexel Burnham in the late 1980s. Back then, it was an era defined by the “Masters of the Universe” mentality, where power, control, and unwavering confidence ruled the day. Vulnerability, in that world, was seen as a liability. As time went on, my perspective began to shift. Beyond being a girl dad and family man, engaging with accomplished entrepreneurs and Family Office leaders revealed a crucial truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Acknowledging imperfections often lays the groundwork for deeper trust, meaningful connections, and authentic leadership. This understanding didn’t happen overnight. Influenced by years of experience and thinkers like Brené Brown, I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t about exposing flaws—it’s about having the courage to be real. Authenticity fosters trust and collaboration, particularly in environments where trust is the foundation of success. In the Family Office world, relationships often matter as much as strategy. Admitting you don’t have all the answers allows others to see your humanity, strengthening bonds and creating enduring partnerships. Vulnerability shows the courage to step beyond ego and embrace openness, driving progress. It’s not just about admitting what you don’t know—it’s about showing humanity in ways that inspire and empower others. Sharing personal stories of failure can transform relationships, turning mistakes into lessons that encourage risk-taking without fear of judgment. Admitting emotional struggles—whether it’s gratitude for a team’s support or moments of being overwhelmed—fosters empathy and reminds others that even leaders face challenges. Vulnerability also thrives in asking for feedback—not as a formality but as a genuine desire to grow. Leaders who value unfiltered feedback empower their teams to speak openly, creating a culture where ideas thrive without fear of hierarchy. If I could offer one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be to embrace vulnerability in all its forms. Sharing your authentic self—whether by admitting challenges, seeking help, or expressing gratitude—encourages others to do the same. It creates a culture of respect, trust, and collaboration, where people feel valued and empowered. True leadership isn’t about projecting invincibility. It’s about inspiring through connection, authenticity, and trust. Vulnerability redefines strength—not as perfection but as the courage to show up, embrace challenges, and connect deeply with others. It’s one of the greatest strengths we can offer in business, relationships, and life.

The strength they never taught you about: Strategic Vulnerability. "Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage," as Brené Brown wisely noted. I don't think she realized how much corporate America would misunderstand those words. Too many leaders hear "vulnerability" and think: • Emotional dumping • Oversharing personal struggles • Being "soft" when you should be "strong" But what if vulnerability is actually a strategic advantage? Research from the Kellogg School of Management found that leaders who admit their flaws are rated 22% more effective in leadership capability than those who try to appear flawless. Let me reframe this for you: Strategic vulnerability isn't weakness. It's precision strength. It's knowing exactly when to: • Say "I don't know, but I'll find out" • Admit a mistake before it becomes someone else's problem • Share relevant challenges that humanize you without compromising your authority • Ask for help instead of drowning silently When I coach executives, their biggest fear is often: "If I show vulnerability, I'll lose respect." Here is what my 30+ years of leadership experience has taught me: "People never follow perfect leaders. They follow authentic ones who make it safe for everyone to bring their full, imperfect selves to work." The most powerful words in leadership aren't "I have all the answers." They're "I hear you." "I made a mistake." "I need your help." "I trust you with this." This doesn't mean exposing every doubt or fear. That's not strategy. That's a diary entry. Strategic vulnerability is purposeful, contextual, and measured. It's about building what psychologist Amy Edmondson calls "psychological safety." This is especially crucial for creating truly inclusive environments where underrepresented voices, including LGBTQ+ team members, feel valued and heard. When leaders model appropriate vulnerability, they give everyone permission to: • Take smart risks • Speak uncomfortable truths • Challenge outdated thinking • Bring their full brilliance to work Question for you: What's one way you could practice strategic vulnerability with your team this week? Is there a mistake you could acknowledge? A question you could ask? A truth you could speak? Share below. I'm learning alongside you. For more on radical kindness and strategic vulnerability in leadership, connect with me for upcoming workshops and coaching availability. In Community and Conversation, Jim

I ugly cried in a bathroom stall at work. This isn’t just my story; it's a common tale among many, particularly female leaders. It's the moment when the façade of strength crumbles. It's hidden behind a closed door, where our vulnerability and humanity peek through. Our reality is sometimes a tangle of impossible standards and contradictions. This is where Radical Softness comes in. It's a leadership game-changer. It's about showing your emotions, not as a weakness but as a strength. Sounds counterintuitive. But it's the truth. Vulnerability isn't just brave; it's transformative. It also fosters loyalty and deep trust within your team. Back in 2004, I learned this the hard way. Fresh out of college, in my first "real" job, I faced a customer's wrath for being late due to traffic. She screamed - loudly, saying how terrible of an employee I was. She publicly berated me for nearly 20 minutes. Once she left, emotions washed over me. Instead of receiving support, my boss humiliated me with a reprimand. A company-wide message that spotlighted my 'failure' was sent out. Defeated and embarrassed, I found refuge in a bathroom stall. I cried my heart out. This moment, though painful, was a profound turning point. It taught me about the intense pressure we face to suppress our emotions. I was taught to be stone-cold, silent, and inauthentic. I never trusted that manager again.  Being vulnerable was something I had to reteach myself. Here's how radical softness can become your greatest asset in leadership: 1. Normalize Emotions: Stop seeing emotions as obstacles. They're powerful tools that can elevate your leadership in the following ways:  -Enhanced Emotional Intelligence -Improved Mental Health -Stronger Relationships -Increased Resilience 2. Be Brave, Be Vulnerable: Open up about your fears and insecurities. This honesty creates a safe space for your team to do the same. I wish I dared to express how I felt and show that it's okay to be affected by harsh words or unfair treatment. 3. Embrace Authenticity: Be unapologetically you. Your team knows when you're real, and authenticity is your greatest asset. Pretending to be unaffected doesn't make you a better leader; being genuine does. 4. Empower Others: Foster an environment where your team feels comfortable expressing their emotions. Remember, empathy works both ways. If I had a leader who encouraged emotional openness, my experience might have been less scarring. We can redefine leadership. We can be strong, soft, assertive, and empathetic leaders and learners. We don't need to twist ourselves into knots to fit outdated expectations. To those who've spent time in a bathroom crying, go easy on yourself. It's ok to feel. #ProductDesign #Leadership #WomenInTech