How to stay firm without breaking trust

When you step into your first Executive Director role, there’s no shortage of opinions about what leadership should look like. Everyone has a view of how you should lead. Board members, staff, community partners... One of the best ways I’ve found to stay centered? Define a few principles that guide how you’ll lead. Not a mission statement or a strategy document. Just clear ideas about how you want to show up in your role. So that no matter what else is happening around you, these will guide your actions. But only a few, no more than 3. Otherwise, you end up following rules rather than leading. Too many rules leave little room for creativity. Here's some examples: • I’ll share the ‘why’ behind decisions, even when it’s hard. • I’ll build trust before I push for change. • I’ll invite honest feedback and make it safe to share. • I’ll ask more questions than I give answers. • I’ll choose progress over perfection. • I’ll make decisions with the people who have to live with them. • I’ll be clear, even when I can’t be certain. Rules like these are important because they keep you steady when the path forward isn’t clear. They help you make decisions that align with how you want to lead, not just what’s expected of you in the moment. What might this look like in practice? Imagine you’re in a staff meeting and there’s a disagreement about a program idea. Tensions are high, and people are worried about resources, capacity, direction. And one of your rules is, I’ll build trust before I push for change. Instead of jumping straight into the debate, you pause. You ask clarifying questions and make sure everyone feels heard. You share your thinking openly. “Here’s what I’m thinking about this right now. I’d like to hear how it sits with you.” By sticking to your rule, you create space for conversation and shared understanding, before making any decisions about moving forward. Do you have/use rules like this?

“I’m going to fire him. 😤 I don’t even want to hear his story.” That’s how the conversation started. The CEO was livid. Her employee had done something that looked shady—maybe even dishonest. From where the CEO sat, it was clear-cut: a breach of trust, a fireable offense. Her voice was firm, her decision final. The stories we tell ourselves in these moments feel like truth. But they’re rarely the full picture. I said, can you pause for a sec. Take a breath. Ask your employee just one question: “What’s up?” She didn’t want to. She wanted action, resolution, justice. But she paused. She called the employee. She asked, And… she listened. Turns out the employee wasn’t being shady. He wasn’t undermining the business. He was following protocol - a messy, complicated process the CEO hadn’t been looped into the details. From her perspective, it looked bad. But in reality, the employee was doing exactly what was required. If the CEO had acted on her assumptions, she would have fired someone doing their job. __________ “I’m done. I can’t trust him anymore.” This was a high-performing employee venting about his supervisor. “He gave me directions, says he will stay involved and help out, but when I followed through, he disappeared. The whole plan changed, and now I’m left looking like a fool. What’s the point of working hard when I don’t know where I stand?” Once again my gentle but firm suggestion: Take a breath. Ask: “What’s up?” The employee hesitated. “Why should I? I already know the answer. I can't trust him.” Maybe you know, and confirmation will not make things worse. Who knows an epic story might emerge. It's worth asking. So, he asked anyway and turns out.. The supervisor wasn’t flaking. He was planning a surprise promotion for the employee—a bigger, better opportunity that required secrecy. What seemed like abandonment was actually intentional—and generous. Had frustration festered, that relationship would’ve imploded. __________ Our emotions lie to us. In both cases, assumptions ran the show—assumptions fueled by anger, frustration, and disappointment. And those assumptions? They were wrong. When we react emotionally—without pausing, without asking, without listening—we risk ruining relationships and damaging trust. Avoiding that spiral isn’t as simple as saying “What’s up?” It’s a process:  1. Pause. Breathe. Don’t let emotions control you.  2. Get curious. What if your story is incomplete?  3. Communicate. Ask with openness: “What’s up?”  4. Listen. Pay attention, No interruptions. Just listen.  5. Respond. Decide your next move after you know the full picture. Sounds easier said than done. But it works. Next time you’re ready to fire someone—or send that angry email—Stop! Breathe. And ask: Am I reacting to facts, or the story I’ve made up? Sometimes, the truth is not what you assumed, it can be better than your assumptions. Because discovering the Truth can be Transformational.

The best leadership lesson you’ll get today: Lead with might, minus the malice. How to foster toughness without toxicity: Tough leadership doesn’t have to be toxic. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about resilience and adaptability, not autocracy and fear. Early in my leadership journey, I made the mistake of equating toughness with being overly strict. It backfired; my team was disengaged and innovation came to a halt. That’s when I learned: ➟ true leadership requires toughness 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺. It's about being clear, supportive, and accountable while driving progress. Here’s how I cultivated resilience in teams, without toxicity: 1️⃣ 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗚𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 ↳ Set clear goals, align team objectives with them. 2️⃣ 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ↳ Listen to your team's concerns with an open mind. 3️⃣ 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 ↳ Provide opportunities for growth and work-life balance. 4️⃣ 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 ↳ Own mistakes, hold yourself to the same standards as your team. 5️⃣ 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 ↳ Push your team to grow but provide the tools they need to succeed. 6️⃣ 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 ↳ Let your team own their work while offering guidance when needed. Lead with strength. But never at the cost of your team’s trust and well-being. Build resilience by leading with both tough love and genuine care. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺'𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹-𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴? __________ ♻️ Share to help others lead with might, not malice. 🔔 Follow me (Nadeem) for more content like this.

One of the trickiest parts of growing an agency? Managing client expectations without burning bridges. Early on, I thought being a "good partner" meant always saying yes. But here’s what I’ve learned: saying yes to unrealistic timelines or promises doesn't build trust. It builds resentment on both sides. Now I approach it differently: → Set clear expectations upfront → Explain the "why" behind timelines (strategy > speed) → Show how doing it right once beats doing it rushed three times → Always over-communicate progress, even if it’s just a small update Most founders respect honesty. What they hate is feeling left in the dark. You don’t lose respect by pushing back; you lose it by overpromising and underdelivering. The earlier you set the tone, the easier everything else gets.

When to Stand Firm with Channel Partners 🚨 Today, I'm sharing a story from the trenches that'll resonate with anyone navigating complex supplier-distributor relationships. Here's the scenario: One of my customers—a principal supplier—was getting pushed around by a large distributor. The distributor was leveraging its size and influence, making the supplier fearful of losing their business entirely. The supplier's instinct? They bend over backward to appease the distributor. But the more accommodating they became, the more demands the distributor made. Sound familiar? 🤔 Here's the game-changer: Instead of reacting out of fear, we flipped the script. 💡 Key Insights: 1️⃣ What's the Worst-Case Scenario? If the distributor switched to another brand, would it be the end? No. Loyal customers often stick with a trusted supplier because of the brand's reputation and consistency. Sure, there might be some short-term loss, but it's rarely as catastrophic as it seems. 2️⃣ Actions Speak Louder Than Complaints: The more the distributor complained and pushed, the clearer it became—they didn't want to switch brands. If they genuinely wanted out, they'd quietly redirect customers elsewhere. Complaints and pressure? That's just them wanting to work on their terms. 3️⃣ Stand Your Ground: When you're being pushed around, it's time to show authority. That doesn't mean being aggressive or hostile, but it does mean being firm. Enforce your policies, set boundaries, and not be afraid to penalize when necessary. Respect is earned by standing tall, not by yielding to every demand. A strong relationship is built on mutual respect. Being firm yet friendly sends a clear message: We value this partnership, but it's a two-way street. What do you think? Have you ever faced a similar situation with a distributor, partner, or customer? How did you navigate it? Drop your thoughts below 👇 #DealerManagement #Negotiation #DistributorRelationships #ChannelSales DM me for a free 1-to-1 session on how you can get better results through your distributors and partners!