Tips for Overcoming Boundary Setting Challenges

✨No is a complete sentence.✨ 🤔 So why does it feel so hard to say? For many Women of Color, setting boundaries at work and with family often feels like walking a tightrope. Between cultural expectations, the pressure to overperform, and the emotional labor of supporting others, it’s easy to put your needs last. But here’s the truth: boundaries are an act of self-preservation—and they’re non-negotiable. As we roll into the season of holidays and "Let's finish out Q4 strong!" here are a few tips that I hope support your boundaries and honor your needs too. 1. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 Your value is not derived from how productive you are or what you do for others. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 In some cultures, boundaries are viewed as confrontational or selfish. Reframe them for yourself and others as acts of love and sustainability. 3. 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁. Rest and joy are acts of resistance in a world that often expects you to overwork. 4. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 & 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 Speak assertively but with warmth to navigate cultural or workplace dynamics that may resist boundary-setting. 5. 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 Setting boundaries may disappoint or surprise others, especially if they’re used to you being the go-to person. That's OK—your needs are just as important as theirs. 6. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 Start with smaller steps to ease your transition into setting boundaries and protecting your energy. 7. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries. 8. 𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼 (𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆) “No” doesn’t have to mean a hard stop. Offer alternatives when possible to remain aligned with your values. What other tips would you add? Share them in the comments. 🧡 ♻️ Repost to share with others. _______________________________________________________________ Struggling with boundaries in work and life? I can help. Setup time to chat here: https://lnkd.in/gPGdqta6

Tired of feeling used? Here's how to take back your power... Ever feel like no matter how much you give, you’re just getting taken for granted? I’ve been there. For most of my life, I've had a habit of doing favors for others, thinking it was necessary to strengthen relationships, driven by an overdeveloped and, you might say, dysfunctional sense of duty. But here’s the truth: “No good deed goes unpunished.” I decided enough was enough. It became time to kill off my inner voice that compelled me to always assist, to always feel guilty when I didn't. Here’s how I overhauled my mindset to reclaim my freedom, abandoning a self-defeating sense of duty: 🟢 I prioritized myself first This isn't about being selfish. It's a call to action to stop putting others’ needs above your own. Your time and energy are valuable. 🟢 I set clear boundaries This is a core philosophy I preach: Learn to say "No" without feeling guilty. You can say "no" in many ways without sounding harsh, but the key part of the message should include "no" or a synonym each time. And there's no need to be wordy. Plain sentences work best. Remember that boundaries aren’t walls—they’re clear lines that show others how to treat us. 🟢 I valued my time When you help someone it should be worth your while. If it’s not mutually beneficial, it’s okay to walk away. 🟢 Cultivate mutual respect Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and value your contributions. Relationships are built on mutual support, not one-sided favors. 🟢 Focus on quality over quantity It’s better to have a few meaningful connections than countless superficial ones. 🟢 Let go of guilt Feeling guilty for not helping someone is unnecessary. Your primary responsibility is to yourself and your own goals. The result? ✔ Increased productivity. With clear boundaries, I can focus on what truly matters. ✔ Stronger relationships. Mutual respect has strengthened my connections. ✔ Greater freedom. No longer chained by as many obligations, I’m free to pursue my passions and dreams. Final thoughts... Life is too short to be weighed down by endless favors and unreciprocated efforts. Take control. Set boundaries. Value your time. Your future self will thank you. ♻ to your network. Tap the 🔔 for more.

Here's the thing about boundaries at work: If you're treating your boss, your work bestie, and the barista at your local coffee shop exactly the same when it comes to boundaries, we need to talk! I see this ALL the time with my clients (and my friends) where people think boundary-setting is about being consistent across the board. But that's actually missing the point entirely. Your ability to adjust these settings based on who you're dealing with isn't being fake or wishy-washy. It's being relationally intelligent (and it's a skill that can make or break your personal and professional effectiveness). Here's what I keep seeing...Too many of us get stuck in the boundary extremes where we either build this massive wall around ourselves that keeps EVERYONE out, or we're basically an open book with zero filters for anyone who walks into our workspace. Neither approach works! Think of boundaries more like those privacy settings on your social media. You wouldn't give your mom and your CEO the same level of access, right? (Hi Nancy Erlanger Feller!!!) When you get good at calibrating your boundaries, people feel more comfortable around you because they know what to expect. You're not oversharing with someone who just wants to get work done, and you're not being unnecessarily cold with someone who values connection. Want to get better at this? Here's where to start: 1. Do a relationship audit: Look at your work relationships and ask yourself—what level of personal sharing actually makes sense here? Your lunch buddy probably gets different access than your skip-level manager. 2. Start with the gradient approach: Share the small stuff first (weekend plans, favorite coffee order) and see how it lands before diving into the deeper personal territory. 3. Check in with yourself regularly: Every few months, ask: "Are my boundaries still working for me and this relationship?" Sometimes what felt right six months ago needs an update. #boundaries #emotionalintelligence #leadership https://lnkd.in/eDSYwpVW

WednesdayQ&A “I often give others a lot more than I give to myself. I always try to help, and requests never finish. Everyone asks me for something, and I try to help, but I feel exhausted and overwhelmed because I don't have enough time for my own stuff. How can I stop accommodating the requests without hurting relationships?” It sounds like you haven’t established clear boundaries, and it’s something many people struggle with. Setting boundaries is essential to protecting your time and energy, both in your personal and professional life. Start by asking yourself: Where do I want my boundaries to be? Why do I find it hard to say no? Is it because I fear disappointing others or because I feel validated by being needed? Understanding your patterns is the first step. Next, communicate your boundaries—because people won’t know them unless you share them. A great way to start a conversation without confrontation is using a method I’ve learned from Rob Dial. Ask permission: “Can I talk to you about something?”Most likely, people will respond positively. Then, calmly say, “I’m going to be honest.” This creates a respectful space to share your needs, like: “I’ve realized I’ve been overextending myself and need to focus more on my priorities. I’ll still help when I can, but I might not always be available immediately. I hope you understand.” Boundaries are not one-time declarations—you may need to remind people from time to time gently. That’s okay! Teaching others how to treat you takes consistency. To live a fulfilling life, you need to protect your energy and make time for what truly matters to you. Remember, saying no to someone else is often saying yes to yourself. #boundaries #sayingno #loveyourlife