How to Choose the Right Mentor in Engineering

Tried finding a mentor and got crickets? It's probably not you, it's the system. We've all heard the hype – find a great mentor, change your life. But the reality? Finding someone who's the right fit, available, and truly invested in you can feel like searching for a unicorn. The problem is, we're often sold this idea that mentorship is about finding that one perfect, all-knowing person to guide our journey. But what if there was a better way? A way that empowers you and puts your growth in the driver's seat? 🔑 Forget the 'perfect' mentor. Focus on the dynamic. Instead of chasing an elusive mentor ideal, shift your focus to building a mentorship dynamic. This means finding people slightly ahead of you on your chosen path, who are willing to share their knowledge and insights. 🔑 Why this speeds up your growth: ▶ Targeted knowledge: They've recently faced the challenges you're facing now. Their solutions are fresh and relevant. ▶ Mutual benefit: As a mentee, you offer value too! Your questions and fresh perspective make them rethink their own process. ▶ Less intimidating: They're closer to your level, making it easier to connect and be honest about your challenges. 🤔 So, how do you actually make this happen? 🔑 Seek out the sharers: Look for people doing podcasts, writing articles, or being active in their industry community. These are the people genuinely interested in passing knowledge forward. The Mentorship Cycle: 1. Reach out with a specific question demonstrating you value their expertise. 2. Listen intently, then TAKE ACTION on their advice. 3. Report back! Share your results, whether successful or not. This shows respect and helps them refine their advice. 4. Ask a new, deeper question. Rinse and repeat! This is growth on your terms. By building a reciprocal mentorship dynamic, you take control. You learn proactively, gain confidence from action, and create mutually beneficial relationships that can evolve over time. 🍿 The creative boost you didn't see coming 🍿 This approach isn't just about knowledge transfer or career growth – it's a catalyst for your creativity! Here's why: Busting out of your bubble: Connecting with someone outside your usual circle exposes you to new ways of thinking, sparking fresh ideas. Action fuels inspiration: Taking action on their advice, then seeing results, reinforces your belief in your own ability to create and problem-solve. Accountability breeds output: Knowing you'll be reporting back creates a healthy pressure to actually execute on those ideas, not just let them linger. This mentorship dynamic isn't a replacement for those times when you might need in-depth guidance from a seasoned expert. But for day-to-day growth, overcoming creative hurdles, and building momentum, it's a surprisingly powerful tool. 🙅♂️ Tip of the day: Tag someone that you want to build a mentor relationship with in the comments.

Harsh truth about mentors: Only 37% of professionals have one. The rest are leaving their career to luck. I just had a career-changing conversation with my twin daughters still in college. Here's what most people get wrong: They look for title instead of traits. The chase status instead of substance. They want connections instead of transformation. Here are the 7 non-negotiable traits of career-defining mentors (that nobody talks about): 🎯 1. Unwavering passion for your purpose ↳ Celebrate your wins like they're their own ↳ Invest time without paying attention to the clock ↳ Red flag: If they talk more about their goals than yours 🎧 2. World-class listening skills ↳ Hear what you don't say ↳ Connect dots across conversations ↳ Make you feel deeply understood ↳ Red flag: If they interrupt with "similar" stories ⚡ 3. Perfect blend of push and pull ↳ Stretch your thinking ↳ Hold you accountable ↳ Refuse to let you play small ↳ Red flag: If they never challenge your assumptions 🌍 4. Cultural intelligence that adapts ↳ Understand your unique context ↳ Flex their style to meet your needs ↳ Build bridges across differences ↳ Red flag: If they give one-size-fits-all advice 🤝 5. Trustworthiness as their foundation ↳ Protect your confidentiality like a vault ↳ Never overpromise or underdeliver ↳ Create safety for real conversations ↳ Red flag: If they gossip about others ❓ 6. Questions that expand your mind ↳ Ask what you're avoiding ↳ Help you discover your own answers ↳ Transform your thinking, not just your actions ↳ Red flag: If they only give direct advice 📋 7. Crystal clear expectations ↳ Set boundaries on communication ↳ Define what success looks like ↳ Create structured plans for growth ↳ Red flag: If they're vague about availability Hard truth? The wrong mentor wastes time (and money). But the wrong mentor can actually sabotage your career. The right mentor doesn't just change what you know. They transform who you become. Choose wisely. Your future self will thank you. ========================= ⁉️ What's the best or worst mentor advice you've received? 💡Tag someone who shows these traits ♻️ Share to help others avoid mentor mistakes 👉 Follow me for more like this (Eric Arzubi, MD).

The best mentors won't find you, You have to find them. My core values for career development: • Ownership - Taking responsibility for your growth • Courage - Moving through discomfort for what matters • Reciprocity - Creating value, not just taking it What I can't stand is seeing people wait for career opportunities while mistaking passivity for patience. Here's how to ask potential mentors (without feeling awkward): 1/ Be direct about your goals Don't beat around the bush. Tell them exactly what you need. "I was promoted to senior engineer and want to level up my systems architecture skills. Would you be willing to mentor me?" 2/ Tell them why you chose them People appreciate knowing what drew you to them specifically, showing you’ve done your homework. "I'm reaching out because of your experience leading engineering teams at high-growth startups." 3/ Start with a small ask Don't request a long-term commitment right away. "Would you be open to a 30-minute video call to connect?" 4/ Be gracious if rejected Sometimes people don't have bandwidth. That's okay. "I understand you have significant demands on your time." 5/ Ask for alternatives If they decline, their network might be your next opportunity. "Is there anyone you'd recommend I connect with instead?" 6/ Approach with the right mindset Confidence in your goals. Respect for their time. Gratitude for their expertise. I've seen too many careers stall because of fear of rejection. But I promise: The temporary discomfort of reaching out is nothing compared to the permanent pain of career stagnation. Stop waiting for the perfect mentor to appear. Make the first move today. What strategies have worked for you when finding mentors? Image Credit: GraciousQuotes --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.