Navigating Criticism as a Woman in Tech

Have you ever experienced workplace bullying that threatened your career prospects, not from your direct supervisor, but from someone who wielded significant influence over your professional future? Someone who had your boss's ear and used that access as leverage? I have. Twice, at two different organizations. And it gets worse. One of those bullies led HR, so seeking HR support was not an option for me. Female-on-female workplace aggression is real, and it's time we talk about it. This isn't about pitting women against each other, it's about addressing a pattern that undermines us all. There are so many reasons this happens. These are the ones that I hear most often:: ➡️ Scarcity mindset in male-dominated industries ➡️ Internalized competition for limited "women's spots" ➡️ Pressure to prove themselves by distancing from other women ➡️ Generational differences in workplace navigation Here are 5 steps you can take to address female-on-female workplace conflicts: ✅ Recognize the patterns such as exclusion from meetings, undermining in front of male colleagues, withholding information, or public criticism disguised as "feedback." ✅ Document professional interactions by keeping records of missed opportunities, excluded communications, or instances where credit was redirected. ✅ Address it directly first by having a private conversation: "I noticed I wasn't included in the client meeting. Can we discuss how to ensure better communication moving forward?" ✅ Build bridges, not walls, by actively mentoring junior women and celebrate colleagues' successes. Model the behavior you want to see. ✅ If direct communication fails and the behavior continues, it may be necessary to escalate the situation by involving HR or management with your documentation. My friend Maria (name changed for privacy reasons), is a senior developer who came to me a few weeks ago because her female team lead consistently dismissed her technical suggestions in meetings but praised identical ideas when presented by male colleagues. After documenting several instances, Maria requested a private meeting with her lead to discuss communication styles. When the behavior continued, she escalated to their manager with specific examples, leading to productive mediation and improved team dynamics. Here's the thing. We rise by lifting each other up, not by tearing each other down. When we address these dynamics openly, we create stronger, more supportive workplaces for all women. What strategies have helped you navigate challenging relationships with female colleagues? #WomenInWorkplace #ProfessionalDevelopment #WorkplaceDynamics #FemaleLeadership #CareerGrowth #WorkplaceCulture #WomenSupportingWomen #ConflictResolution

"It actually doesn't take much to be considered a difficult woman. That's why there are so many of us." This quote by Jane Goodall, renowned British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace, has always stood out to me. Even though Jane and I work in entirely different sectors, her experience and reflection on what it means to be a woman really resonated with me. As a female leader in the tech world, I am often unsure of “how to show up.” I’m sure there are countless other women (and men!) who’ve probably wondered that too. While there are many upsides to having more choices in the roles we play in society, throwing out the strict rulebook we used to be forced to play by has left many of us struggling to figure out new norms and expectations. Even though workplaces are rolling out DEI initiatives, women are still under pressure to deconstruct historical narratives and counter the norms of who we are, and how we are expected to act. Historically, women and men who challenged traditional roles faced criticism. Consequently, women are working upstream against years, even decades of gender bias. It can be disorienting to determine how to “show up” and lead effectively, knowing that your actions and communication style are subject to the whims of bias around you. So what can we do? I’ve found it is important to lean in and show up the way we think is right, trusting that we can bring others along with us, rather than trying to guess and adapt how we show up. Here are some ideas: - Try mentoring a colleague who shares similar experiences but can learn from how you’ve navigated them. This helps us feel seen and heard, and a little less alone in our struggles. - In meetings, I always listen carefully and over-explain if I need to because I want my messages to be heard as intended. This is critical to creating safe spaces where ideas can be exchanged. - You can also choose to work with companies that are intentional about identifying and correcting for unconscious bias. You can work exclusively with vendors who show diversity among their leadership teams (let me plug Seeq for a second: our executive leadership team is roughly 50/50 female/male, with representation from many ethnicities - facts I’m personally very proud of, especially working in the tech space!). Let’s be our authentic selves. Building community, belonging, and allyship so that our reasoning and stories are heard and we can collectively celebrate our successes.

Ever leave a feedback conversation feeling like you got nothing concrete? “You’re doing great, just keep it up.” It sounds positive. But it’s a red flag. What it really means: They’re not seeing your growth. They’re not invested in your next step. They’re not championing you when it matters. If you’re a woman in tech trying to break through, this kind of feedback can quietly stall your career. Here’s what I learned after decades at Microsoft and AWS: You can’t wait for leaders to notice your potential. You have to make it impossible to ignore. Here’s how to take control: 1. Make your impact visible. Don’t assume people know what you’re contributing. Share results in the right rooms. 2. Seek out leaders who drive change. Build relationships with people who can see beyond your current role and advocate for your growth. 3. Own your narrative. Document your wins and connect them to business outcomes. Don’t wait for someone else to tell your story. If your manager can’t imagine you in a bigger role, find someone who can. You don’t need permission to step forward. You need a strategy. ✳️ Has “keep doing what you’re doing” ever held you back? I’d love to hear your story. ♻️ Repost to help someone in need 📌 Follow me for daily career tips

Lately, I've been hearing more and more stories from Black & Brown women working in tech who have been receiving bad performance reviews & PIPs out of nowhere. Historically, this has been a tactic to push us out. And here’s why it keeps happening: 🔹 Many managers lack leadership training & don’t know how to manage people. 🔹 For some, it’s their first time working with Black & Brown women—ever. 🔹 Outside of work, most people’s closest friends look like them—so their experience with us is limited. When discomfort meets inexperience, we get bad reviews instead of real, consistent, quality feedback. So if you're building a career in this space, you need to be proactive. 👉🏾 Here are 3 ways to protect yourself: 1️⃣ Set & Reset Expectations – Manage up. Make sure you & your manager are aligned on goals, expectations, and how they’re supporting you. 2️⃣ Ask for Quality Feedback – Not just “How’d I do?” but: 🔹 Was XYZ effective? 🔹 What should I do more/less of? 🔹 What’s one thing I can improve on? 3️⃣ Keep Receipts – Save emails, document 1:1s, and check policies on recording conversations so you have proof if needed. At the end of the day, we have to advocate for ourselves—because no one else will. 💡 Need support? I’m offering free coaching sessions for Black women to build confidence, work on goals, and declutter their minds. 📩 DM me or book time—my link is in my profile. And if you're a leader struggling to lead folks who don’t share your identity, let's talk. We can work together to develop your inclusive leadership skills. #BlackWomenInTech #CareerGrowth #WorkplaceEquity #LeadershipDevelopment #PerformanceReviews

Criticism feels like a punch. But what if I told you it's the first step to growth? A few weeks ago, Priya (name changed), a senior professional in the IT Services Industry, came to me struggling with constant criticism from her boss and peers. Her confidence was crumbling. Together, we worked on reframing criticism not as an attack, but as a tool for growth. Here are 5 action tips that helped Priya — and can help you too: My favourite is no. 3. What's yours? 1. Active Listening: Priya stopped reacting immediately and instead listened fully to understand the core feedback. 2. Acknowledge Differences: She learned to see criticism as differing perspectives rather than personal attacks. 3. Release Physical Tension: By taking a deep breath or stepping away briefly, Priya avoided emotional outbursts. 4. Accept Responsibility: Owning up to genuine mistakes turned criticisms into opportunities to build trust. 5. Pause if Overwhelmed: Taking a moment to reflect before responding gave her clarity and poise. Today, Priya is shining in her role, and the feedback that once stung now drives her success. Criticism can hurt, but when handled wisely, it transforms you. And it's not just for Priya. I have used this myself. I have been quite outspoken at work and that always attracts criticism. And I use these 5 principles to remain sane. You can too. How do you handle criticism? Your views in the comments can help people who need this help. Shine! ++++ Photo context. I am generally a happy person and don't mind criticism much. It's there to learn not to fight.

🤔 “𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭.” I recently had a conversation with a woman in tech, and she made this observation. It stuck with me—𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫. In many rooms, women’s voices can seem quieter—not because they lack ideas or expertise, but because of systemic dynamics: 💬 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Women are often conditioned to tentative speech and action, conflict avoidance, and people-pleasing. 👥 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐚𝐩𝐬: Being one of the few women in the room can amplify feelings of hesitation.  🌟 𝐁𝐢𝐚𝐬: Sometimes, women’s contributions are undervalued, leading to fewer opportunities to speak up. But here’s the thing: When women do speak, they bring perspective, insight, and innovation to the table—often addressing gaps that others might overlook. So, what can we do? ✅ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞: Leaders and peers can encourage and invite women to share their ideas.  ✅ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬: Are we unconsciously interrupting, talking over, or dismissing voices?  ✅ 𝐀𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬: Celebrate and highlight contributions in meetings and beyond.  ✅ 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞: Support women in building confidence and visibility. This conversation reminded me how much we all benefit when every voice is heard. To all the women in tech and beyond: Your voice is powerful. Keep using it. To everyone else: Let’s make sure we’re listening. What strategies have you seen that help elevate voices in the workplace? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ⬇️  #womenintech #empowerment

People ask why I talk about being a woman in tech. Because silence doesn't create change. Action does. An investor looked past me to my male CTO and asked: "So who's really running the AI strategy here?" I smiled and said: "I am. And here's why..." 3 rules I've learned building AI-first Startup: 1️⃣ Turn bias into fuel → Every doubtful look is motivation → Every "but you're a woman" becomes proof → Every barrier becomes a milestone 2️⃣ Build power differently → They expect to compete, choose collaborate → They want you to follow, decide to innovate → They tell you to wait, choose to build 3️⃣ Own your expertise unapologetically → Your voice matters more than their comfort → Your vision matters more than their bias → Your impact matters more than their expectations To every woman in tech 💃💃💃 : Don't just take your seat at the table. Build a bigger table. The next generation of leaders isn't asking for permission. They're coding their own future. What barriers are you turning into building blocks? 🔔 Follow Eva Karnaukh for AI, Voice & Dialogue ➕ Subscribe: https://lnkd.in/ewZTxFcE