Handling pushback when being decisive as a woman

Stand your ground Many people treat their boss like a cross between a medieval king & a Bond villain—terrifying, infallible, & not to be questioned. I get it. Pushing back feels like signing your career death warrant. But here's the kicker: refusing to challenge authority can be even more detrimental to your career. I believe you should stand your ground rather than hold back your thoughts, ideas, & convictions. There's a respectful way to push back, & it’s beneficial for everyone involved when done correctly. Let’s start with the research: An HBR study found that employees who respectfully challenge their superiors gained more trust & saw a boost in their career progression. Think about it—if you’re constantly nodding your head like a dashboard bobblehead, your value to the team is minimized to nothing more than being agreeable. But when you respectfully challenge the status quo? Now you're showing critical thinking, problem-solving, & leadership potential. So, how do you push back without getting pushed out? 1. Timing is everything. Imagine telling your CEO they're wrong while they’re in the middle of a heated board meeting. That’s like trying to pet a sleeping tiger—risky business. Pick your moments. A private one-on-one where the stakes are lower? That’s your arena. 2. Frame it right. "Here’s why I think you’re wrong" is career suicide. Instead, try, "I see your point, but have you considered…?" It’s not about winning an argument; it’s about presenting a new perspective. Use phrases like, “Can I share a different viewpoint?” or “I think we might be missing something important.” It shows you're not trying to undermine but to contribute. 3. Explain the 'Why'. Back your point up with data, research, or a darn good story. When you explain the 'why' behind your pushback, it stops being rebellion & starts becoming constructive feedback. 4. Stay calm & collected. The worst thing you can do is make it personal or emotional. Keep it professional, keep it calm, & for heaven's sake, keep it short. If you go off on a long rant, you’ll lose your audience faster than a cat in a dog park. When done correctly, pushing back shows you're invested, thinking, & willing to take risks for the team's good. Of course, there's a fine line. If you're challenging your boss over their preference for vanilla lattes, maybe sit that one out. But if you see a strategic decision that feels like it’s coming from a place of "we’ve always done it this way," don't be afraid to raise your hand. Pushing back doesn't mean you're staging a coup; it means you're doing what leaders do—thinking critically & speaking up for what you believe is right. Stand your ground if you must, but make sure it's for something worth fighting for. Remember, great leaders aren’t afraid of pushback—they value it. So go ahead, step up, speak up, & do it with respect. After all, as the saying goes, "The greatest sword is the sword of truth, & it needs to be wielded without fear." #Leadership

Ever left a meeting having been caught off-guard by a challenging question and wished you'd handled it differently? Here's a tool I developed called the PAUSE Framework - perfect for navigating tough conversations with confidence & authority: P – Pause and Breathe: Take a 2-3 second deliberate pause. It will come across as thoughtful & confident, not uncertain. This will allow you to collect your thoughts, prevent your words coming out in a rush and side-step the possibility of an emotional response. A – Acknowledge the Challenge: Validate the concern with phrases like, “That's an important point…”, "This is a critical aspect we need to consider...", or "I appreciate you bringing this up". U – Understand Fully: - Clarify if needed: "To make sure I'm addressing your concern correctly..." - Reframe the challenge: "So what you're asking is..." - Show you're listening: "I hear your concern about..." This makes sure you stay in control of the conversation and ensures the other person feels heard. S – Structure Your Response: - Use the "Bridge Framework":  1. Anchor: State your main point  2. Bridge: "Let me explain why..."  3. Conclusion: Restate your point with supporting evidence E – Establish Your Position: - Deliver your message with clear conviction and authority - Support your position with specific evidence or examples - Close with a strong, definitive statement that reinforces your expertise - Maintain confident body language - Stick to a measured, authoritative vocal tone Here are some ways you can respond to challenges: 1️⃣ When You Need More Information - "Before I address that, could you help me understand more about (specific aspect)?" - "That's a complex question. Let me break it down to ensure I address all parts..." - "To give you the most accurate response, could you clarify..." 2️⃣ When Pushing Back - "While I understand that perspective, our data shows..." - "I see it differently, and here's why..." - "Let me share an alternative view based on..." 3️⃣ If you don't have an immediate answer, don't panic! Try this: - "That's an interesting question. I want to give you a complete answer, so I'll gather the specific details and follow up by (specific time)." - "I have some initial thoughts, but I'd like to verify the numbers before responding fully." Using PAUSE transforms challenging moments into opportunities to demonstrate your expertise and leadership. Want to know more about how to apply PAUSE practically? Send me a DM for more info. I'd love to hear about your experiences and challenges! Share in the comments below.

If I were to promote healthy conflict as a woman in tech sales today, here’s exactly how I’d do it (full breakdown): Before you create space for bold, productive conversations There are 3 things you must understand about the culture you’re operating in: 1. Assertiveness in women is still misread as aggression 2. Tech sales still rewards “alpha” behavior over collaboration 3. Many teams confuse agreement with alignment Once you know, follow these steps: 1. Normalize disagreement early    → Introduce the idea that pushback = progress     2. Name the double standards    → Call out how men vs. women are perceived in conflict     3. Use “I see / I’m concerned” language    → Reduce defensiveness, maintain clarity     4. Link feedback to outcomes    →Frame tension as a path to better client results and business impact     5. Ask for input visibly     → Model openness so others follow     6. Recap openly    → Clarify what was resolved and why it matters     So, why does this work? Whether you “win” the argument or not, you’ve just surfaced high-value leadership signals: → Who feels safe speaking up → Where team bias or silence lives → What’s not being challenged enough → Who you need to empower next Armed with this insight, you can elevate every conversation client-side and internally. If you weren’t 100% sure about the cultural blockers before, you will be now. P.S. Your voice isn’t “too much.” It’s leadership. You deserve to speak up with strength and heart. ✨

She was called "bossy" for the same behavior that made him CEO. This double standard is costing brilliant women their careers. A woman in my network reached out frustrated last week. She'd been passed over for promotion again. The feedback? Her leadership style was "too aggressive" and she needed to "tone it down." Meanwhile, her male peer who joined the same month just got promoted to VP. His leadership style? "Decisive and results-driven." Same behaviors. Same results. Completely different labels. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘀: 📊 Women face backlash for assertive behavior that men get praised for. 📊 We're 25% less likely to ask for specific salary amounts. 📊 The same actions get labeled differently based on gender. 𝟯 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵-𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: ✅ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 "𝗔𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆": Obama's female staffers used this successfully, when one woman made a point, others repeated it and credited her. Build allies who will amplify your contributions. ✅ 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲": Research shows women succeed when framing requests as benefiting the team. Say "This would help our team achieve..." instead of "I want..." ✅ 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲": Studies show women interrupt themselves and speak hesitantly. Count to three before responding to pushback, silence projects confidence. The system isn't neutral. But with the right strategies, we can advance despite the double standards we face. I have 4 more research-backed strategies that have helped hundreds of women in our community navigate workplace bias successfully. Comment GUIDE below and I'll send you the complete guide with specific scripts and examples. What labels have you encountered when advocating for yourself? ♻️ Share this if someone in your network needs it. #WomenInLeadership #GenderBias #WorkplaceStrategy #CareerAdvancement #Leadership

Having worked closely with CEO's and leaders in building high performing teams I have experienced first hand the high stakes that come along with it. I have also hence seen the dual nature of pushbacks female leaders receive vis-a-vis male leaders. Sadly the duality still exists today and this is because it is ingrained in the very pschology of generations of human behaviors across the globe. In a discussion with one such highly qualified female leader this week who was labelled for being aggressive ( for being assertive and driving results ) and was being targeted for the ownership her role attached to her - she shared with me her distraught and the self doubt, loss of confidence that was beginning to creep in as she was being seemingly pulled down for doing her job well. In a comprehensive discussion, she and I were able to identify, define and establish a strategy to try and reform the situation to a more positive professional nurturing environment. Highlighting below key aspects & considerations with a view to help anyone reading this article : 1.Self introspection: Identify and acknowledge your own areas of strengths and weaknesses 2. Team introspection: Identify your teams strengths and weaknesses 3. Identify the areas of conflicts and journey through the pathways that led to it (physical, emotional and psychological factors) The dichotomy between perceptions and assumptions plays significant role here. 4. Identifying the path to addressing these challenges and adopting a comprehensive approach entailing open dialogue,building trust,aligning vision and setting clear objectives. Clear Communication and clear understanding is key. A real leader works with the team to make it win, highlights teams successes and is entrusted with the additional responsibility that not only is the team - enabled but it also grows in the process. This understanding is essential for both sides of the dynamic. Ultimately I closed the conversation with her by reminding her that it is the strong who are challenged and while humility is a winner, justice to your role is non-negotiable. #leadership #womeninleadership #womenleaders #women #leaders #womenoftoday #strategicthinking

Career lies I used to believe: “Don’t question authority.” “Put your head down & work.” “Stay in your lane.” “Let your work speak for itself.” Earlier in my career, I remember sitting in a meeting with senior leaders, nodding along as they discussed a strategy I didn’t fully agree with. I felt the weight of my upbringing — a culture where respect meant silence and deferring to authority. When I left the meeting, my manager pulled me aside and said, “You need to push back more. It’s a part of your job.” I was confused. To me, pushing back felt disrespectful. But the more I observed, the more I noticed something: the people who spoke up — who shared their perspectives and questioned the status quo — earned respect. They weren’t seen as troublemakers, but as thought partners who helped refine ideas. I realized that it wasn’t about being confrontational; it was about engaging with purpose, offering alternatives, and pushing the conversation forward. 💡 Silence = invisibility. 💡 Pushback ≠ disrespect. It’s valuable. Here are some ways I’ve learned to voice my perspective in a way that feels true to my communication style: ➕ Reframe pushback as partnership – Saying “I don’t agree” shuts the door. Saying “I see your point, and I’d add…” keeps you in the conversation. ➕ Lean into your curiosity – Asking “What would happen if we tried X instead?” makes you sound like a thinker and creative problem-solver. ➕ Offer solutions, not just opinions – Frame your perspective as a fix, not a fight. ➕ Acknowledge, THEN challenge – Start with “That’s a great point,” then introduce your perspective. People listen when they feel heard. ➕ Align with team goals – “We both want the same outcome, and this might help us get there faster.” Have you experienced this too? What else would you add?

Handling Tough Conversations/Criticism as a Woman Leader: Turning Challenges into Opportunities   As women leaders, we often face tough conversations and criticism, sometimes in ways that feel deeply personal. Navigating these moments effectively is key to our growth and also to setting the tone for the teams we lead. Here are a few strategies to embrace when faced with difficult conversations or criticism.    Embrace Emotional Intelligence Tough conversations are rarely just about facts—they are also about feelings. Leading with empathy and understanding the emotions behind words can help you address the real concerns. When someone criticizes, ask yourself: What is the core message? What are the lessons here to improve?    Seek Clarity, Not Conflict It is easy to feel defensive, but asking questions to understand the other person's perspective can turn criticism into a constructive dialogue. Try, "Can you help me understand what led to that view?" This transforms the conversation from blame to discovery.    Acknowledge and Adapt  Accepting criticism does not mean agreeing with it all. Acknowledge valid points, but always remain true to your values and goals.     Separate the Message Sometimes, feedback comes from a place of emotion or bias. While it is essential to hear what is being said, evaluating where it is coming from is crucial. Constructive feedback will help you grow, but not all criticism deserves space in your head.    Constructive Criticism as a Paper Airplane Imagine constructive criticism as a paper airplane—it may seem light or even awkward, but when received with an open mind, it can lead to a stronger future. Use the feedback to refine your leadership and chart a better course.    Strength in Vulnerability Acknowledge that we do not always have all the answers—and that is okay! Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Leading with transparency encourages trust and fosters an environment where tough conversations become learning opportunities.    Build a Network Having a trusted circle of peers can provide invaluable perspective during tough times. Whether debriefing after a difficult conversation or preparing for one, your network can help you stay grounded.     Lead by Example By handling tough conversations with grace, confidence, and empathy, you set a standard for how others can approach conflict and feedback in your organization. Show that even the hardest conversations can be pathways to stronger connections.    Know When to Let Go Not all criticism is productive. Learn to discern when to move forward, leaving unnecessary negativity behind. We must focus on what moves us and our teams toward growth.    Tough conversations and criticism will come. How we choose to respond defines not only us as leaders but also the culture we create within our teams.    Let's use these moments to strengthen our resolve and inspire others to rise with us.    #AAHOAWomenInLeadership #GrowthMindset #WomenEmpowerment

Ladies, you are losing sales by staying silent when men in business disrespect you. One of my clients recently had a lead ask about pricing. When she told him, he pushed back: “Why is your price so high? Maybe you have a lavish lifestyle to support.” A man would never say that to another man. It was disrespectful. When I asked how she responded, she said she ignored it. That silence cost her—not just the sale, but the chance to stand in her power. I coached her on how to handle it next time. Instead of defending her price or letting it slide, she can pause and say: “Help me understand—why are we on this call? You already have another prospect offering something you want. So why are you wasting my time?” This turns the moment into an empowerment opportunity. It shows strength without aggression, and it flips the power dynamic. Men respect women who can match their power—women who will hold them accountable, reflect the truth back, and not shrink when challenged. That’s the energy of an Empowered Second-in-Command.