Tips for Learning from Influential Mentors

Last week, my son, a college freshman, had his first meeting with his mentor. Imagine my surprise when he sought my advice ;) — I guess parents are worth something after all 😁 It's a significant milestone, and it got me thinking about the essence of effective mentoring given my own experience as a mentor and mentee. While there's an abundance of literature on this topic, including a recent piece by Harvard Business Review, many tend to skim the surface, offering broad, somewhat simplistic advice. Reflecting on this, I penned down some tailored guidance, which I believe might be valuable to others embarking on this journey. Here's what I shared: 1. Embrace the art of listening: Your first meeting is more about tuning in than speaking out. Show a genuine interest in your mentor's narrative. Inquire about their professional voyage - how it began, the decisions they navigated, and the turning points. 2. Seek wisdom, not just facts: Ask about the lessons they've learned along the way. What would they do differently if they could rewind the clock? Their hindsight can become your foresight. 3. Prepare, Prepare and then Prepare more: Before seeking advice on specific decisions like program selection, job opportunities, or electives, make sure you've done your homework. Understanding your own choices deeply enriches the conversation and the guidance you receive. 4. Explore beyond academics: Ask about the activities they engaged in outside their formal education or job that propelled their career - be it internships, part-time roles, additional courses, or club memberships. Understanding their strategies and how these choices shaped their path can offer practical steps for your own journey. In my own experience, a long term relationship with your mentor can be rewarding for both and has the potential to be truly transformative. What are some other non-obvious tips for speaking to your mentor/mentee? I’d love to hear your thoughts. #mentorship #relationships #student #learning #mentors

To recent grads / young professionals... When you're early in your career, one of your superpowers is the ability to be a learning machine and build relationships with mentors. You can reach out to almost anyone you'd like to contact and ask people for their time to learn from them. To do this well, you need to be intentional, thoughtful, prepared, and great at following up and following through. - Intentional. You have a list of people you want to learn from and build relationships with. If you reach out directly, that's fine, but the stakes are higher for a thoughtful message. It's easy to think that people are too busy and they won't respond to you -- but that's wrong. It's still a numbers game, most won't, but you can get to more people than you imagine if you're thoughtful and politely persistent in your outreach. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Thoughtful. This is simple... don't send a general advice email. You want to be distinct. The good news is anyone can stand out, it just requires doing a little more work to be thoughtful and clear. Share specifics why you'd like to learn from the person, and how that overlaps with what you're passionate about. And of course, make it concise. - Prepared. Once you get a call or meeting... awesome! Be prepared with thoughtful questions, your story, and what you're curious/passionate about. If not, the person you're meeting with will notice the lack of preparedness. And while people won't say this to you directly -- not being prepared is lazy. Being prepared shows you care and that you're serious about the person's time and about your personal learning/development, which people will respect. - Follow up and follow through. Because you took notes, you have information to follow up and follow through on. If you say you're going to do X, do it! When you make a commitment, even if it seems small or insignificant, follow up on it. "Do what you say you'll do" is one of the best mantras to live out early in your career. And always send a thank you. Even if it's email -- send a thoughtful, concise thanks. A written note is above and beyond because it requires extra work and is distinct. Up to you how creative you want to be here. In summary, you have the choice to do way more than you might think you're capable of when it comes to learning from others and building relationships. If you're intentional, prepared, thoughtful, and you follow up/follow through -- you will gain extraordinary learnings and spark serendipity. The best part is that anyone can do this stuff -- if they want to. Take small steps, be resilient when you hear "no" or nothing, and know that people WILL believe in you and support you.

The advice of someone three or five or ten years ahead of you is critical if you want to know where the high leverage opportunities (and also landmines) are. Four ways to maximize the value of a mentorship: 1. Lead with value. Want a long term relationship? Figure out how you can add value to the mentor also. Maybe it’s a book you read, podcast you discovered, or inefficiency you noticed and can help them solve. 2. Show up prepared. Bring pen, paper, and good questions to any lunch or coffee. 3. Be ready to execute. Whatever advice you get, act on it. Or be ready to lose the relationship. Good mentors don’t have time to give to people who won’t act. 4. Follow up. Let your mentor know what you tried, what worked, and what didn’t. Maybe the issue was the advice… maybe it was your execution… work with them to figure this out.