Adapting Communication Styles for Teams

Conflict is inevitable. Emotional intelligence is the antidote. This “conversation guide” is a blueprint for emotional intelligence in action. ✅ Every step here reflects self-awareness, empathy, impulse control, and respect for others’ perspectives — the core pillars of EQ. ✅ Difficult conversations often go wrong not because of what we say, but how and when we say it. ✅ Mastering these skills turns conflict into collaboration. ✅ You create safety, preserve dignity, and move toward solutions — not stand-offs. Bottom line: 🧠 The emotionally intelligent leader doesn’t avoid hard conversations because they know how to have them well. That’s where trust is built, relationships deepen, and real progress happens. Give it another read, and tell me what you think... HOW TO MASTER DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS 1️⃣ Timing Matters ❌ Don’t ambush someone when they’re stressed or busy. ✅ “Can we find a time that works for both of us?” 2️⃣ Starting With Empathy, Not Ego ❌ Don’t jump in with blame or judgment. ✅ Begin by acknowledging their perspective and emotions. 3️⃣ Staying Steady, Not Reactive ❌ Don’t snap back or shut down. ✅ “Okay, I hear you. Can you help me understand what happened?” 4️⃣ Tackling It Early ❌ Don’t let negative feelings fester. ✅ Bring up issues when they’re still small. 5️⃣ Creating The Right Setting ❌ Don’t have tough talks in public or around peers. ✅ “Mind if we step aside and talk in private for a minute?” 6️⃣ Focusing On The Issue ❌ Don’t bring up past grudges or performance issues. ✅ Stay on topic and address one concern at a time. 7️⃣ Finding Common Ground ❌ Don’t frame the conversation as “winning” vs. “losing.” ✅ “We both want [X] by [date and time], right?” 8️⃣ Accepting Responsibility ❌ Don’t deflect or minimize your role in the situation. ✅ “I could’ve handled that better — my bad.” 9️⃣ Avoiding Absolutes ❌ Don’t use words like “always,” “never,” or “impossible.” ✅ Recognize nuance and exceptions to patterns. 🔟 Offering Solutions ❌ Don’t just present problems without plans for moving forward. ✅ “Here’s what I think could help... what do you think?” --- ♻️ Repost if this resonates. ➕ Follow Travis Bradberry for more and sign up for my weekly LinkedIn newsletter. Do you want more like this? 👇 📖 My new book, "The New Emotional Intelligence" is now 10% off on Amazon and it's already a bestseller.

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

Have you ever found yourself giving the same feedback over and over again—whether it's about a presentation, a newsletter, or a meeting? It can feel frustrating. You might think, Why don’t they know by now? Maybe they should. But they don’t. Here’s how to think about it. Clarity upfront saves time later: Instead of making corrections after the fact, take time to explain your expectations in advance. Whether it’s the layout of a newsletter or a framework for strategy, be clear on what you want from the beginning. Start with dialogue:  Have a conversation about the process. Don’t assume your team knows exactly how you want things done. Ask them what they know and what they think. Provide specifics about what you expect and why, allowing room for a back-and-forth discussion. Prevent, don’t react:  Setting clear guidelines early means you won't find yourself in a cycle of constant corrections. That’s valuable time saved for everyone. I’ve felt the frustration of repetitive feedback loops, and I’ve seen how powerful it can be when leaders shift from reactive to proactive communication. It transforms team dynamics, builds trust, and empowers everyone to perform at their best. What’s your approach to ensuring your team understands your expectations upfront? #leadership  #startups  #business  #strategy 

I have a passionate hate for the word “but.” It slips into our conversations with the best intentions and ruins them. Especially when we’re trying to give feedback. I hear it constantly when I coach my Stanford University Graduate School of Business students through role plays of tough conversations: “You’re a valuable member of our team, but...” “You did a great job on that presentation, but…” The second that word enters the conversation, the first half of the sentence vanishes. It’s no longer praise—it’s a prelude to disappointment. And it’s hard to believe that it was true in the first place. The same goes for our personal moments. “I love you, but you need to empty the dishwasher.” Ok, do you really love me? Or is your love conditional on clean dishes? We think “but” softens the blow when something difficult needs to be said. It doesn’t. Instead of sparing someone’s feelings, it confuses the message and muddies our intent. That’s why I tried an exercise for the first time this year with my students—BUT BUSTERS. Here’s how it works: Roleplay a tough feedback conversation. Try to do it without saying the word “but.” Tally the number of times you still say it. The direction is to say what you mean. Then stop. Use a period or use “and” if the ideas truly connect. For example: ✅ “You are an incredibly valuable member of our team..” ✅ “Lately you haven’t been meeting your deadlines. I’d like to understand if there are any obstacles you’re facing to getting work done on time.” I ask my students to track how it feels to not say “but.” Is it hard to stop yourself? Does your demeanor feel different when you don’t use it? They say it changes everything about their conversations. They feel more clear, respectful, and effective. It helps them start from a place of belief in what’s possible. All of that impact from the removal of one simple word. We don’t need to bury constructive feedback inside compliments, and we don’t need to cushion clarity with contradiction. It takes practice, and I still work at it, too. Try it for a day or two, and let me know how it feels. — Like this post? Follow me for more insights on leadership, team building, and the future of work. Subscribe to my LinkedIn newsletter Leadership is Everywhere: https://lnkd.in/g_VETsRY

I learned this one the hard way: leadership starts with clear communication. I remember a project where the problem started with me. I wasn’t clear enough upfront, and it led to confusion, misaligned expectations, and frustration. It didn’t stop there—it spiraled into extra emails, more meetings, and way too much time trying to sort it all out. Worst of all, it damaged relationships within the team. That experience was a wake-up call. I realized my communication needed structure, so I started using the “Why, What, How” framework to turn things around: 1️⃣ Why: Explain the purpose behind the project and why it matters. 2️⃣ What: Be clear about expectations and deliverables. 3️⃣ How: Give actionable steps and clarify roles. The shift was immediate. With clear communication, the team felt aligned, work flowed smoothly, and we rebuilt trust. Leadership communication isn’t just about saying the right things—it’s about giving your team the clarity they need to move forward confidently. How do you keep your communication clear and effective as a leader? #Leadership #Communication #TeamAlignment #IntentionalLeadership

I just watched a rep lose a HIGH 6 figure deal in the first 5 minutes. Not because of price. Not because of product fit. Because of tonality. Here's what happened: Prospect: "Hi, nice to meet you. Just finished walking my dog..." Rep: "Great. What business priority brought you here today?" Prospect: "Um... we're just looking at options..." Call went downhill from there. The problem: Some reps have only one communication style. For instance: Direct and aggressive. But 60% of prospects need a softer approach to open up. Here's the framework I teach top performers: 1) Read the prospect in 30 seconds Fast talker, "let's cut to the chase" = match their energy Slow speaker, relationship-focused = dial it down 2) Adjust your questions accordingly Instead of: "Who's the decision maker?" Try: "Typically when companies evaluate new solutions, it involves a few people. In your organization, who would usually be part of that process?" Same information. Completely different response rate. 3) Practice the uncomfortable Yes, it feels fake at first. Your brain says "this isn't me." But you're not being disingenuous. You're adapting your communication style to connect better. The drill: Record yourself asking 5 discovery questions at different tonality levels for 20 minutes daily. Level 10 = drill sergeant Level 5 = curious colleague Level 2 = supportive friend When reps master tonality… Discovery calls run 40% longer Prospects share sensitive information earlier Close rates increase 30%+ One of my clients went from 23% to 31% close rate just by softening her delivery on budget and stakeholder questions. You can have the best discovery framework in the world, but if your tonality shuts prospects down, none of it matters. Sales leaders: This is coachable. Shadow your reps' calls and listen for tonality mismatches. Role-play different prospect personalities in team meetings. The reps who master this skill connect with every buyer type and consistently hit quota. P.S. DM me if you want to install this in your teams.

🌍 The Real Reason Your Team Isn’t Connecting Might Surprise You 🛑 You’ve built a diverse team. Communication seems clear. Everyone speaks the same language. So why do projects stall? Why does feedback get misread? Why do brilliant employees feel misunderstood? Because what you’re facing isn’t a language barrier—it’s a cultural one. 🤔 Here’s what that looks like in real life: ✳ A team member from a collectivist culture avoids challenging a group decision, even when they disagree. ✳ A manager from a direct feedback culture gets labeled “harsh.” ✳ An employee doesn’t speak up in meetings—not because they don’t have ideas, but because interrupting feels disrespectful in their culture. These aren't missteps—they’re misalignments. And they can quietly erode trust, engagement, and performance. 💡 So how do we fix it? Here are 5 ways to reduce misalignments and build stronger, more inclusive teams: 🧭 1. Train for Cultural Competence—Not Just Diversity Don’t stop at DEI 101. Offer immersive training that helps employees navigate different communication styles, values, and worldviews. 🗣 2. Clarify Team Norms Make the invisible visible. Talk about what “respectful communication” means across cultures. Set expectations before conflicts arise. 🛎 3. Slow Down Decision-Making Fast-paced environments often leave diverse perspectives unheard. Build in time to reflect, revisit, and invite global input. 🌍 4. Encourage Curiosity Over Judgment When something feels off, ask: Could this be cultural? This small shift creates room for empathy and deeper connection. 📊 5. Audit Systems for Cultural Bias Review how you evaluate performance, give feedback, and promote leadership. Are your systems inclusive, or unintentionally favoring one style? 🎯 Cultural differences shouldn’t divide your team—they should drive your innovation. If you’re ready to create a workplace where every team member can thrive, I’d love to help. 📅 Book a complimentary call and let’s talk about what cultural competence could look like in your organization. The link is on my profile. Because when we understand each other, we work better together. 💬 #CulturalCompetence #GlobalTeams #InclusiveLeadership #CrossCulturalCommunication #DEIStrategy

Reality check: if your employees are not able to perform well, it’s not their mistake. It’s yours. Nearly 50% of employees say that they don’t know what their managers expect from them. As a result, they become disengaged and aren’t able to give results. This is why managers need to take responsibility and set the right expectations using the ICE framework: ▶ I: Idea Convince your team that they are not just completing a task, but are contributing to a greater vision. ↳ Ensure that they know your “why.” ↳ Get them aligned with your vision. ↳ Tell them how their contribution can help the organization. ▶ C: Concerns Address any challenges your team faces and let them know that you are invested in their well-being. ↳ Conduct 1:1 meetings to understand their issues. ↳ Encourage open communication and make them feel valued. ↳ Provide access to tools, training and resources they might need. ▶ E: Expectations Don’t leave them confused and frustrated. Communicate everything clearly. ↳ Set clear goals and timelines for each task. ↳ Document performance standards and key deliverables. ↳ Review progress and provide feedback to ensure clarity. Remember, your team can get things done only when they are fully engaged. And it’s up to you to take care of this. What strategies do you implement to set the right expectations with your employees? #employees #team #leader