How to Build Stronger Relationships Through Reflective Thinking

You do it. I’ve done it.  We need to stop. Last year, I was doing some self-reflection. I wanted to improve my conversations. The answer came, "Stop being defensive." Wait, what? I did not feel like I was? I looked a bit closer and started to see opportunity to change and get better. You’ve seen the sign but ignore it. Warning: “Do Not Escalate” Why do your conversations sometimes go sidewise? Let's talk about the art of staying grounded. Why does the choice not to be defensive matter? I’m not talking about the stomp-your-foot talk or the angry and strong response talk. → I’m talking about the subtle defensiveness we all do.  It can often start with an innocent response. You share an idea, a thought, a help, and it lands wrong.  → We want to straighten it out.  → Correct them, if you will.  Watch out for that. Maybe, don’t do that.  Here's what you don't need: 1. Communication that unnecessarily escalates conflicts. 2. A mindset that blocks understanding and empathy. 3. An attitude that damages relationships over time. Three Stop Signs You Should Heed: 1. Stop defending every stance you hold.  2. Stop letting defensiveness hinder your communication.  3. Stop allowing defensiveness to strain your relationships.  Choosing not to defend every stance will transform conflicts into conversations. → It's about picking your battles wisely. Want to let go of being defensive? Here's what you do need: 1. Openness to listen without immediate judgment. 2. Patience to let the moment pass and respond when the time is right. 3. Courage to address misunderstandings with clarity, perhaps later. Embrace the Power of Pause: → Give space for dialogue to flourish. → Allow empathy to bridge gaps. Benefits Await: → Discover a new level of dialogue that fosters understanding. → Build stronger, more resilient personal and professional bonds. → Encourage an environment where growth and learning are nurtured. Three Action Steps to Non-Defensive Communication: Practice active listening. → Hear the message, not just the words. 2. Reflect before you react. → Is this a moment for silence or speech? 3. Choose clarity over confrontation. → Seek to understand, then to be understood. How do you keep yourself from being defensive? Like this content? Ring the 🔔 to Follow ♻️ Repost to share

The power of relationships can be a multiplier in life... and your career is no exception. Who you know often trumps what you know... and at the executive level, fit-and-finish (as it's referred to amongst headhunters) quite often tips the scale over an above pedigree. So, how do you become better at building relationships? Not just transactionally connecting and networking, but truly building the bonds of trust and going an "inch wide, mile deep" with another human. Curiosity is the true superpower here. While I believe it's more innate from some than others... I also believe we ALL have the ability to build the muscle. One simple shift to start is the move from agreement to insight. Try this in your next few conversations... when you find yourself responding to what someone else says with "I agree," "I disagree," or the equivalent... Slow down and get curious. Instead, maybe ask... "That's an interesting take. I'm curious, have you always looked at things that way?" "That's a powerful perspective. Do you ever find you get friction when you..." Get creative here. Have fun! This is less about having a canned response than it is to slow down in the moment and ask a deeper question. You'll not only be amazed by what you learn but how it sets the conditions for a deeper with another human being. #relationshipbuilding #executivecoaching #insights

Just because I don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean I don’t want to foster a good relationship with them. But when differences of opinion are strong, when it’s hard to discuss a topic without stirring up friction, or when the topic is one that’s highly charged with emotion, how do we engage in authentic discussion without being sucked into a damaging disagreement?    As my good friend and colleague Dave Berke says, I try to “engage without engaging” by asking, “Tell me more about how you came to that view.”   This simple comment shows respect and shows that I’m listening. It builds the relationship by moving the conversation forward with an earnest interest in learning about the other person while at the same time shifting the focus off the point of the conversation that may just create conflict.   Rather than ending up in an argument, keep an open mind and focus on maintaining the relationship.   #conflictmanagement #leadershipmindset