How to Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

WednesdayQ&A “I often give others a lot more than I give to myself. I always try to help, and requests never finish. Everyone asks me for something, and I try to help, but I feel exhausted and overwhelmed because I don't have enough time for my own stuff. How can I stop accommodating the requests without hurting relationships?” It sounds like you haven’t established clear boundaries, and it’s something many people struggle with. Setting boundaries is essential to protecting your time and energy, both in your personal and professional life. Start by asking yourself: Where do I want my boundaries to be? Why do I find it hard to say no? Is it because I fear disappointing others or because I feel validated by being needed? Understanding your patterns is the first step. Next, communicate your boundaries—because people won’t know them unless you share them. A great way to start a conversation without confrontation is using a method I’ve learned from Rob Dial. Ask permission: “Can I talk to you about something?”Most likely, people will respond positively. Then, calmly say, “I’m going to be honest.” This creates a respectful space to share your needs, like: “I’ve realized I’ve been overextending myself and need to focus more on my priorities. I’ll still help when I can, but I might not always be available immediately. I hope you understand.” Boundaries are not one-time declarations—you may need to remind people from time to time gently. That’s okay! Teaching others how to treat you takes consistency. To live a fulfilling life, you need to protect your energy and make time for what truly matters to you. Remember, saying no to someone else is often saying yes to yourself. #boundaries #sayingno #loveyourlife

✨No is a complete sentence.✨ 🤔 So why does it feel so hard to say? For many Women of Color, setting boundaries at work and with family often feels like walking a tightrope. Between cultural expectations, the pressure to overperform, and the emotional labor of supporting others, it’s easy to put your needs last. But here’s the truth: boundaries are an act of self-preservation—and they’re non-negotiable. As we roll into the season of holidays and "Let's finish out Q4 strong!" here are a few tips that I hope support your boundaries and honor your needs too. 1. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 Your value is not derived from how productive you are or what you do for others. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 In some cultures, boundaries are viewed as confrontational or selfish. Reframe them for yourself and others as acts of love and sustainability. 3. 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁. Rest and joy are acts of resistance in a world that often expects you to overwork. 4. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 & 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 Speak assertively but with warmth to navigate cultural or workplace dynamics that may resist boundary-setting. 5. 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 Setting boundaries may disappoint or surprise others, especially if they’re used to you being the go-to person. That's OK—your needs are just as important as theirs. 6. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 Start with smaller steps to ease your transition into setting boundaries and protecting your energy. 7. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries. 8. 𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼 (𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆) “No” doesn’t have to mean a hard stop. Offer alternatives when possible to remain aligned with your values. What other tips would you add? Share them in the comments. 🧡 ♻️ Repost to share with others. _______________________________________________________________ Struggling with boundaries in work and life? I can help. Setup time to chat here: https://lnkd.in/gPGdqta6

Boundaries aren't barriers, they’re bridges to better productivity and balance. As Chiefs of Staff or Executive Assistants (or any role where we support an executive), we often juggle endless priorities and demands. Someone told me yesterday that they "heard" Chiefs of Staff have 60+ hour work weeks! 😬 😆 Maybe... if they're doing it wrong... The truth is effectiveness doesn’t come from doing everything. It comes from doing the RIGHT things *while* protecting your time, energy, and focus. That’s where boundaries come in. They’re not about saying "no" all the time— they’re about creating clarity, alignment, and space for what truly matters. Here are some important boundaries that can transform how you work (swipe through to see the what, why, and how behind these!): 1️⃣ Availability Boundaries Define when you’re accessible and how quickly you respond. Setting working hours and response times helps you protect personal time and focus. 2️⃣ Time Boundaries Guard your schedule to focus on high-priority tasks. Block time for deep work and use shared calendars to communicate your availability. 3️⃣ Emotional Boundaries Separate your emotions from work dynamics. Protect yourself from absorbing unnecessary stress or conflicts that aren’t yours to resolve. 4️⃣ Responsibility Boundaries Clarify what tasks you own and what should be handled by others. This prevents overextension and ensures you’re working on high-impact priorities. 5️⃣ Communication Boundaries Structure how and when communication happens. Batch questions, use agendas, and set expectations for response times to avoid inefficiencies. ➡️ When you set boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself, you’re also creating a more ⭐️ structured, ⭐️ efficient, and ⭐️ effective work environment for everyone around you. Which boundary has been the most game-changing for you? Or which one do you want to set moving forward? Let’s discuss below! === 🔔 Be sure to follow me Melanie Jones The Chief of Staff Coach™, for more insights on how to be more effective in your role! ♻️ Repost to help spread awareness about effective boundaries

The most common question I get about  boundaries in the workplace: “𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀?”  Before you can create boundaries,  ↳you need to know what they are.  𝘓𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯. A boundary is a clear line  ↳that defines what’s okay and what isn’t.  It helps protect the following: 📌time 📌energy 📌well-being.  Without boundaries, it’s easy to feel  overworked, overwhelmed, and undervalued.  𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿?  They allow you to be:   ⇢ Productive   ⇢ Focused   ⇢ Respected   ⇢ Emotionally balanced   ⇢ Energized   ⇢ Healthy  𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴?  1️⃣ Identify your limits  - Know what drains your energy and what restores it.  2️⃣ Communicate your boundaries clearly  - Example: “I’m unavailable for calls after 6 PM.”  3️⃣ Set realistic expectations with others   - Let colleagues know when and how you can be reached.  4️⃣ Practice saying ‘no’ with kindness   - Saying no to one thing is saying yes to yourself.  5️⃣ Hold yourself accountable - Stick to your boundaries, even when it’s uncomfortable.     (And respect others' boundaries!) 6️⃣ Give self space to grow - Boundaries evolve—check in and make changes as necessary.  𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸?  Boundaries require us to reflect deeply on what we need to protect.  👀 Notice where you feel resentful or drained.   ❓ Ask yourself what you need to change.   🫶 Honor your needs without guilt.   😫 Embrace the discomfort of setting limits.   💗 Celebrate when you follow through on boundaries.   💪 Take responsibility for communicating them effectively.  Boundaries aren't barriers—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲𝘀  to better relationships and well-being.  The more you respect your own boundaries, the more others will, too.  What’s one boundary you could set today that your future self will thank you for? ----- I’m Julia LeFevre. I help leaders turn divided teams into dream teams using NeuroChange. Click my name + follow  ♻️ Repost this → spread value 🙌✨

🩷 Does your “yes” feel like "self-betrayal?" YOU DON’T HAVE A BURNOUT PROBLEM. YOU HAVE A BOUNDARY PROBLEM. My recent client’s calendar was like a Tetris grid. She complained that she is always “on” because she’s a team player. She struggles with being valued vs. being available. Sounds familiar? Roughly 3 in 4 employees, according to surveys, report experiencing burnout at least sometimes; about 1 in 4 say they experience it “very often” or “always.” I disagree that burnout is an occupational reality of a chronic, digital “infinite workdays.” Here’s the inconvenient truth: burnout isn’t a personal failure, and we cannot blame it solely on work cultures. Smart people compromise their boundaries because they believe: • “Personal boundaries = being selfish.” Reality: boundaries are how you stay useful, productive, and human. • “Saying no = hurts my career.” Reality: chronic yes erodes quality, creativity, and trust. • “Good leaders = be always available.” Reality: access without structure creates chaos. • “If I set limits = clients will leave.” Reality: clear scope is a client’s best friend—scope creep isn’t. Here’s an alternative emotional lens: Burnout isn’t a “time/priority management problem.” It’s an emotional misalignment that accumulates into what I call "boundary debt." Each unexamined yes is a small loan against your energy, attention, values, and self-respect—with compounding interest. Under pressure, many default to the "fawn" response: “If I appease & please, I’ll be safe, respected, trusted”. This reflex shows up as over-accommodation, over-performance, and silent resentment. This state is the breeding ground for depression and anxiety, leading to numbness, irritability, or exhaustion, nudging you to change. This is where my work around "Emotional Rights" comes in. Healthy boundaries are simply the practical expression of these rights: 🎈 The Right to Need: Time, clarity, recovery, recognition—needs aren’t indulgences; if your body tightens at a request, listen. 🎈 The Right to Say “Yes/No” Freely: Consent without consequence, not coerced compliance. 🎈 The Right to Belong Without Self-Betrayal: You don’t have to appease to be included. 🎈 The Right to Rest and Restore: Recovery is a performance foundation, not a reward. 🎈 The Right to Choose and Re-Choose: Priorities shift; boundaries should, too. Boundary setting script to help you (steal these): • MANAGER: “To deliver X with the quality you expect, I’ll need to pause Y until Monday. Which should we deprioritize?” • PARTNER: “I want to help, and I’m at capacity tonight. I can do drop-off tomorrow morning.” • CLIENT: “That’s outside our agreed scope. I can add it as a Phase 2 item or prepare a change order.” What has helped you set better boundaries? DM me for a complimentary consult. Turn your struggles into strength. 🎈 Dr. Ardeshir Mehran: https://lnkd.in/gmAJZx-h 🎈 Therapy: https://lnkd.in/g-xmfm73