Handling a Difficult Coworker During Team Projects

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.