Long-term relationship building in a distrustful world

33 Years of Partnership: Lessons from a Marriage, Through the Lens of Business (this is a LinkedIn after all) 🙂 After 33 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that the most successful and enduring partnerships aren’t always forged in boardrooms or signed on dotted lines—they’re lived, day in and day out, across time zones, parenting crises, and the quiet negotiations that come with love, trust, and long-term commitment. Our marriage has been my longest and most successful enterprise. Like any resilient business, it required a vision, a shared mission, adaptability, and strong governance. But above all, it required communication—relentless, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable communication. We invested early in communication infrastructure: weekly check-ins (sometimes on grainy Skype calls from conflict zones), mid-year emotional audits, and those late-night “board meetings” when the kids were finally asleep. No subject was ever truly off the table; we learned that silence is rarely neutral in a partnership—it either creates space for clarity or resentment. Coaching and continuous learning played a central role. We coached each other, and sometimes we hired help—a counselor here, a workshop there, books, podcasts, moments of grace where one of us knew to listen rather than fix. Like any enterprise scaling up, we had to learn not just to do but to grow. We raised children while managing dual careers—HR crises and teenage rebellions often happened simultaneously. But the key was always alignment on values: our version of a “corporate culture” was rooted in kindness, accountability, and showing up for each other. There were times my career took me to faraway places. Long-distance relationship management was not theoretical—it was real. We deployed tools: planned visits, surprise letters, WhatsApp lifelines. But more than that, we trusted the foundation we built: our shared equity in this life we were building. I always knew that while I was out in the world, she was the CEO of the home front—not as a role given, but as a role earned and honored. Crises came, as they do in any long-standing venture. We had budget deficits (emotional and financial), losses we didn’t anticipate, and unexpected shifts in the market of life. But the board never disbanded. We stayed at the table. And we celebrated. We marked milestones not just with gifts but with stories—our shared annual report of memories, growth, and resilience. Today, 33 years in, I look at her not just as my wife but as my most trusted business partner—someone who took a startup dream and built a legacy. We didn’t IPO. We didn’t need to. We went private, stayed profitable, and invested deeply in each other.

When Maria took over a global team scattered across time zones and cultures, collaboration was minimal, and trust was fragile. Fast forward one year — that same team launched two major projects ahead of schedule, with record engagement and zero turnover. The shift? Maria made relationship-building a leadership priority — not a "soft skill" to be sidelined. The Lesson? Strong relationships aren't just feel-good perks — they’re the invisible engine behind high performance, resilience, and innovation. Common Relationship-Building Pitfalls: 📍 Transactional Interactions — Focusing only on tasks, not people. 📍 Poor Listening — Hearing words, but missing emotions and intent. 📍 Neglecting One-on-One Time — Teams feel like cogs, not humans. 📍 Avoiding Difficult Conversations — Letting issues fester instead of building trust through honesty. 📍 Blurry Boundaries — Bringing work stress into personal relationships. ✅ How to Build Meaningful Connections as a Leader: 📍 Active Listening — Give full attention, ask clarifying questions, reflect what you hear. 📍 Specific Recognition — “Good job” is forgettable. Tailored praise is powerful. 📍 Regular One-on-One Check-ins — Go beyond tasks to understand motivations and challenges. 📍 Handle Conflict with Care — Clarity + Empathy = Trust during tough conversations. 📍 Prioritize Personal Relationships — Boundaries, presence, and vulnerability matter. Relationships aren’t distractions from leadership — they’re at the heart of it. 📩 Get practical leadership strategies every Sunday in my free newsletter: CATAPULT. 🧑💻 Want to become the best LEADERSHIP version of yourself in the next 30 days? Book a 1:1 Growth Strategy Call: https://lnkd.in/gVjPzbcU #Leadership #TeamCulture #RelationshipBuilding #ExecutiveCoaching #FutureOfWork

Why trust—and a broad perspective—lead to long-term relationships A few years back, I met the founder of an exciting tech startup at an awards event that my company at the time were sponsoring. I was a judge at the event and had the pleasure of presenting said founder with an award. We hit it off, and I followed up with him after the event. On our first call, he shared a major challenge: his business was in the middle of an investment round that was dragging on, and they were approaching the end of their cash runway. Things were tight. I’m not a funding expert, but I know my way around the various dilutive and non dilutive funding options available to startups. I introduced him to Sprk Capital, who provided the breathing room he needed with non-dilutive R&D advance funding. That helped him stay in the game, and the business went on to close their round. But the story doesn’t end there. Over the years, I have helped the founder with various challenges. It goes both ways as he has also been there to support me and give me some sage advice (particularly when I was made redundant). When he exited his business, we stayed in touch and I would like to think we have built a friendship as well as a mutual appreciation for each other from a business perspective. Now he’s started something new, and I have been providing some assistance as a bit of a side of desk project, but as of 1st February, I’ll officially be working with him, initially as an external consultant, but who knows what the future will bring. He's not working with me because I’m a specialist. It’s because I’ve shown I can listen, connect, and help solve problems—whether it’s my area of expertise or not. It’s also because I’ll go the extra mile, even when there’s no immediate gain for me. The lesson! Relationships built on trust and a willingness to help are the foundation of long-term success. And if you’re a generalist like me, your ability to adapt and bring people together is a real strength. What’s your take? Is trust the key to building lasting business relationships? What other attributes are essential? #trust #relationships #startups #generalist

🌏 What “Relationship” (关系 guān xì) Really Means in China If you’ve ever done business with Chinese suppliers or partners, you’ve probably heard the word 关系 guān xì. It’s often translated as “relationship” or "connection" — but it goes much deeper than that. In the West, business relationships usually grow after you’ve proven yourself. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬. 🤝 In China, it often works the other way around: 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬. Guān xì is less about who you know, and more about 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭, 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 between people as time goes by. So while we translate guān xì as “relationship,” it’s really closer to: 👉 “𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 + 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 + 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩.” Of course, relationships matter everywhere — East or West. Business runs more smoothly with a trusted supplier, a loyal client, or a reliable colleague. When someone is introduced to us through a mutual connection, a certain level of trust exists from the very start. The difference is also really about emphasis: 🇨🇳 𝐈𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚 → Trust creates performance 🌍 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐭 → Performance creates trust Over the years working as the bridge between Western Companies and their Chinese suppliers or partners for smoother business collaborations, I’ve seen both sides: ✔️ Projects move forward quickly once trust is built. ✔️ Suppliers go above and beyond for clients they trust. ✔️ Partnerships stall when the relationship isn’t strong enough yet. The takeaway? 🔑 Whether in China or the West, relationships aren’t secondary — they’re the foundation of trusted, lasting business relations. The way they’re built may differ, but the impact is universal. Guān xì 关系 isn’t just about small favors or shortcuts. It’s about building genuine, long-term trust — the kind that allows mutually beneficial partnerships to grow and thrive over time.🤝 #ChinaBusiness #CrossCulturalCommunication #Guanxi #关系 #ChinaSourcing #SupplierRelations #ChinaConsulting #InternationalBusiness #TrustInBusiness

It's easy to rely solely on Zoom calls. It’s also ineffective. Call me traditional, but I believe in the power of face-to-face interactions. When I sit down with customers, looking them in the eye, it creates a connection I simply can’t replicate online. At LambdaTest, where our subscription model relies on long-term relationships, a personal touch keeps our customers feeling heard and seen. So, I go the extra mile. I’ll travel to meet clients for coffee, often in their own neighborhoods (since many don’t work in traditional office buildings). This approach isn’t a typical one - in fact, clients regularly tell me I’m the first person outside their family and friends they've met in months. But when I make the effort to meet them face-to-face, they can tell I really care about their problem. This intentionality builds loyalty and trust, which keeps them connected with LambdaTest. I also organize group events for customers, like baseball games or industry dinners. These aren’t sales pitches; they’re opportunities for genuine connection between my team and the people we serve. Plus, they create moments for clients to meet peers in their industry, forming a community that strengthens our business ties. In an age of convenience, investing time in personal relationships makes people sit up and take notice. By valuing and listening to our customers, we’re building trust for years to come. Building rapport needs intentionality. It’s not always easy, but it's worth investing in.

I landed back in Los Angeles after a 4-day legal convention in Vegas and realized something: People are great at networking in the moment, but struggle to follow-up and keep relationships after an event like a major convention. To make sure all of the connections you made are sustained long-term, here's a step-by-step guide to effectively follow up post-convention: 📝 Personalized Note Writing: Always begin with a personalized note. Thank your new contacts for their time and highlight specific topics or moments you shared. A handwritten note can make a deep impression in today's digital world, signaling thoughtfulness and genuine interest. 📲 Organize Contact Details: Compile a database of the addresses, emails, and other contact details you've gathered. Tools like Microsoft Excel or CRM platforms like Salesforce or HubSpot can be great for this. This not only helps with immediate follow-up but aids in long-term relationship management. 🤳🏻 Engage on Social Media:   Connect with your new contacts on platforms like LinkedIn, YouTube, IG, Facebook and TikTok. Engage with their posts to foster online rapport, but ensure your interactions are meaningful. 📩 Newsletters:   If you have a newsletter, consider adding your new contacts to the mailing list (with their consent). This keeps them updated on your activities, insights, and the latest happenings in the legal field. 🔄 Share Your Work: If you've written books, articles, or other publications, share them. It not only positions you as an expert but provides value to your contacts. ✅ Regular Check-ins:   Set reminders to touch base periodically. You could share relevant articles, wish them on holidays, or update them about significant milestones in your career. 👏🏼 Tips and Insights: Offer helpful tips or insights from the convention or from your experience. It’s a non-invasive way to remind them of the value you bring to the table. 🤝 Long-Term Relationship Building Relationships are not about transactions but genuine connections. Ensure your interactions are not always business-focused. Learn about their interests, congratulate them on personal achievements, and be there during challenging times. 📚 Recommend Books: If you've come across insightful books (including ones you've written), recommend them. It's a subtle way to showcase your expertise and share knowledge. 🎉 Events and Reunions: Consider organizing or attending reunion events for convention attendees. It's a way to rekindle connections and stay updated on each other’s progress. Remember: post-convention networking is an art. It requires genuine interest, persistence, and patience. By investing time and effort into nurturing these relationships, you'll not only grow your network but also enrich your professional journey. Remember, it's not about how many contacts you have, but the depth and quality of those connections. #networking #lawyer #success #relationshipbuilding

How do you turn a potentially bad situation into an opportunity to create a much stronger bond with a customer/client? We recently had a customer that was unhappy with some elements of our relationship. They cared enough to just call me and say "this isn't working the way we need it to, what can we do?". As Steven Covey says "seek first to understand, then to be understood." I listened to the concerns and suggested that we meet in person - our two teams of cross functional leaders, to discuss and find a path forward. This meeting was a fantastic open discussion of how we can better understand our process, their process and their expectations. During the meeting we uncovered many new areas of potential collaboration and built an even stronger relationship as we head into 2025. Transparent, candid communication and starting with listening can make all the difference as you seek to build long term relationships. This is a people industry and an in person (if possible) connection that puts all the cards on the table and aligns on areas of common interest pays big dividends.

If you think networking is about collecting contacts, you're already losing. A year ago, I left Meta. Now, I’m working on a multi-industry deal flow that scales globally. How? It’s not magic — it’s trust. The deals I’m working on today started with relationships I built 14 years ago. Here’s the secret: → Don’t chase short-term wins. → Lead with value. Solve real problems. → Introduce others, share insights, and create opportunities. That’s how you build trust. And trust is the currency of a network that creates opportunities across industries — from space research to classic cars. Your network isn’t your contacts. Your network is the trust you’ve earned. What’s your approach to building relationships? #Networking #Leadership #TrustBuilding #ValueFirst #LongTermSuccess

In countries where trust takes longer to build (as is the case of most Asian markets), the most effective approach I’ve found is to bring real business to the table without expecting anything in return. If someone seems valuable, introduce them to a client, a partner, or an investor. Don’t ask for a favor or a cut. Just deliver. If they choose to reciprocate, that’s a green flag. If they don’t, that’s fine too because the point isn’t immediate return. It’s accelerating trust. All other forms of relationship-building, e.g., dinners, drinks, small talk, are way less valuable in comparison to this. Nothing builds goodwill like showing you can make people money while operating with integrity.

Can I be blunt for a second? I used to build on sand. Some of you are doing it now. You’ve got plenty of contacts, but too few relationships. You’re active, but not trusted. You’re posting articles, hosting webinars, showing up at events, but your pipeline doesn’t reflect your effort. Why? Because you’ve mistaken visibility for relationship-building. Here’s the truth: You don’t need more content. You need more meaningful conversations with fewer people. Make your short list. The people you’ve been meaning to reach out to. The ones who actually matter. Then, one by one, show up with genuine concern for the issues they care about. Step away from your agenda. Step into their world. And if they don’t respond? Don’t take it personally. Take it as feedback. Something about your message or your timing was off. Adapt. Adjust. Show them you’re not just another transactional seller adding noise to their inbox. Focus. And watch what happens when authenticity becomes your strategy. #BusinessDevelopment #Coaching #TheShortList