How to Set Boundaries and Value Individuality

✨No is a complete sentence.✨ 🤔 So why does it feel so hard to say? For many Women of Color, setting boundaries at work and with family often feels like walking a tightrope. Between cultural expectations, the pressure to overperform, and the emotional labor of supporting others, it’s easy to put your needs last. But here’s the truth: boundaries are an act of self-preservation—and they’re non-negotiable. As we roll into the season of holidays and "Let's finish out Q4 strong!" here are a few tips that I hope support your boundaries and honor your needs too. 1. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 Your value is not derived from how productive you are or what you do for others. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 In some cultures, boundaries are viewed as confrontational or selfish. Reframe them for yourself and others as acts of love and sustainability. 3. 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁. Rest and joy are acts of resistance in a world that often expects you to overwork. 4. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 & 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 Speak assertively but with warmth to navigate cultural or workplace dynamics that may resist boundary-setting. 5. 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 Setting boundaries may disappoint or surprise others, especially if they’re used to you being the go-to person. That's OK—your needs are just as important as theirs. 6. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 Start with smaller steps to ease your transition into setting boundaries and protecting your energy. 7. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries. 8. 𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼 (𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆) “No” doesn’t have to mean a hard stop. Offer alternatives when possible to remain aligned with your values. What other tips would you add? Share them in the comments. 🧡 ♻️ Repost to share with others. _______________________________________________________________ Struggling with boundaries in work and life? I can help. Setup time to chat here: https://lnkd.in/gPGdqta6

🩷 Does your “yes” feel like "self-betrayal?" YOU DON’T HAVE A BURNOUT PROBLEM. YOU HAVE A BOUNDARY PROBLEM. My recent client’s calendar was like a Tetris grid. She complained that she is always “on” because she’s a team player. She struggles with being valued vs. being available. Sounds familiar? Roughly 3 in 4 employees, according to surveys, report experiencing burnout at least sometimes; about 1 in 4 say they experience it “very often” or “always.” I disagree that burnout is an occupational reality of a chronic, digital “infinite workdays.” Here’s the inconvenient truth: burnout isn’t a personal failure, and we cannot blame it solely on work cultures. Smart people compromise their boundaries because they believe: • “Personal boundaries = being selfish.” Reality: boundaries are how you stay useful, productive, and human. • “Saying no = hurts my career.” Reality: chronic yes erodes quality, creativity, and trust. • “Good leaders = be always available.” Reality: access without structure creates chaos. • “If I set limits = clients will leave.” Reality: clear scope is a client’s best friend—scope creep isn’t. Here’s an alternative emotional lens: Burnout isn’t a “time/priority management problem.” It’s an emotional misalignment that accumulates into what I call "boundary debt." Each unexamined yes is a small loan against your energy, attention, values, and self-respect—with compounding interest. Under pressure, many default to the "fawn" response: “If I appease & please, I’ll be safe, respected, trusted”. This reflex shows up as over-accommodation, over-performance, and silent resentment. This state is the breeding ground for depression and anxiety, leading to numbness, irritability, or exhaustion, nudging you to change. This is where my work around "Emotional Rights" comes in. Healthy boundaries are simply the practical expression of these rights: 🎈 The Right to Need: Time, clarity, recovery, recognition—needs aren’t indulgences; if your body tightens at a request, listen. 🎈 The Right to Say “Yes/No” Freely: Consent without consequence, not coerced compliance. 🎈 The Right to Belong Without Self-Betrayal: You don’t have to appease to be included. 🎈 The Right to Rest and Restore: Recovery is a performance foundation, not a reward. 🎈 The Right to Choose and Re-Choose: Priorities shift; boundaries should, too. Boundary setting script to help you (steal these): • MANAGER: “To deliver X with the quality you expect, I’ll need to pause Y until Monday. Which should we deprioritize?” • PARTNER: “I want to help, and I’m at capacity tonight. I can do drop-off tomorrow morning.” • CLIENT: “That’s outside our agreed scope. I can add it as a Phase 2 item or prepare a change order.” What has helped you set better boundaries? DM me for a complimentary consult. Turn your struggles into strength. 🎈 Dr. Ardeshir Mehran: https://lnkd.in/gmAJZx-h 🎈 Therapy: https://lnkd.in/g-xmfm73

In the fast-paced work world we live in, setting and upholding boundaries is crucial for career autonomy and fulfillment. They protect our personal and professional lives while helping us navigate the demands of our careers. Throughout my journey, I've often found myself as a people pleaser, compromising my values and letting others encroach on my boundaries. This tendency was evident during my 12 years at a small recruiting firm, where a lack of clear maternity policies forced me to return to work just two weeks after giving birth to my 2nd daughter, relying on family support in less-than-ideal circumstances. This experience underscored the importance of boundaries. When we fail to establish them, we risk sacrificing our well-being and career satisfaction. Boundaries help us define what is acceptable, prioritize our needs, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Types of Boundaries: Soft: Feeling in touch with our internal boundaries, we feel safe and supported. Diffuse: Operating from a place of sacrifice instead of service creates resentment. Rigid: Keeping everyone at a distance because it feels dangerous to let anyone close. Understanding these types of boundaries—soft, diffuse, and rigid—can help us navigate our relationships and interactions more effectively. Steps to Setting & Enforcing a Boundary: Pause: Take a moment to breathe and assess the situation. Check-in on State: How are you feeling? Regulate: Find your center and calm your mind. Go Inside: Consider what your internal limit is. Consider: Ask yourself, "What do I want?" and "What do I need?" Communicate: Clearly express your boundaries to others. Enforce: Stand firm in your decisions. While it may feel loving to accommodate others, we must remember that our boundaries protect our well-being. Boundary Barriers vs. Builders: Barriers, such as feeling the need to respond immediately, people-pleasing, or external pressures like sickness and family obligations, make it hard to set boundaries. On the other hand, builders—like therapy, designated reply hours, and community support—create a safer environment for boundary-setting. As we explore our bandwidth—the mental resources available for processing information and making decisions—it's essential to conduct regular energy audits. Sometimes, it's not about having more time; it's about managing our energy effectively. If you find yourself frequently in a rigid or diffuse state, consider incorporating play and stillness into your routine. Engage in activities that bring joy or practice mindfulness techniques to foster a sense of calm. 🔗 How do you set boundaries in your work life? Share your thoughts!

The most common question I get about  boundaries in the workplace: “𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀?”  Before you can create boundaries,  ↳you need to know what they are.  𝘓𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯. A boundary is a clear line  ↳that defines what’s okay and what isn’t.  It helps protect the following: 📌time 📌energy 📌well-being.  Without boundaries, it’s easy to feel  overworked, overwhelmed, and undervalued.  𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿?  They allow you to be:   ⇢ Productive   ⇢ Focused   ⇢ Respected   ⇢ Emotionally balanced   ⇢ Energized   ⇢ Healthy  𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴?  1️⃣ Identify your limits  - Know what drains your energy and what restores it.  2️⃣ Communicate your boundaries clearly  - Example: “I’m unavailable for calls after 6 PM.”  3️⃣ Set realistic expectations with others   - Let colleagues know when and how you can be reached.  4️⃣ Practice saying ‘no’ with kindness   - Saying no to one thing is saying yes to yourself.  5️⃣ Hold yourself accountable - Stick to your boundaries, even when it’s uncomfortable.     (And respect others' boundaries!) 6️⃣ Give self space to grow - Boundaries evolve—check in and make changes as necessary.  𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸?  Boundaries require us to reflect deeply on what we need to protect.  👀 Notice where you feel resentful or drained.   ❓ Ask yourself what you need to change.   🫶 Honor your needs without guilt.   😫 Embrace the discomfort of setting limits.   💗 Celebrate when you follow through on boundaries.   💪 Take responsibility for communicating them effectively.  Boundaries aren't barriers—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲𝘀  to better relationships and well-being.  The more you respect your own boundaries, the more others will, too.  What’s one boundary you could set today that your future self will thank you for? ----- I’m Julia LeFevre. I help leaders turn divided teams into dream teams using NeuroChange. Click my name + follow  ♻️ Repost this → spread value 🙌✨

The truth? Boundaries don’t push people away. They filter who’s meant to stay. If you are feeling drained, undervalued, or stuck—this is for you.🚩 I used to say “yes” when I meant “no.”
I used to overextend myself, hoping people would see my value.
I used to shrink myself in rooms that didn’t deserve my brilliance. Until one day, I realized…I was betraying myself every time I ignored my own needs. So I made a change. I stopped explaining myself. I stopped over-apologizing. I stopped prioritizing everyone else’s comfort over my own well-being. I learned the hard way: not everyone deserves access to you. Asking myself this one simple question helped me start making decisions that led to less regrets: “Are you honoring your needs, or are you abandoning yourself?” 💡 Here are some things that helped me redefine my boundaries: 🔑Identify your non-negotiables. Get real with yourself about what drains your energy the most? What fills your cup? Being specific and clear about this is key 
🔑Communicate with clarity, not guilt. “I can’t take this on right now” is a full sentence. You are not obligated to “over explain” anything to anyone. 
🔑Protect your peace, not people’s perceptions of you. If someone reacts poorly to your boundary, it only confirms why you needed it in the first place. Own your decisions. Saying “no” to the wrong things means saying “yes” to yourself. Drop some “keys” in the comments or repost this video if the message spoke to you. 🔑🔑🔑 And if you’re on a journey to set better boundaries, let’s connect. I plan to make more content around this topic and want to bring people that are aligned with the message. #Boundaries #CareerGrowth #ProtectYourEnergy #LifeLessons #PersonalDevelopment #EmployeeExperience #CandidateExperience