Daily Reflection for Developing Emotional Intelligence at Work

WHO ARE YOU SHOWING UP AS? Most high-achievers excel at external relationships. Client partnerships? Mastered. Team dynamics? Second nature. Yet our relationship with ourselves? Vast, uncharted territory. (Cue the tumbleweed.) Being connected to yourself as a leader is one skill that’s often criminally underdeveloped.   But “know thyself” isn't some woo-woo concept. It’s the process of integrating years of data you’ve collected into how you show up in life. And if you’re not in tune with yourself, you’re not really leading — you’re just reacting.   So here are 5 power moves to help you get in touch with you:   🔇 The Silent Start Schedule 15 minutes of complete silence before your day begins. No phone, no email, no podcast – just you and your thoughts. Scary? Maybe. But your true self can only show up when given space to enter. So check in with yourself - how are you, what are you grateful for, what’s causing you worry, and so on. 🎯 Values in Action Instead of just listing your values, notice what situations make you feel most alive or most frustrated. These emotional cues often point to values being honored or stepped on. Pick one moment today where you felt strongly - what value was at play? Now take one tiny step to honor that value tomorrow. This quick check helps translate abstract values into daily choices that matter to you. ⚡ The Energy Map Create two columns on a piece of paper: "Lights me up" and "Dims me down." Track your activities for three days. The results often reveal exactly where you’re trading personal fulfillment for things like approval, predictability, or conformity. 😲The Big Reveal Reflect on the different aspects of your life and how you show up in each context (e.g., at work, with family, in your community). Notice where you feel most like "the real you" versus where you find yourself performing or holding back. These patterns can reveal places where you may be disconnecting from your core values. Pick one situation where you feel less authentically you and take a small step to express yourself more truthfully. 🤐 The Deep Listen:Set aside a quiet moment to listen to your inner dialogue - those running thoughts and reactions you usually brush past. Pick one authentic thought that feels a bit scary to say out loud. Then challenge yourself to voice it in a small way today, even if it's just "Actually, I see it differently..." Notice how it feels to speak with your own voice. What part of your identity feels hardest to express freely, and what's one small way you could honor it today?

One morning last week, I woke up feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and sad...😫 In the past, those emotions would spiral, affect my productivity for the rest of the day; I would even get more frustrated at myself for feeling those emotions But NOW I have created a mental gym to control my emotions rather than allowing them to control me 🙌 Here are the steps I took which completely shifted my state. Try it out next time this happens to you: 1. Accept that I am feeling these emotions, but detach my identity from the emotion. Ie: I am not a sad person, I am just feeling sadness. - There is a difference, and it will pass. 2. Write down why I began to feel these emotions; what caused it? What upset me? 3. When is the appropriate time to take action on the incident that triggered the emotions? Is there anything I can do to solve it? Put a time block on your calendar indicating when you can take action. 4. Write down 5 things I'm grateful for 5. Physically move my body (Crushed my workout with a killer playlist) 6. Write my long term goals, and visualize myself accomplishing them and feeling the emotions I would experience in this process. By the end of my physical and mental gym routine, I felt inspired, joyful, and motivated to take clear action. This approach has been transformational for me. Instead of getting stuck in negative emotions or ignoring them (making them compound). ➡️ Now, I feel empowered to handle them face on, and they actually give me more insight on how to have a more positive, productive, clear plan moving forward. I'm sharing this because I want you to know you don't have to stay stuck either. We all face challenging experiences, but you can truly turn challenges into strengths. Who else has developed strategies for managing difficult emotions? Comment below, I'd love to hear about your experience and tactics! #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalGrowth #Resilience

💡 Think EQ is soft? It’s actually a superpower. Emotional intelligence doesn’t just make you nicer. It makes you more effective: → Better decisions → Stronger relationships → Calmer leadership under pressure But EQ isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s built. One habit at a time. Here are 9 daily habits to sharpen your emotional edge: 👇 🔹 1. Start With Self-Awareness • Check in with your emotions before reacting • Notice physical cues like a tight chest or shallow breath • Journal one emotional trigger each day 🔹 2. Pause Before You React • Take a breath before replying when you feel triggered • Ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?” • Respond with intention instead of reflex. 🔹 3. Practice Active Listening • Give your full attention without planning your reply • Reflect back what you heard to show understanding • Listen for emotions, not just words. 🔹 4. Name the Emotion • Identify what you or someone else might be feeling • Say, “It sounds like you’re frustrated. Is that right?” • Don’t rush to fix it. Just acknowledge it 🔹 5. Own Your Mistakes • Admit it when you mess up without being defensive • Share what you learned and how you'll improve • Apologize clearly, without excuses 🔹 6. Seek Honest Feedback • Ask, “How did that come across to you?” • Invite input on your tone and impact • Say thank you, even if it’s uncomfortable 🔹 7. Set Boundaries Calmly • Use “I” statements to express your limits • Be clear about what you can and can’t do • Stay firm without guilt 🔹 8. Regulate Under Stress • Use breath, breaks, or movement to reset • Avoid dumping your stress on others • Notice when your patience is slipping and pause 🔹 9. Celebrate Emotional Wins • Say, “I handled that better today” when you do • Call out emotional intelligence in others • Reflect on your growth before the day ends ✨ Start with one. Then build on it. Emotional intelligence doesn’t shout. It compounds. 🧠 Which habit are you working on this week? ♻️ Repost if you're building EQ by design, not by accident. Follow me Kary Oberbrunner for more.