Understanding Team Roles Through Emotional Insight

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

Trust is not something you have, but something you do. 6 proven ways to build unshakeable trust with your team, TODAY: (Sample situations and scripts are included) 1. Say what you do. Minimize surprises. ➜Why: Consistency in communication ensures everyone is on the same page, reducing uncertainties and building reliability. ➜Situation: After a meeting, promptly send out a summary of what was agreed upon, including the next steps, owners, and deadlines. ➜Script: "Thank you for the productive meeting. As discussed, here are our next steps with respective owners and deadlines. Please review and let me know if any clarifications are needed." 2. Do what you say. Deliver on commitments. ➜Why: Keeping your word demonstrates dependability and earns you respect and trust. ➜Situation: Regularly update stakeholders on the project's progress. Send out a report showing the project is on track, and proactively communicate any potential risks. ➜Script: "Here's the latest project update. We're on track with our milestones. I've also identified some potential risks and our mitigation strategies." 3. Extend the bridge of trust. Assume good intent. ➜Why: Trust grows in a culture of understanding and empathy. Giving others the benefit of the doubt fosters a supportive and trusting environment. ➜Situation: If a team member misses an important meeting, approach them with concern and understanding instead of jumping to conclusions. ➜Script: "I noticed you weren’t at today’s meeting, [Name]. I hope everything is okay. We discussed [key topics]. Let me know if you need a recap or if there's anything you want to discuss or add." 4. Be transparent in communication, decision-making, and admitting mistakes. ➜Why: Honesty in sharing information and rationale behind decisions strengthens trust. ➜Situation: Be clear about the reasoning behind key decisions, especially in high-stakes situations. ➜Script: "I want everyone to understand why we made this decision. Here are the factors we considered and how they align with our objectives..." 5. Champion inclusivity. Engage and value all voices. ➜Why: Inclusivity ensures a sense of belonging and respect, which is foundational for trust. ➜Situation: Encourage diverse viewpoints in team discussions, ensuring everyone feels their input is valued and heard. ➜Script: Example Script: "I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this, [Name]. Your perspective is important to our team." 6. Be generous. Care for others. ➜Why: Offering support and resources to others without expecting anything in return cultivates a culture of mutual trust and respect. ➜Situation: Proactively offer assistance or share insights to help your colleagues. ➜Script: "I see you’re working on [project/task]. I have some resources from a similar project I worked on that might be helpful for you." PS: Trust Is Hard-Earned, Easily Lost, Difficult To Reestablish...Yet Absolutely Foundational. Image Credit: BetterUp . com

I was leading a team developing an innovation in consumer packaged goods. The tension was thick. Why? Ridiculously accelerated timeline, technical complexity through the roof, experimental trials every other week. Just when the team was at its wits' end, our VP added two more product variations to our already impossible trial schedule. After the announcement, you could hear a pin drop. Faces frozen. Arms crossed. Energy completely sucked out of the room. That's when it hit me. This wasn't a "people problem", it was a systems problem. My engineering brain immediately went to work: • What inputs are creating these outputs? • Where are the bottlenecks in the emotional system? • How do we optimize for better performance? Instead of seeing emotions as messy and unpredictable, I started seeing them as data. Fear = Signal that safety needs aren't met Frustration = Signal that the process needs adjustment Disengagement = Signal that people don't feel valued That shift changed everything. I stopped trying to eliminate emotions and started engineering solutions that worked WITH them. I called that VP: "When you made that request, the energy was sucked out of the room. I need you to acknowledge their effort and what you've asked puts on their plates." The next morning? Completely different team. Re-engaged, ready to make the impossible happen. Here's what I learned: Emotions aren't the enemy of logic, they're the missing variable in your equation. When you approach feelings with the same rigor you'd bring to any other system, you don't just solve the problem. You optimize for human performance. The most successful leaders aren't choosing between IQ and EQ. They're using both to engineer better outcomes. That project became one of the most successful launches in company history. What systems thinking could you apply to your team's emotional challenges? 🔔 Follow for more insights on engineering better workplace cultures

The secret ingredient for getting my teams “unstuck” during tricky challenges is… pausing to name and discuss our emotions. 😮 Sounds ludicrous, right? Tech leaders are supposed to lead with logic and data, not emotion. But here’s why it works: Nine times out of ten when an outcome isn’t moving forward, it’s because an important but uncomfortable conversation hasn’t taken place. —Are we sure this is the right investment? —Is this a good use of our time? —Why wasn’t I asked to help ideate on this project? These are all questions that never would have surfaced without an emotional check-in. I get it: No one wants to sound critical. But the risk is spending hours beating around the bush instead of getting to the root of the problem. 👉 Here’s how it works in practice: My team was building out an R&D pipeline for the upcoming quarter. We were stuck and couldn’t move forward. I noticed the team wasn’t responding well to any suggested approach. So I asked each person in the room to name an emotion they were feeling. The words “ignored” and “overwhelmed” were shared, and that completely opened up the discussion. We were able to have a much more honest conversation about how different members of the team wanted to spend their time differently. It turned out certain leaders wanted to be more directly engaged with ideation while others felt we should delegate the work. Within minutes of this emotional check-in exercise, we aligned on a new model that allowed leaders to tailor their engagement, participate in the ideation process if they chose, or empower their teams with the right resources. 💡Emotional insights can absolutely drive better innovation and collaboration. I use this exercise often with the goal of “getting comfortable with the uncomfortable” to uncover hidden pain points. I encourage other leaders to try it — I’d love to hear how it works for you!

The first time I recognized how my emotions were affecting my leadership was during a challenging meeting with my team. I found myself getting defensive; my heart was racing, and my thinking clouded as two team members pushed back on our agenda. Rather than responding effectively, I mentally withdrew. This moment taught me a crucial lesson that would become the cornerstone of our Teams Learning Library's first capability: 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 & 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Research reveals that our brains are designed to have emotional responses before rational thinking kicks in. When a team member challenges us, our amygdala triggers a stress response in milliseconds—long before our prefrontal cortex can analyze what's happening. Through my research and experience developing the Teams Learning Library, I’ve discovered that team leaders who excel in self-awareness focus on three key dimensions: 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 - Recognizing your feelings as they arise, understanding their source, and choosing your response rather than reacting automatically 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 - Understanding how your personality and background shape your natural leadership style, and when that style helps or hinders your team 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 - Identifying specific situations that activate your stress response, and developing strategies to manage these moments When leaders lack self-awareness, teams pay the price. I've observed how unexamined triggers lead to inconsistent responses, team members feeling unsafe to share ideas, artificial harmony instead of productive conflict, and leadership that's reactive rather than intentional. As one leader told me: "I was constantly frustrated that my team avoided difficult conversations. It took me months to realize they were mirroring my own discomfort with conflict." The journey to greater self-awareness isn't always comfortable, but it's the foundation upon which all other leadership capabilities build. When you truly know yourself, you can lead with intention rather than reaction. What leadership trigger has been most challenging for you to manage? Share your experience in the comments. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n

YOU CAN READ A P&L, BUT CAN YOU READ YOUR PEOPLE?   We’ve all watched a brilliant CEO tank their company culture by missing every single emotional cue in the building. Don’t be that CEO.   I encourage my clients to think of themselves as emotional meteorologists who can smell the rain before the Doppler even spots the clouds. Because great leaders can read a room, sense the emotional undercurrents, and respond productively.    And it’s vital to recognize that how people perform is the product of so much more than skill. We’re not robots (yet anyway). So when there’s tension in a meeting – sure, maybe someone just had a rough night’s sleep. OR it could be lingering shrapnel from that re-org last month.    That’s why it’s a fatal error to think EQ is too soft for the C-suite. Every strategy meeting, product launch, and team restructure succeeds or fails based on how people feel about it - not just how it looks on paper. The emotions in conference rooms are as crucial as the quarterly numbers. Here's how to safeguard one to protect the other:   🔍 Create a personal trigger inventory. (What pushes your buttons? Why?) Self-awareness is ground zero on the journey to EQ Everest. You can't be an effective EQ leader without knowing how to manage your own emotions. 📊 Track your team's patterns by keeping a simple log of meetings: who spoke up, who went quiet, what topics sparked energy or tension, and which decisions got backchannel pushback later. ⏸️ Practice the "pause and process" method before reacting (aka, your mom was right when she told you to think before you speak). If you can, sit on emotionally-charged conversations for at least 24 hours. 🧭 Choose a peer advisor who can be your EQ sherpa – guiding you through the sometimes murky territory of other people's emotions. 🛡️ Create psychological safety for your team by modeling vulnerability first. 🌡️ Hold weekly barometer checks with key team members (let's see how far I can stretch this weather metaphor!) 🔋 Build in recovery periods for your team after high-stress periods. 🎯 And always, always map the emotional fallout of your decisions before you make them.   You’ve also got to avoid “The EQ Trap.” High EQ leadership isn't about running group therapy. When someone raises an issue, your response should be: "What do you need to move forward?" not "Tell me more about how you feel." To channel emotions into productive outcomes: 💡 Keep check-ins focused on solutions, not venting. 🔒Personal issues should stay personal unless impacting work. 📋 Every emotional share needs to be addressed with an action item.   And the best part of all of this? Unlike your IQ, your EQ is infinitely easier to improve!   What's the best thing you’ve seen a colleague do to exhibit EQ intelligence?

Leaders with high emotional intelligence know this: 🚫 You can’t push people through change. ✅ You meet them, then walk with them. Here’s how they make it happen: 1. Start with the heart. Ask how people feel before you tell them what to do. 2. Tune into silence. What’s not being said often matters most. 3. Don’t rush buy-in. Create space for people to catch up emotionally. 4. Model vulnerability. Share your own discomfort—it builds trust. 5. Celebrate small wins. It boosts emotional momentum and hope. 6. Check in personally. A quick 1:1 can do more than an all-hands update. 7. Stay steady. Your calm presence is more contagious than your urgency. 8. Repeat the “why.” People don’t remember what you said. They remember how it made them feel. 9. Listen without fixing. Not every emotion needs a solution, sometimes it just needs space. 10. Be human first. People follow people, not policies. Change isn’t just logical. It’s deeply emotional. And EQ is the leadership skill that bridges the gap between strategy and adoption. So, change management without EQ? That’s just a plan, with no heart behind it.

The # 1 trait of the most respected leaders Is something only 36% of people have. It's emotional intelligence (aka EQ). I used to think it was a personality trait. Some people just “had it.” It turns out, you can learn it. If you're paying attention. It's built along the way: In tense meetings. In messy feedback moments. In the silence after saying the wrong thing. Emotional intelligence isn’t soft. It’s strategic. The most respected leaders: Steady the room. De-escalate tension. Keep people aligned. Notice what others miss. That’s not charm. It’s skill. And yes, it’s learnable. Start here 👇 11 EQ Moves That Build Trust and Influence 1. Notice what’s unsaid. ↳ Who’s silent? Who looks tense? ↳ Reading the room is a power move. 2. Name the emotion in the room. ↳ “Feels like we’re stuck.” ↳ Naming it disarms it. 3. Manage your own tone. ↳ Frustrated ≠ unfiltered. ↳ EQ is volume control. 4. Pause strategically. ↳ Not awkward. Intentional. ↳ Space changes outcomes. 5. Ask before you assume. ↳ “Want advice or just space to vent?” ↳ Respect starts with clarity. 6. Say “you first” in tense moments. ↳ Not to defer. ↳ To understand before reacting. 7. Use questions to lead. ↳ “What would make this feel doable?” ↳ Open doors, not debates. 8. Reset instead of react. ↳ A walk. A breath. A playlist. ↳ Regulated leaders regulate the room. 9. Normalize not knowing. ↳ “That’s a new one for me—tell me more.” ↳ Curiosity beats cover-up. 10. Practice presence over polish. ↳ People remember how you made them feel. ↳ Your energy speaks louder than your resume. 11. Give feedback for someone, not at them. ↳ “Here’s something I’ve noticed…” ↳ Kind ≠ soft. These are habits that change how people respond to you. Because they feel seen, heard, and safe. What’s one EQ habit you’ll practice this month? Share below 👇 _____________________________ ♻ Repost to share with someone leading through relationships, not volume. 👉Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more ways to lead visibly and authentically.

We face a leadership trust crisis. Yet nobody talks about it.  It's shocking but true: Only 46% of employees deeply trust their leaders. (Edelman Trust Barometer, 2024) ↳ Yet 82% say trust is critical to their performance. The disconnect? ↳ Most leaders are not actually trained in trust-building. Here's what happens when trust breaks: - Performance suffers - Disengaged teams - Lower productivity - Innovation grinds to a halt The real cost? - High turnover rates - Weak collaboration - Damaged company culture Why leaders struggle with trust? → They're trained in strategy, not connection → Vulnerability feels risky → Short-term wins trump relationship building Here are 4 ways to consider for building trust daily: 1. Practice radical transparency - Share weekly updates on company challenges - Schedule regular "Ask Me Anything" sessions - Be open about what you don't know yet 2. Take visible action on feedback - Implement "You Spoke, We Acted" monthly reviews - Share specific timeline for suggested changes - Follow up on team suggestions within 48 hours 3. Master emotional intelligence - Schedule 1:1 coffee chats with no agenda - Practice "repeat back" in meetings to show listening - Acknowledge team emotions during tough times 4. Create accountability - Share your personal development goals openly - Document lessons from failures in team meetings - Create public tracking for team commitments The Impact? ↳ Higher retention ↳ Increased innovation ↳ Stronger team bonds ↳ Better business results ↳ Psychologically safe workplace Remember: Trust isn't a 'nice-to-have' → It's the foundation of high-performing teams. → Without it, no team can thrive. P.S. What's one trust-building practice you've implemented that transformed your team's dynamics? P.S.S. How is your organization actively building trust? 🔄 Repost to share with your network 🔔 Follow Alinnette Casiano for more