One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.
Navigating Employee Conflict
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Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.
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At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?
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How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers 👇 I've worked with some challenging people in my career... and honestly? Each one took a big toll on me. Sometimes it was a client... Sometimes a coworker... And sometimes my manager. Toxic work environments can be out of our control - you just can't predict who you'll work with, no matter how much you research a job in advance. But with the right approach, you CAN improve your situation. ➡️ DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM — EVEN IF YOU ARE ONE Your job is to make your manager's life easier — not harder. Complaining without a solution shows poor leadership and signals you can't solve problems independently. Take responsibility and start solving the problem yourself. This mindset shift alone can dramatically change outcomes. ➡️ NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING The other person may not even know there's a problem, or they don't have enough reason to change. Speak up in a private, non-combative way: "I work best when..." or "It's challenging for me when..." Attack the problem, not the person. One conversation can transform a relationship that's been difficult for months. ➡️ GIVE DIRECT BUT RESPECTFUL FEEDBACK Pick a 1:1, a check-in, or ask for a meeting. Keep it calm, constructive, and focused on collaboration. You're not confronting — you're informing and improving. Frame it as a joint effort to create a better working relationship. ➡️ PROTECT YOUR REPUTATION If the situation might impact your image, notify your manager. Let them know you're working on it and will update them. This protects you from having your reputation damaged if the wrong story gets out. It shows maturity and leadership under pressure. ➡️ STAY PROFESSIONAL — ALWAYS Matching disrespect with disrespect only fuels the fire. They'll use your reaction as ammunition to continue their behavior or claim you're being unprofessional. Don't stoop to their level. Stay calm, stay sharp. When they go low, you go high. ➡️ BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE When you feel mistreated, take notes on what specifically bothers you. Use it to guide how you will treat others someday when you're in a position of authority. Great leaders don't repeat bad management — they learn from it. Managing people is genuinely hard - balancing praise with constructive feedback takes skill. ➡️ DON'T FIX IT FOR OTHERS — HELP THEM FIX IT THEMSELVES If someone comes to you with a coworker problem, listen. But instead of solving it for them, empower them to act. Teach them how to handle it — that's true leadership. As the saying goes, give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime. === Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there's no fixing a toxic environment. Know when it's time to move departments or jobs. I'm a big believer that who you work with matters as much as what you do. What strategies have worked for you when dealing with difficult coworkers? Drop your thoughts below 👇
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If your team’s go-to conflict strategy is "assume good intent," you’re stuck in the past. Here’s what to do in 2025 instead! As HR Professionals, we hear (and even say!) this all the time: 🟣 But they meant well! 🟣 Assume good intent 🟣 You didn't grasp their meaning I know, all these phrases *sound* harmless, but here's the thing: Intent doesn’t cancel out harm! In fact, using good intent as a shield often prevents teams from addressing what really happened, and who it hurt. Moving forward, instead of "assuming good intent," try the CARE Framework: 🟣 C — Clarity: Spell out expectations, values, and consequences. 🟣 A — Accountability: Acknowledge impact without defensiveness. 🟣 R — Repair: Take meaningful action to rebuild trust. 🟣 E — Equity: Examine why the harm happened and who it affected most. The goal is never to shame someone for making a mistake (we all make mistakes, after all!) But we can absolutely move forward, reflect on what happened, take action, and actually learn from our mistakes. HR peeps, remember: if your culture is built around "good intentions," you’re probably protecting harm instead of preventing it! 👋🏻
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85% of employees encounter workplace conflicts, but most leaders avoid addressing them. This used to be one of my weaknesses too, till I learnt the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model. This categorizes all forms of conflict resolution into five distinct strategies, based on a balance between assertiveness and cooperation. Here are the 5 strategies it teaches you, and when to use each: 1. Competing You push your agenda with authority or strong arguments. It’s great for quick decisions but might strain relationships. Example: A project manager insists on a specific vendor, though the team doesn't like working with them, leading to resentment but meeting tight deadlines. 2. Accommodating You put others’ needs first to keep the peace. Best for when harmony matters more than the issue itself. Example: A team leader agrees to extend a colleague’s project deadline, even if it delays their own work, to maintain team morale. 3. Avoiding Sidestepping conflict altogether, ignoring the problem for the time being. This can be helpful when the issue is minor, but often leads to unresolved tensions. Example: An employee is unhappy with a project they’re assigned, but it’s only for 2 months, so they avoid raising concerns. 4. Collaborating You and the other party work together, investing time and resources to find a solution that satisfies everyone. Perfect for complex problems. Example: Two team leads work together to split resources between projects, ensuring both teams meet their goals without sacrificing quality. 5. Compromising You both give up something to reach an agreement. It’s a middle ground between competing and accommodating. Example: Two managers agree to split the budget increase, each getting half of what they initially wanted to support their projects. - The Thomas-Kilmann Model isn’t just a theory - it’s a practical tool you can apply daily. Consciously finding the right type of conflict handling style to use is a game changer for leaders - and will lead to a stronger team. #companyculture #leadership #strategies
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🔥 How to Handle a Difficult Conversation as a Leader 🔥 Difficult conversations are one of the toughest parts of leadership but also one of the most important. The key isn’t just delivering bad news and walking away, but staying engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. I recently wrote about this in my Harvard Business Review article, “How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn’t Meeting Expectations,” where I shared strategies to turn these moments into opportunities for growth. As an executive coach and advisor, I work with leaders navigating these conversations every day. Here are four things to keep in mind to make the discussion more productive: 👉 Set the stage for collaboration Approach it as a partnership. Start with alignment: “My goal is to provide clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development.” 👉 Encourage self-reflection Invite them to assess their own performance. “Looking back, what’s working well? What would you improve?” This helps shift the mindset from blame to growth. 👉 Deliver feedback with clarity Be specific and avoid ambiguity. Focus on observed behaviors, not assumptions. Instead of “You’re not engaged,” say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings, and team members think you are disconnected.” 👉 Reset expectations and look ahead Frame the conversation around the future. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “How would you handle this situation differently next time?” Difficult conversations don’t have to feel like confrontations. When approached with preparation, empathy, and a focus on growth, they can be transformative strengthening both performance and trust. Please share in the comments, what strategies have helped you navigate tough conversations? ⬇️ 📖 Read my full HBR article here: https://lnkd.in/eMuV9eWp #Leadership #Coaching #Feedback #FutureOfWork #GrowthMindset #Careers #Thinkers50 #Coach #Professor #Advisor #MG100 #BestAdvice #JennyFernandez
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Culture isn’t what you say — it’s what people feel. And you can feel it most on Sunday night. 👇 Unspoken tension. Emotional exhaustion. A creeping sense of dread. That’s not just burnout — it’s a broken culture. Here’s how to start fixing it from the inside out: 1️⃣ Listen without fixing ↳ Ask “What do you need right now?” instead of offering a solution. 2️⃣ Make psychological safety visible ↳ Admit your own mistakes openly to create permission for honesty. 3️⃣ Turn values into verbs ↳ Don’t just say “we care” — show it in decisions, meetings, and rewards. 4️⃣ Recognize, early and often ↳ Give meaningful praise for effort, not just results. 5️⃣ Kill toxic tolerance ↳ Don’t promote brilliance that burns others — protect the team first. 6️⃣ Coach more than you manage ↳ Replace checklists with curiosity in your 1:1s. 7️⃣ Redesign your Sunday night ↳ Send a “what’s one thing you’re excited for?” message to your team. 8️⃣ Let humans be human ↳ Normalize rest, mental health days, and setting boundaries. 9️⃣ Re-recruit your team weekly ↳ Remind them why their work matters — and why they matter to you. 🔟 Measure what matters ↳ Track engagement and wellbeing like you track performance. Your culture already exists. The only question is — are you proud of it? ❓How do your people feel before Monday even begins? ♻️ Share this if you're building a better workplace. 👋 I write posts like this every day at 9:30am EST. Follow me (Dr. Chris Mullen) so you don't miss the next
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Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence
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85% of employees experience workplace conflict. Imagine this: Two senior managers aren’t talking. Their teams feel the tension. A big deadline is approaching. The outcome? It’s not looking good. Master conflict resolution with these 4 frameworks: 1. Dual Concern Model for Conflict Resolution Pick the right approach: → Commanding (use power when necessary) → Collaborating (win-win solution) → Compromising (both give a little) → Avoiding (when a pause helps) → Accommodating (yield to maintain harmony) 2. Principled Negotiation Focus on interests, not positions: → Separate people from the problem → Focus on interests → Brainstorm options → Use objective criteria 3. Nonviolent Communication Speak without blame: → “I’m noticing…” (Observation) → “I’m feeling…” (Feelings) → “I would like…” (Needs) → “Would you…” (Requests) 4. The LEAPS Method Build understanding: → Listen → Empathize → Ask → Paraphrase → Summarize For example, in the case of those two managers: You could meet with each manager one-on-one. Listen carefully. Ask clarifying questions. Understand their interests. Find the real issue, and the solution will follow. Great teams don’t avoid conflict. They master resolving it. ♻️ Find this valuable? Repost to help others. Follow me for posts on leadership, learning, and systems thinking. 📌 Want free PDFs of this and my top cheat sheets? You can find them here: https://lnkd.in/g2t-cU8P Hi 👋 I'm Vince, CEO of Sparkwise. We help teams rapidly build skills like this together with live group learning, available on demand. Check out our topic library: https://lnkd.in/gKbXp_Av