Expressing Opinions Respectfully in Team Meetings

I used to believe that being assertive meant being aggressive. The reality is that you can both assert yourself and be kind. 5 proven tips to be more assertive (without being aggressive): 1/ Express your needs and wants clearly Why: Being direct and honest about your needs helps others understand your perspective and enables them to respond appropriately. It demonstrates self-respect and confidence in your own opinions and feelings. How: "I appreciate your input on this project, but I strongly believe we should take a different approach. Focusing on user experience will lead to better conversion. Can we discuss how we can incorporate both of our ideas?" 2/ Use "I" statements to communicate your perspective Why: "I" statements help you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or making accusations. They create a non-confrontational atmosphere that encourages open dialogue and mutual understanding. How: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this presentation, but I have some concerns about the accuracy of the data. I suggest we review the sources together and make any necessary updates to strengthen our case." 3/ Practice active listening and seek to understand others Why: Active listening demonstrates that you value others' perspectives and are willing to engage in a two-way conversation. It helps build trust and rapport, making it easier to find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I hear your concerns about the proposed changes to our team structure. Can you tell me more about how these changes will impact your work? I want to ensure that we address any potential issues." 4/ Offer solutions Why: Offering solutions rather than simply stating problems demonstrates your willingness to work collaboratively and find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I understand that you want to launch the new feature as soon as possible, but I have concerns about the current timeline. What if we break the launch into two phases? We can release the core functionality in the first phase and then add the additional enhancements in the second phase. This way, we can meet the initial deadline while ensuring the quality of the final product." 5/ Learn to say "No" when necessary Why: Saying "no" to unreasonable requests or demands demonstrates self-respect and helps you maintain control over your time and resources. It also helps prevent burnout and enables you to focus on your priorities. How: "I appreciate you considering me for this new project, but unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to take on additional work at the moment. I'm committed to delivering high-quality results on my current projects, and taking on more would compromise this. Can we revisit this opportunity in a few weeks when my workload is more manageable?" What’s one thing that helped you become more assertive? PS: Assertiveness is a form of self-care that also nurtures healthy, respectful relationships with others. Image Credit: Jenny Nurick

I remember the day my ego almost cost me my biggest career win. Early in my career, I thought the brightest spotlight belonged to me. The one who dazzled with answers. The one who always won the debate. One day, I argued my idea so fiercely in a team meeting, speaking so fast my pulse roared in my ears, blind to the tension coiling tighter around the table. My first instinct? → Keep swinging until I “won.” → Prove my brilliance at all costs. → Shield my fragile title of “the expert.” Instead, I took a breath and said: “Help me see it from your side. I don’t want to bulldoze good ideas.” That one sentence melted walls I hadn’t realized I was building. Two months later, that same team championed my proposal. We launched it company-wide, becoming one of our biggest wins. And it wasn’t because I steamrolled my way through. It was because I learned: No brilliant idea survives a room scorched by ego. Here’s the raw truth most professionals never say out loud: • They think respect is earned by winning arguments. • They mistake stubbornness for strength. • They believe being “easy to work with” is soft or weak. But the most powerful leaders I’ve coached share one trait: They’re masters at removing friction. → They stay open, even when pride stings. → They choose connection over ego. → They know real influence moves like a quiet current under the surface, powerful enough to shift tides. That’s how careers grow, not through endless proving, but through purposeful partnership. The C.H.O.I.C.E.® Framework brings this to life: • Courage: Bite your tongue when ego wants to bite back. • Humility: Admit when you’re creating tension. • Openness: Hear wisdom in opposing views. • Integration: Turn conflict into better solutions. • Curiosity: Ask, “What am I missing that could make this brilliant?” • Empathy: People show up armored in meetings, still aching from old wounds. Don’t be the one who rips them open again. 🛠 3 Ways to Be the Person Everyone Wants on Their Team: ✅ Scan your vibe. → “Am I building bridges or barbed wire?” ✅ Ask disarming questions. → “How could we make this work better for all of us?” ✅ Prioritize people over pride. → “I want us to win as a team. What would that look like for you?” If your brilliance leaves bruises, it’s not leadership. 💭 Who’s the person whose presence feels like oxygen when tension starts choking the room? ♻️ Tag the collaborator who proves kindness and competence aren’t mutually exclusive. ➕ Follow Loren Rosario - Maldonado, PCC for human-centered leadership that leaves no scars.

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy