How to Build Relationships Instead of Transactions

People ask me all the time how to network. Here’s a short, tactical guide on how to actually do it - grounded in real data, real results, and 3,500+ jobs found through relationships. 🎯 The #1 misconception Networking is not: “Let me ask you for a job.” It is: “Let me have a real, human moment with someone in this industry.” ✅ What actually works This is how you build meaningful professional relationships - the kind that lead to real opportunities: 1️⃣ Be around. Events, Discords, social posts, games projects, ticket giveaways, community coaching - just show up. Start by being visible. Over time, become memorable for the right reasons. 2️⃣ Don’t pitch. Connect. Ask questions. Be genuinely curious. You’re planting seeds, not harvesting. This takes months and years. There are not shortcuts to building real relationships. 3️⃣ Look sideways, not up. A junior colleague can often help you more than a C-level exec. Build trust, first, with people at your level or just above it. 4️⃣ Follow up like a human. Send messages that matter: “Just played [X] - loved the level design.” “Your GDC talk really stuck with me - thank you.” “Noticed you moved from QA to design - would love to hear how.” 5️⃣ Give before you get. Share insights, leave helpful comments, support others’ work - anything that builds trust and makes you recognizable. 6️⃣ Say hi when there’s nothing to gain. That’s the best time. No stakes, no pressure - it’s when real relationships start. 7️⃣ Don’t just “shoot your shot.” ❌❌❌❌❌ Never reach out with “Can you get me a job?” That closes doors, fast. Lead with curiosity and conversation, not a transactional, cold ask. 🔥 If I wanted to be provocative… I’d say this: Applying to jobs without connective tissue is very inefficient. Particularly for early career and more senior folks. Instead of asking, “What should I apply to?” - ask, “Where can I build a relationship?” Posting about hundreds of applications is understandable, but it misses the point. Focus on how many real connections you’ve made - then work backward to the right applications. 🧠 Avoid the Dream Company Trap Too many people focus only on the one studio they love - and end up pinging the same five people as everyone else. I always ask: Where do I already have network strength? Where can I go that everybody else isn’t going? We track 3,000+ game studios. 1,000+ of them hire. Go outside the top 50. 🪜 Think in ladders and sidesteps Instead of aiming straight at your target studio, look at who owns that studio. Think conglomerates. Think sister teams. Adjacent verticals. 📊 The data backs it up. Across our community: Cold apps: ~1–2% yield Apps with any warm connection: 10–20x+ better odds 🧭 The shift is simple Spend more time building bridges than sending résumés. Relationships are the infrastructure of hiring. Build that first. The first thing I ask anyone who's stuck is: Are you spending 80%+ of your effort building relationships? If not, do that.

Meaningful partnerships are important to me. Lately, a significant portion of my work has involved connecting professionals in the healthcare innovation sector. My trip to Dallas last week started with organic introductions I made in 2024. Some may view making business introductions as a simple and quick process. The process takes time, and time has a cost. In healthcare, innovation doesn’t thrive in isolation; it takes the right connections to move ideas forward. But real impact happens when we prioritize relational partnerships over transactional exchanges. It’s about building trust, fostering mutual respect, and creating opportunities that solve real problems. Here are my thoughts on how to make meaningful introductions: ✅ Lead with Value, Not Ego. Don’t focus on what’s in it for you. Prioritize how both sides benefit from the introduction. Relationships built on genuine value last longer and go further. ✅ Know the Gaps Before You Fill Them. Understand the pain points of both parties. High-impact connections happen when you address a critical need or opportunity. ✅ Vet Ruthlessly, Introduce Thoughtfully. Not every connection is worth making. Be selective and introduce only when there’s a clear alignment of values, goals, and capabilities. Protect the integrity of your network. ✅ Do Your Homework. Before making an introduction, ensure you have a thorough understanding of both parties to effectively explain why the connection is significant. ✅ Frame the Introduction with Context. Set the stage. Provide both parties with sufficient background information to understand the relevance and potential of the relationship. Clarity upfront fosters respect and avoids wasted time. ✅ Stay in the Loop (But Don’t Hover). Follow up to see if the introduction was valuable, but don’t micromanage the outcome. Relationships that thrive are built on trust, not control. ✅ Be a Problem Solver, Not Just a Connector. Your role doesn’t end with the introduction. Be available to offer insights or guidance if needed as the relationship develops. ✅ Protect Your Network’s Trust. Introduce only when it makes sense. One mismatched connection can erode trust and weaken your credibility. Guard your network’s reputation as carefully as your own. ✅ Build for the Long Game. Relational partnerships aren’t built overnight. Consistently show up, add value, and nurture trust over time. Sustainable impact comes from authentic, long-term connections. ✅ Celebrate the Wins. When a connection you made leads to something great, acknowledge it. Recognize the impact and reinforce the power of trusted relationships. Relational partnerships move healthcare forward. When trust and respect are the foundation, introductions become catalysts for real change. If you’re serious about advancing innovation, be intentional with your connections. It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality, trust, and lasting impact. 🔥 #healthcareonlinkedin #partnerships #innovation #sme

Remember, you don't need a certain number of friends. Just a number of friends you can be certain of. After two decades of running The Nour Group, Inc., I've been blessed to work with some brilliant servant leaders. They get that beyond their products and services, they're fundamentally in the relationship business. They're proactive in nurturing their relationships long before they need them. They stay in touch, add value often, connect important relationships, and go out of their way to support others. I've also met my share of others who intellectually understand that relationships are essential yet ignore its fundamental tenants. Until they need something! They found their current job, were promoted, got VC/PE funding, got great media coverage, and found great talent to join their teams, yet do an abysmal job nurturing their relationships. Until they need something! They are focused technologists or operators and find the rug pulled out from under them, often for no fault of their own. When they're in a role, they go dark to focus on their immediate responsibilities and forget to reciprocate the generosity of everyone who helped them along the way. Until they need something! Here are five relational differences by those who build relationships they can be certain of. Before they need something: 1. They demonstrate a relational growth mindset - They never stop investing in their abilities to connect, engage, and influence. Their relationship-centricity is omnipresent in their language, actions, and behaviors. 2. They value relationships over transactions - The rest of the world builds relationships first, from which they do business. While transactions are short-term gains and opportunistic, nurturing long-term relationships yields extraordinary returns. These leaders play the relational long game in how they show up daily. 3. They reflect, empower, and consistently add relational value - They're thoughtful in their outreach, timely in their responses, constantly empower others, and always seek win-win opportunities. They prioritize their most value-based relationships when they introduce, re-connect, help problem-solve, share insights, and generally lead with relationships in their value-creation efforts. 4. They seek to understand, value diverse input, and relationally adapt - I love the questions they ask in every interaction to gain clarity. They seek out diverse relationships for input, leverage their high EQ to understand and manage emotions, recognize the need for real change, and adjust their portfolio of relationships accordingly. 5. Their humility and kindness are their superpowers. Regardless of their title, stature, or tenure, they go out of their way to support others, mentor, coach, attend, contribute to the discussions, and create communities of world-class relationships. How do you show up for your most valuable relationships before you need something? #RelationshipEconomics #BusinessRelationships

The problem isn't the product or the job you’re offering. What’s costing you is a transactional mindset. Yesterday, I caught up with a two-time founder, and it clicked for both of us—the obsession with transactions creates blinders to opportunities. This founder runs a company in an ultra-competitive space, hitting 150% of his annual goals. He’s a former ATP client and someone I continue to advise and collaborate with closely. He’s thriving in business for the same reason he’s on the ATP dream customer list: he’s intentional, not transactional. He doesn’t have all the answers, and he’s okay with that. He prioritizes feedback, relationships, and meaningful experiences with his team, customers, and candidates in the hiring process. This reminded me why I’ve spent 20+ years mastering sales and hiring: the secret to success isn’t in transactions—it’s in real human connections. We agreed—those who chase efficiency in spite of rooted connections miss out on the biggest opportunities. It's true, people crave simplicity. AND They also need reliability, connection, and trust. They want to feel that what they invest in will deliver. I’ve tested countless PLG products, and most I walk away from the same day. Why? Because I’m bombarded with emails and videos that put the burden on me to figure out the use cases and value. They rely on the hope that I'll magically figure it out and convert. Yet, in reality, I'm confused and frustrated. Talk about a risky bet! Over-marketing isn’t the same as understanding and connecting the dots. The only way to do that? Thoughtful, intentional human intervention. One key to my success in sales and hiring has been ditching the pitch and examining how people think about their goals and problems. Not assuming I know because I’ve uncovered the surface-level issue. That’s the gateway to true alignment. It’s how Avenue Talent Partners has maintained a 98% interview-to-hire ratio: focusing on connecting the dots and alignment, not transactions. It looks like this in practice: "What's important to you?" "What do you want to learn about this?" "What won't work for you? There’s plenty of time for “show and tell” later. This is why our customers tell us we’re different—being different isn’t a big shift. It’s about what happens in practice. Whenever I think I understand the situation, there’s always more to learn. Demoing a product or pitching a role is a tiny part of the process. TL;DR: Our process isn’t the priority—their needs are. Being effective and “easy to work with” doesn’t mean throwing a product, opportunity, or candidate at someone and hoping for the best. Dig deeper. It’s the only way to capture the full opportunity. And where real "value" is built. #BuildWithATP #Business #Startups #Founders

𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙮 90 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙙, 𝙬𝙝𝙤'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨. True connection-building? 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝘀: - Exchanging contacts as if we’re collecting stamps. - The almost obligatory post-meeting "Great connecting with you!" email. - A LinkedIn connection request followed by...crickets. Not all cringe but getting close. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀: - Genuine interest in the other person's work and challenges. - Consistent effort to provide value without expecting anything in return. - Openness to sharing knowledge and resources freely. - Patience and understanding that not all relationships will bloom overnight - Resilience to maintain a positive outlook, even when efforts seem unreciprocated 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙩'𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 "𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙." 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁? 😂 This is LinkedIn, folks, not a cold call rejection hotline. Crafting meaningful relationships is less about adding a contact and more about being real, showing up, and sometimes, being the one who gives a bit more. So here’s to creating vibes that last, rooted in respect, patience, and authenticity. 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸, 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸. Let’s make our connections matter, with a little more heart and a lot less "I’m not interested." Because this, right here, is LinkedIn. 🚀

Want a referral? Don't be transactional! This is one of the biggest networking mistakes I see. If the only time you’re reaching out to people is when you need something, you’re doing it wrong. Being transactional in your approach doesn’t build trust, it pushes people away. You might get ghosted, ignored, or worse, leave a bad impression that lasts. Networking isn’t about what others can do for you; it’s about building genuine relationships that benefit both sides. But 9/10 times, YOU have to make the first offer. Think about it—why would someone help you out if the only time they hear from you is when you’re asking for something? People help people they like and trust. Trust takes time and effort to build. So, instead of reaching out only when you need something, establish a relationship and offer value first. Engage with their work, share insights, or simply be a supportive connection. When you focus on giving, you’ll find that people are much more willing to help you when you need it. Networking isn’t a short-term transaction—it’s a long game. Play it smart, and you’ll see better results. (Sorry for the EXTREME closeup - we're slowly honing our video game...) 🪖