Recognizing Team Member Emotions For Better Outcomes

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

I was leading a team developing an innovation in consumer packaged goods. The tension was thick. Why? Ridiculously accelerated timeline, technical complexity through the roof, experimental trials every other week. Just when the team was at its wits' end, our VP added two more product variations to our already impossible trial schedule. After the announcement, you could hear a pin drop. Faces frozen. Arms crossed. Energy completely sucked out of the room. That's when it hit me. This wasn't a "people problem", it was a systems problem. My engineering brain immediately went to work: • What inputs are creating these outputs? • Where are the bottlenecks in the emotional system? • How do we optimize for better performance? Instead of seeing emotions as messy and unpredictable, I started seeing them as data. Fear = Signal that safety needs aren't met Frustration = Signal that the process needs adjustment Disengagement = Signal that people don't feel valued That shift changed everything. I stopped trying to eliminate emotions and started engineering solutions that worked WITH them. I called that VP: "When you made that request, the energy was sucked out of the room. I need you to acknowledge their effort and what you've asked puts on their plates." The next morning? Completely different team. Re-engaged, ready to make the impossible happen. Here's what I learned: Emotions aren't the enemy of logic, they're the missing variable in your equation. When you approach feelings with the same rigor you'd bring to any other system, you don't just solve the problem. You optimize for human performance. The most successful leaders aren't choosing between IQ and EQ. They're using both to engineer better outcomes. That project became one of the most successful launches in company history. What systems thinking could you apply to your team's emotional challenges? 🔔 Follow for more insights on engineering better workplace cultures

The secret ingredient for getting my teams “unstuck” during tricky challenges is… pausing to name and discuss our emotions. 😮 Sounds ludicrous, right? Tech leaders are supposed to lead with logic and data, not emotion. But here’s why it works: Nine times out of ten when an outcome isn’t moving forward, it’s because an important but uncomfortable conversation hasn’t taken place. —Are we sure this is the right investment? —Is this a good use of our time? —Why wasn’t I asked to help ideate on this project? These are all questions that never would have surfaced without an emotional check-in. I get it: No one wants to sound critical. But the risk is spending hours beating around the bush instead of getting to the root of the problem. 👉 Here’s how it works in practice: My team was building out an R&D pipeline for the upcoming quarter. We were stuck and couldn’t move forward. I noticed the team wasn’t responding well to any suggested approach. So I asked each person in the room to name an emotion they were feeling. The words “ignored” and “overwhelmed” were shared, and that completely opened up the discussion. We were able to have a much more honest conversation about how different members of the team wanted to spend their time differently. It turned out certain leaders wanted to be more directly engaged with ideation while others felt we should delegate the work. Within minutes of this emotional check-in exercise, we aligned on a new model that allowed leaders to tailor their engagement, participate in the ideation process if they chose, or empower their teams with the right resources. 💡Emotional insights can absolutely drive better innovation and collaboration. I use this exercise often with the goal of “getting comfortable with the uncomfortable” to uncover hidden pain points. I encourage other leaders to try it — I’d love to hear how it works for you!

I've been in countless tense team moments where emotions threatened to derail everything. The physiological response is real—racing heart, flushed face, mind suddenly blank. What I've learned is that our brains literally work differently when emotions take over. The amygdala (the ancient survival center) floods our system with stress hormones, and suddenly our prefrontal cortex—where all our thoughtful leadership skills live—goes offline. My most effective technique for these moments is incredibly simple yet powerful: 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. When I notice tension rising (in myself or others), I might say: "I'm noticing I'm feeling defensive right now, and need a moment to gather my thoughts." "It seems like emotions are running high. Let's pause and take a deep breath together." This isn't about suppressing feelings—it's about acknowledging them so they don't control the conversation. Neuroscience confirms that simply naming emotions reduces their intensity. Most importantly, this practice models what emotional intelligence looks like in action, showing your team that emotions aren't something to fear or avoid, but natural responses we can work with constructively. What's your go-to technique for managing emotions during challenging team moments? Share your practice. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free upcoming challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n #EmotionalIntelligence #TeamDynamics #DifficultConversations #LeadershipSkills #WorkplaceWellness