Conducting Exit Interviews

The exit interview wasn’t the surprise. The lunch conversation afterward was. I had just wrapped a debrief with my CEO, one of those quiet, mutual decisions where a high-performing leader exits after less than a year. Smart. Driven. Clear cultural fit. Or so we thought. The CEO asked me to lunch right after. I assumed we’d talk succession, backfill strategy, maybe a search firm. Instead, halfway through his grilled chicken salad, he looked at me and said: “I think I missed it. All of it. And I don’t want to miss it again.” That changed the conversation. Because the truth is: You don’t lose top leaders in exit interviews. You lose them in silences, in shifting body language, in the meetings where they stop fighting for the future. So we unpacked what happened. Together. 🔹 Our vision had gotten blurry. What was once a big, energizing mission had turned tactical and reactive. The “why” they’d joined for got buried under the weight of daily ops. 🔹 Strategy became survival. Every conversation was about fires, never the future. Their calendar became a triage board, not a blueprint for scale. 🔹 The room got quiet. They stopped challenging ideas. Not because they didn’t care, but because it stopped feeling like it mattered. 🔹 Our values frayed. We’d made compromises. Small ones. But enough that it felt like the soul of the company had shifted. 🔹 Recognition dried up. This leader had gone above and beyond, again and again. And somewhere along the way, we stopped saying thank you. 🔹 Decision-making slowed to a crawl. Red tape crept in. Every move required buy-in from five other teams. They felt stifled and stuck. 🔹 Burnout became the baseline. We noticed the fatigue, but not the toll. And they didn’t complain. They just got quieter. 🔹 Their voice went unheard. Ideas were raised. Some bold. Some uncomfortable. Few went anywhere. 🔹 And finally - ego replaced curiosity. Not theirs. Ours. The exec team had started nodding more and questioning less. Real talk vanished. So did innovation. By the time we “noticed,” they were already gone. And it wasn’t about comp. It was about purpose. About being seen. Heard. Trusted. About building something that meant something. My CEO sat back, quiet. Then he asked: “How do I make sure I don’t miss it next time?” Here’s what I told him: You don’t wait for the exit interview. You (we) build a culture of ongoing feedback, curiosity, and conversation. You notice energy shifts. You check in when a voice goes quiet. You treat your top talent like partners, not passengers. Because when your best people leave, they’re not walking away from a job. They’re walking away from a story they no longer believe in. Your job as a leader is to help them keep believing. He looked me in the eye and said, “From now on, let's not just build a company, let's build a place where no one feels they have to leave to be heard.”

The exit interview that changed everything started with "I wasn't going to say anything, but..." Rachel had already signed with her new company. Desk cleaned. Badge turned in. Just this last formality. HR asked the standard questions. She gave the standard answers. "Great opportunity." "Ready for new challenges." Then, as she stood to leave, something shifted. "Actually... can I share something?" What followed was 47 minutes of truth. About the VP who took credit for her innovation framework. The one that saved $3M in operational costs. The one he pitched to the board as his "weekend brainstorm." About the promotion that kept moving. "After this project." "Next quarter." "Once we stabilize." Two years of promises that never happened. About the meeting where they discussed her replacement. While she was still in the room. Like she'd already become invisible. HR took notes. Asked follow-up questions. "Why didn't you escalate this?" Rachel almost laughed. "To who? His boss, who calls him 'a visionary'?" "To HR, who just last month said we need to 'assume positive intent'?" But here's what happened next: HR pulled six months of exit data. Rachel wasn't alone. Seven others had left that VP's team. All high performers under similar circumstances. All too polite to say it until they were already gone. The pattern was right there. "I'm seeking growth" meant "I'm blocked here." "Looking for a new challenge" meant "I don't feel valued." Three months later, that VP was "pursuing other opportunities." Rachel was already thriving at her new company. Where her ideas had her own name on them. Where promises had dates attached. Here's what most companies miss about exit interviews: The most valuable feedback comes after the decision is final. When politeness finally gives way to truth. When there's nothing left to lose. But by then, your best people are using their talents somewhere else. Every "I wasn't going to say anything, but..." is a flashing neon warning sign that says, "Broken Culture Here." Because if people only feel safe telling the truth on their way out, what aren't they telling you while they're still there? And who's leaving next because of it?

Stop asking 'How do we hire better people?' Start asking 'Why do our best people leave?' The real reasons top talent quits (from 500+ exit interviews): 1️⃣ 'Exciting opportunities' = No growth path ↳ 76% leave because they can't see their next step 2️⃣ 'Different direction' = Poor leadership ↳ 82% quit their manager, not their job 3️⃣ 'Better offer' = Felt undervalued ↳ It's rarely about money. It's about recognition 4️⃣ 'Personal reasons' = Toxic culture ↳ 91% left because they couldn't be themselves 5️⃣ 'New challenges' = Burnout ↳ They asked for help. You didn't listen Every exit interview is a postmortem of: • Ignored feedback • Broken promises • Missed signals • Silent struggles The BIGGEST Reality Check: The cost of replacing talent = 2-3x their salary The cost of keeping them = Actually listening Stop the cycle: 1. Ask before they leave 2. Listen when they speak 3. Act while they're still invested Your best hiring strategy? Keep the talent you already have. ↳ Share and Repost to protect your team. ↳ Follow for more leadership insights.

The most expensive conversation in business? The exit interview you didn't understand. Last quarter, a Director gave their notice at a Fortune 500 company. Exit interview: 'Better opportunity.' Real cost: $213,000 in replacement costs. Actual reason: Found in their team's quiet resignations three months later. Let me decode what's really happening in your exit interviews: When they say: "I found a better opportunity" They mean: - "I couldn't see my future here" - "My ideas died in meetings" - "I watched mediocrity get promoted" When they say: "Work-life balance" They mean: - "My boundaries weren't respected" - "The urgent always beat the important" - "Burnout was treated as dedication" When they say: "Higher compensation" They mean: - "I don't see my value reflected here" - "I had to leave to level up" - "Someone else saw my worth first" When they say: "It's not personal" They mean: - "It's deeply personal" - "I stopped believing in the mission" - "The gap between what we say and what we do is too wide" Here's what nobody tells you about Employee Value Proposition (EVP) work: Your real EVP lives in these translations. Not in your job posts. Not in your careers page. Not in your culture deck. It lives in the space between what people say and what they mean. Want to build an EVP that works? Start with truth. Want to keep your best talent? Learn to hear what they're not saying. What's the most common exit interview response you've heard? Drop it below - let's decode it.

What 1000+ Netflix Exit Interviews Taught Me About Why People Really Leave After years of conducting exit interviews at Netflix, I learned something uncomfortable: Exit interviews are performance theater. People tell you what they think you want to hear. They're already gone—mentally, emotionally. They're protecting their references, their reputation, their next opportunity. The real truth? It lives in the conversations they had with their partners at 10pm. In the texts to their best friends. In the moments they decided to pick up the recruiter's call. Here's what those 1000+ conversations actually revealed: • The "official" reason was rarely the real reason • People sanitize their feedback to avoid burning bridges • By the time someone's in an exit interview, it's archaeology—you're digging up decisions made months ago The most honest feedback I ever got? From people who stayed but felt safe enough to tell me they'd been looking. From skip-levels where someone trusted me with their truth. From the patterns in what people didn't say. Exit data is like reading yesterday's newspaper. If you want to know why your best people might leave, ask them while they're still here. Create the safety for truth-telling before it becomes past tense. Because once they're sitting in that exit interview? They're already gone. #Leadership #TalentManagement #NetflixCulture #WorkplaceTruth #ExitInterviews

What others won’t tell you about exit interviews: They’re not just a formality... They are a gold mine of information. • They identify hidden issues. • They improve engagement. • They provide closure. Here's why: • Insights: Uncover reasons for departures. • Trust: Commit to changes and improvement. • Perspectives: See issues with a new POV. • Trends: Spot patterns and problems. • Solutions: Discover actionable ideas. You might be tempted to dismiss the need for exit interviews. You might make excuses, such as "everyone leaves sooner or later" or "they won't have anything constructive to say." You might be afraid of hard truths. Whatever the reason, don't shy away from the candid, unfiltered feedback. And don't outsource the task to HR, if at all possible. Consider these strategies to get the most out of exit interviews: 💡 Create Comfort: ↳ Take the person out for coffee or lunch. ↳ Listen carefully to understand, not judge. 💡 Ask the Right Questions: ↳ Favor open-ended questions. ↳ Dive deeper than "Why are you leaving?" 💡 Act on the Data: ↳ Track improvements. ↳ Use the feedback to drive meaningful change. 💡 Ensure Info Remains Private: ↳ Encourage honest, open feedback. ↳ Guarantee that feedback will remain private. 💡 Improve Future Hiring Practices: ↳ Refine JDs and recruitment strategies. ↳ Improve onboarding to support new hires. 💡 Don't Try to Retain the Person ↳ Wish the person success and happiness. ↳ Respect the person's decision/career path. As leaders, we should have regular conversations with our team, gaining insight and ideas for improvement. However, exit interviews often provide a few eye-opening truths. But even when they don't, they signal to the person and team you truly value their contributions. PS. Do you conduct exit interviews? 🔔 Follow Chris Cotter for more on leadership.

🚨The Exit Interview Lie: What Departing Employees REALLY Want to Tell You 🚨 After years of observing leadership failures and speaking with professionals who've left organizations, I've noticed a disturbing pattern: people lie in exit interviews. 😔 Not because they're dishonest, but because they've already given up hope that anything will change. ⚠️ 🌟 BELIEVE in hearing the truth! 🌟 👉 "I'm leaving for better opportunities" actually means... 💼 "I'm leaving because leadership here is toxic, but I don't want to burn bridges." 🔥 👉 "It's time for a new challenge" actually means... 🎯 "I've been asking for growth opportunities for months and you keep ignoring me." 📈 👉 "The commute is too long" actually means... 🚗 "I'd drive twice as far to work for a leader who actually cares about my success." ❤️ 📢 What They're NOT Telling You: 🔥 Your middle managers are destroying morale daily But they won't name names because they know nothing will happen to poor supervisors. 😞 🔥 Your "open door policy" feels like a trap People who speak up get labeled as "difficult" or "not a team player." 🚪 🔥 Your recognition programs recognize the wrong things You celebrate tenure while ignoring actual performance and innovation. 🏆 💰 The Real Cost 💰 Every sanitized exit interview represents: 🧠 Lost institutional knowledge 💵 Wasted training investment 📉 Missed opportunities for real improvement 💔 Damage to your employer brand ✅ Getting the Truth Before It's Too Late Smart organizations: ✓ Create anonymous feedback systems with real follow-up 📝 ✓ Measure manager effectiveness through team retention rates 📊 ✓ Ask "What would make you stay?" before people start job searching 🤔 ✓ Track patterns in departure reasons, not just surface explanations 🔍 The employees walking out your door aren't the problem. They're the symptom of leadership that refuses to face uncomfortable truths. 💯 Start having real conversations before the exit interview becomes necessary. 🗣️ ✨ I help organizations and teams transform trust into a high-performance tool through the BELIEVE Framework program. Reach out to me if you need to Lead Boldly, Build Boldly, Grow Boldly. I am here to help. ✨ #ExitInterviews #EmployeeRetention #WorkplaceTruth #OrganizationalCulture

Ever had an ideal candidate reject your offer someone who seemed like a perfect fit? It’s easy to assume they left for more money or better perks. But after conducting hundreds of exit interviews, I can tell you: compensation rarely cracks the top three reasons. Top talent is leaving because they see deeper issues. • Technical leaders without real authority Engineers notice when product decisions are dictated by non-technical execs. When their expertise is overridden without reason, they’ll walk. The best engineers want to build, not battle for influence. • Culture where politics matter more than performance High performers look for environments where results are rewarded. If internal advancement is based on relationships or face time instead of impact, they’ll move on to a company that values what they deliver. • No clear technical vision If your team can’t articulate where you're going in the next 12 to 18 months, it signals disorganization. Ambitious engineers want to build toward a future not guess at it. Here’s the kicker: these are issues of clarity, alignment, and respect. Not money. So what can you do? Start by giving your technical leaders real decision-making power. Establish and communicate promotion criteria rooted in measurable outcomes. And most importantly, define and share your technical roadmap even if it’s still evolving. Here’s a quick test: ask your hiring managers to explain your tech strategy for the next year. If they hesitate, your candidates will too. The best talent sees red flags long before you do. The question is can you see what they see? #techleadership #engineeringculture #hiringstrategy #talentacquisition #scalingteams #startupgrowth

Your fired employees might be your best whistleblowers. 🤯 It sounds counterintuitive, right? Many companies skip exit interviews for terminated employees, believing they have "nothing useful to say." But what if that's a massive oversight, missing out on vital intelligence for your compliance program? In my latest blog post, I get into a the all too typical scenario: 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝗥 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀, "𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿?" 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁? I’ll explain the crucial reasons why every terminated employee deserves an exit interview, even those dismissed for cause. You'll discover: → How information from terminated employees can expose hidden misconduct and toxic culture. → A real-world example of how a fired employee's interview led to uncovering another instance of misconduct within the company. → Actionable steps for your HR and Compliance teams to implement this game-changing practice. Don't let valuable insights walk out the door! This isn't just about closure; it's about building a stronger, more resilient compliance program. 🧠 Rethink your exit interview strategy and read the full story here: https://lnkd.in/eQAAn_Ye #ExitInterview #Compliance #HR #CorporateEthics #RiskManagement #EmployeeExperience #HRBestPractices #ComplianceProgram #SpeakUpCulture #DataInsights #BusinessStrategy #ComplianceOfficer #HumanResources #Investigations #FraudPrevention #CorporateCulture 

Leaders, let me ask you something: When was the last time you truly listened during an exit interview, not just to check a box, but to uncover the real story behind why someone was walking away? Here’s the truth I’ve learned: exit interviews aren’t about saving the employee who’s leaving. They’re about saving the ones who are staying. I once had a top performer leave, and honestly, I thought it was about pay. But when I sat down and really listened, I found out the reason was trust, specifically, they didn’t feel their voice mattered in meetings. That hit me hard. That one conversation sparked three changes in how I led my team: 1. I started ending every meeting by asking for unfiltered feedback. 2. I paired new initiatives with anonymous surveys to spot blind spots faster. 3. I built a leadership roundtable to show that what gets said, gets acted on. Within 6 months, voluntary turnover in that department dropped by 37%. Why Exit Interviews Are Your Secret Weapon • They reveal patterns you’ll miss otherwise. One story is personal, but three in a row? That’s data. • They uncover what employees won’t say while they’re still on payroll. Fear of retaliation is real, even in healthy cultures. • They build your employer brand. People remember whether you cared enough to ask why. The Conflict Too many leaders dismiss exit interviews as “too late.” But here’s the conflict: if you wait until someone resigns to find out what’s broken, you’re not leading, you’re reacting. Strategic Application (What You Can Do This Month) • Block out 30 minutes for every exit interview, no exceptions. • Use 5 open-ended questions (not checkboxes) that start with What and Why. • Track themes across departments, not just individuals. • Share at least one finding with your leadership team every quarter. Clear Expectation & Promise If you apply this consistently for just 90 days, you’ll walk away with insights that no engagement survey, consultant, or HR dashboard will ever give you. For Leaders Only: If you’re serious about becoming the kind of leader who learns before it’s too late, start treating exit interviews as a mirror, not a formality. What’s one surprising thing you’ve ever learned in an exit interview? Drop it in the comments. I’d love to compare notes. ♻️ I hope you found this valuable, please share your network. 📌 Click "Follow" and 🔔 #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingCulture #EffectiveLeadership