Toxic Work Environments

👗"Jingjin, what are you wearing right now?" The question caught me off guard. It was eight years ago. I was in the office preparing for the upcoming QBR, when my phone rang. It was our division VP. “Can you be in a client meeting this afternoon?” he asked. One of the world’s largest automotive OEMs. High stakes. 200 people are working around the clock to close the deal. I had 6 hours to prepare. My heart raced. This was the kind of meeting that could change many things! Of course, I said yes. Then came the pause. And that question: “What are you wearing right now?” "Is there a dress code?" I laughed. "Kind of..." He continued, a bit apologetically yet firmly: “I need to tell you that the president has a reputation for hitting on women. I want you to be prepared.” Suddenly, my job wasn’t just to represent the business. It was to calculate risk. To protect myself in the room. In those five hours, I still worked on my talking points. But I also asked a junior male colleague to join me, as a buffer and braced myself for inappropriate comments. The meeting went well. I delivered. There were no inappropriate comments But that experience never left me. ... If you're a woman in leadership, you need to prepare for two battles: The work, and the room. And if you're a male leader, your silence is complicity. Here’s what I now teach women privately, and what I wish someone told me earlier: 1. 🛡️ Bring your buffer.    Don’t be afraid to request someone in the room with you, not to assist you technically, but to dilute the power imbalance. It’s not weakness. It’s strategy.     2. 🚫 Pre-empt boundary crossing.    If you’re warned someone is inappropriate, name it before it happens. “Just to clarify, I’ll be focused strictly on business today.” Let them know they won’t get away with casual harassment cloaked as banter.     3. 📍Control the setting when you can.    Suggest public venues, group meetings, or shorter time slots. Private dinners and “casual drinks” are not neutral spaces. Stop feeling guilty for adjusting logistics to protect your dignity.     4. 📝 Write it down.    Any inappropriate comment, no matter how subtle, goes in your private log: date, time, what happened, and who else was there. Not because you’re planning to report it. But because memory fades, and patterns matter.     5. ⚖️ Stop normalizing it.    You’re not “too sensitive.”    You’re not imagining it.    You’re managing two jobs: your work, and your safety.    And the latter is unpaid labor.     If you're still wondering whether gender equity has arrived, ask yourself who’s planning their safety before they speak. And who just gets to speak. 👊 Until the answer is “everyone,” we’re not done.

Being Black can be so exhausting 😥 The constant justification of our existence, why it's not ok to touch our hair, challenge our ambition or threaten our lives! Secondhand racism might as well be first-hand racism because it has the same impact! I couldn't engage with the Diane Abbott story last week; it was too hard to read the comments that supported the call for her death and the generalisation of her existence leading to hate for all Black women! Every day, we walk into rooms thinking… Is my hair acceptable How can I come across as less threatening Is the bass in a voice too aggressive Will I be the only Black person in this room How can I demonstrate I am excellent There is no room for mistakes Who is my ally To judge all Black women based on an interaction with one Black woman is confirmation bias at its finest 😩 and unjustified racism at its worst😕 Being the first in spaces designed without you in mind can be an interesting dynamic! On the one hand, you can: 🙌🏿 Change the narrative 🙌🏿 Open doors for others 🙌🏿 Stand out and shine 🙌🏿 Recruit allies and sponsors But on the other hand, you can also 👀 Exposure yourself to racism and discrimination 👀 Make noticeable errors and mistakes 👀 Validate stereotypes 👀 Code switch and become unauthentic 👀 Give people an opportunity to feed their conscious bias When you are the only or the first, and you are disliked or make a mistake, the door closes for us all! We all get painted with the same brush, and we all get labelled and dismissed because of the actions of one! We have been campaigning for violence against women to stop for hundreds of years, but what happens when you are Black and a woman? You face both misogyny and racism; this is now described as misogynoir, the active discrimination, prejudice and unchecked fear explicitly aimed at black women. For you to dislike or have interactions with a Black woman, then state that that interaction or her existence makes you hate all Black women is disturbing and triggering for us all because Dianne could be any of us 😕😥👸🏾 in the workplace, at school, university, out shopping 🤷🏾♀️ Unconscious bias, pre-judgement, and stereotyping are all natural emotions that become so engrained they are often unrecognisable! And so we must actively and acutely be aware of our words, gestures, judgements and biases! Above all, we continue to rise, stand firm with our allies and challenge all the stereotypes and judgments made against us! That is not to say it's not tiring, traumatising and unfortunate to observe! More to do… 😔 📷 Grace Mansah-Owusu, PhD #unconsciousbias #bias #inclusion #confirmationbias #equity #diversityandinclusion #racism #discrimination

“Can you send the full pic?” That’s the message a woman received right after applying for a job in Noida. Let that sink in. She wasn’t chatting casually. She wasn’t on a dating app. She was applying for a job. And this isn’t some rare exception. So many women have shared similar stories — vulgar messages, inappropriate demands, creepy responses — just for wanting to work. As a woman, I am horrified. Horrified that something as basic as applying for a job now comes with fear, caution, and second thoughts. Horrified that professionalism is being reduced to predatory behaviour by a few who think they can get away with it. Is this where our society is heading? A woman can’t even apply for a job without being harassed? When women have to think twice before sharing their resumes or replying to a recruiter, we need to ask — what kind of culture are we allowing to grow? Workplaces are meant to empower, not exploit. And job seekers — no matter their gender — deserve respect, not objectification from anyone. It’s not just about awareness anymore. It’s about action. If you’re in a position to hire, lead, or build a team — set better standards. Call out this behaviour. Create safe spaces. Make it clear — this will not be tolerated. Because professionalism should never come with fear. #WorkplaceHarassment #WomenAtWork #SafeHiring #RecruitmentEthics #RespectMatters #LinkedInThoughts #SpeakUp #NotOkay Screenshot Source: Reddit LinkedIn News India

Earlier in my career, I faced blatant harassment and discrimination. When it became unbearable, I sought advice from two mentors. One urged me to document everything for potential legal action. The other advised me to quit quietly to avoid harming my career. I took the latter’s advice. Looking back, I regret it. At the time, I had options. The risk of “blowing up my career” wasn’t as dire as I believed. But my silence cost me - both my self-respect and my sense of agency. Worse, it left others without an advocate. And as Audre Lorde warned, silence didn’t protect me; I faced discrimination again. Years later, I was about to repeat that advice - until Sarah Kunst stopped me. She reminded me that telling people speaking out will ruin their careers makes them stay silent, and nothing changes. I had to ask myself: Was my fear greater than my actual risk? As a white woman, speaking up would have been far safer for me than for Kunst, a Black woman who had already overcome greater barriers. Yet she took the risk, challenging a powerful predator - and not only did she survive, she thrived. It made me realize how important it is to recognize when I have the privilege to act and to use it in a way that creates change. This isn’t to say speaking up is always safe. Many have suffered career consequences for confronting harassment. But looking back, I see the power I had and wish I had used it. If you’re in this situation, here are seven steps that can help: 1️⃣ Document what happened 2️⃣ Build solidarity by finding allies 3️⃣ Locate the exit nearest you 4️⃣ Have a direct conversation 5️⃣ Report the issue to HR 6️⃣ Take legal action 7️⃣ Tell your story publicly If you have privilege, use it to amplify voices that might otherwise be ignored. The reality is that not all stories get the same attention. Being aware of that allows us to create real solidarity and drive meaningful change. You are not alone. If you’ve spoken up - or chosen not to - what helped you decide? Read the full blog in the comments. #SpeakingUp #WorkplaceJustice #CareerGrowth #RadicalCandor

Many organizations spend time and money on brand marketing, not realizing that one of the biggest threats to their brand is the toxic individuals they keep and protect. When employees come forward or raise the flag on unethical workplace behaviors, a practice many leaders and HR departments adopt is to try to downplay the problem or silence the employee. They do so to protect leadership and the organization's reputation. While these tactics might appear to work to "contain the problem" in the short run, they are not effective down the road. The problem is not with the employees raising the flag of unethical behavior but with the people committing these behaviors within the organization. Toxic individuals do much human damage within organizations. It is impossible to deal with human damage by trying to camouflage a problem and make it look as though the target is the perpetrator. An organization is made of humans. When toxic behaviors are present and tolerated, humans can see and feel them as targets and as bystanders. This will affect their well-being and their motivation to work and stay with the organization, and it will affect their performance. Employees, as humans, are connected; when some are suffering, and the systems in place to protect them are inefficient, they lose trust in leadership and their organization. When employees trust that leadership and the organization want what is best for their employees, invest in their well-being, and are ready to act to protect them and live up to their organizational values, they want to invest in their work and their organization's success. Without trust, there is no emotional engagement; this leads to quiet quitting and turnover. When individuals are not held accountable for their unethical actions, they will keep repeating the same toxic behavior, hurting employees and, inevitably, the organization. Ignoring, hiding, or justifying unacceptable, unethical behaviors in the workplace will only increase the risk of recidivism by the perpetrator and others. We need organizations that genuinely care about their employees and walk the talk regarding creating safe workplaces. Dealing with toxic individuals takes courage and determination. While it might seem easier to ignore problems or blame targets and whistleblowers, these "solutions" are a trap, as they give more power to bullies and fraudsters. These individuals don't care about the organization and its employees; they only care about gaining power, control, and money. They will not hesitate to hurt the organization's reputation if they feel it can help them achieve their personal goals. Protecting them may seem like the "safest" solution; however, when organizations protect toxic individuals, no one is safe, including leaders and the organization's reputation. Creating positive and safe workplaces starts with dealing with unethical behavior and making perpetrators accountable. Take care of yourself and the people around you 💗

Bullies exist in boardrooms too. Over the past few months, I’ve seen a rise in clients being bullied by their boss. The troubling part? Many of these bullies look like high performers on paper. They lead teams. They smile in meetings. They hit targets and close deals. And because they deliver, they’re often protected. Corporate systems are designed to reward results, not integrity. They celebrate what is produced, not how leaders behave. It’s also common for bullies to target someone of the same sex. Early in my career, I worked with a senior female director who bullied me and several other women on a project. So many team members resigned. I was terrified to go to work and too scared to report her. Workplace bullying isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like: – Taking credit for your work – Withholding information so you fail – “Feedback” that’s actually public humiliation – Excluding you from key decisions or meetings Over time, your confidence erodes. Your performance suffers. Your career stalls. And yet, people still say: “Just ignore them.” How are we supposed to do that? Here’s a better approach: 1. Speak in impact terms – Regulate emotions. Use business language. – Link behavior to risks or missed targets. 2. Document everything – Keep a private log. Save emails, chats, meeting notes. 3. Build your allies – Strengthen relationships beyond your team. – Share wins with those who outrank your boss. 4. Get support – From HR. From a lawyer, if needed. – From a coach to plan your next move. Your confidence, career, and well-being matter. You are not the problem. And if the company won’t protect you, do what you need to protect yourself. What other advice would you give? ♻️ Repost to help your network. ➕ Follow Deena Priest for more career and leadership insights. --- Image Credit: Andrea Petrone

Hands up if you’ve been told that pain is a normal part of being a woman 🙋🏻♀️ I was 6 when I was first told “Beauty is pain” I heard this phrase so many times growing up: 🪡Getting my ears pierced 👩🏻🦱 My hair braided 🤨 Having my eyebrows plucked 👠 Learning to walk in high heels I felt like I was terrible at being a girl for not enjoying being in pain 🙈 But as i got older the message became embedded: “pain is just part of being a woman” From period pains to cervical smears, to childbirth, breastfeeding and beyond women are told that pain is normal. Our pain is ignored, normalised, dismissed. So much so that women are enduring surgical procedures with no anesthetic. Pain should never be dismissed, especially when it comes to women's health. Just because it's being normalised doesnt make it normal Our pain matters. It's time to break the cycle of silence and stigma surrounding women's pain. Raise your voice, share your story, and let's make a change. We deserve better. — #womenshealth #genderpaingap #femtech #genderhealthgap #reproductivehealth

Stop commenting on people's bodies. No one is looking for your unsolicited advice, opinion or feedback. During the last year i have received more unwarranted comments from #ffffff women than ever before. It's no secret that Black bodies make many folks uncomfortable. It's no secret that Black bodies are feared. it's no secret that Black bodies are fetishized. it's no secret that people feel "intimidated" by our bodies. Yesterday, someone reached out to me to offer advice on how I pose for pictures, and even after reminding her that I didn't ask for advice, she proceeded to give me more. Not every body is the same and not everyone will pose, take pictures or look the same- and that is okay. Too often #fffffff women feel entitled to comment on our bodies out of spite, jealousy and intimidation. They think that because eurocentric beauty standards were created with them in mind that they are the end all be all of how to look, work out and exist. Miss me with that. I have no desire to build a body that mirrors eurocentric beauty standards. I want to build a body that is strong, sustainable and *maybe* have the biggest quads in the gym. Not everyone works out to be thin. Not everyone works out to be built. Not everyone works out for the same reasons. Today is a great day to ask yourself why you feel that way. I'm not intimidating, you're intimidated, that isn't the same thing. bonus tip: the reason I look posed in my post pump picture is because I am posed, thats the point.

Unlearning Stereotypes: A Leadership Responsibility In one of my recent training sessions, we explored the subtle yet powerful impact of stereotypes in our personal and professional lives. What stood out was how deeply conditioned we are—so much so that we often accept stereotypes without ever questioning them. A video we discussed highlighted the phrase: 👉 “You lost to a girl.” A seemingly casual remark, yet it reflects a mindset that not only undermines capability but also keeps inequality alive across generations. Stereotypes are not always loud or obvious—they often sit quietly in the background, influencing decisions, interactions, and opportunities: 🤔“Men are natural leaders; women are natural nurturers.” 🤔“Introverts cannot excel in client-facing roles.” 🤔“Young employees are reckless; senior employees resist change.” The danger lies in allowing these unchecked assumptions to shape culture and leadership. To move forward, leaders and professionals must take intentional steps: 1. Self-Awareness – Notice when your thoughts or language reflect a stereotype. 2. Courage to Question – Address stereotypes when they surface in teams or conversations. 3. Inclusive Practices – Create environments that reward competence and authenticity, not labels. 4. Role Modelling – Show through your leadership that potential has no gender, age, or personality boundary. True growth—personal, professional, and organizational—comes when we stop looking through the lens of bias and start looking at people for their skills, values, and potential. As professionals and leaders, what stereotype do you think we urgently need to unlearn in today’s workplace? #InclusiveLeadership #BreakTheBias #MindsetMatters

The real abusers in an ecosystem are hard to hold to account. Since I posted about this last week, I’ve had a dozen conversations with people who’ve experienced or witnessed abuse. Their stories have similar themes and recurring characters: managers who are charming and affable in public, but scream humiliating invectives at their employees in private. Colleagues who are lecherous womanisers at work social events, targeting and harassing junior women. Everyday micro-aggressions that leave people feeling belittled, undermined, and exhausted. These individual incidents are sad. But the systems failure is sadder. Have they reported it to HR? Yes - there are multiple reports about the same person. Do the founders know? Yes, they’ve been made aware. Why don’t they do anything? The offender is a protected species. They’ve been instrumental; loyal since the early days. And removing a senior executive months before a fundraise / new product launch / IPO would really hurt the business. Could the board intervene? Well, the matter has gone to board. They think the executive should get help; go to therapy. What about the victim? What about recourse? Oh - well I guess that’s a matter for HR. Most of the time, aggressors get to keep taking up space, while those who’ve suffered at their hands opt to make themselves scarce. There’s no simple solution. People with the power to do something are conflicted and constrained. Investors not only have a personal incentive, but a fiduciary responsibility, to realise a return from their investments. Taking a stand might jeopardise the company’s prospects. The ‘power law’ nature of VC returns raises the stakes tenfold - a company on an ‘outlier’ trajectory becomes existentially important to their largest or earliest investors. The media can’t publish rumours, even credible ones, for fear of defamation lawsuits. Victims and witnesses are terrified of going on record - for fear of retaliation, an extended fight, or being perceived as ‘trouble’ by future employers. It’s irrational for anyone in the system to speak truth to power. And those with least power bear the brunt of our collective - rational - cowardice. If you’re reading this and nodding furiously, but feel like you can't speak up - I understand. But if you have the privilege to put something on the line for your values, perhaps it's time. To call out the everyday microaggressions that build a culture of permissiveness around low-level harassment. To believe people who've been bullied, abused, or assaulted. To be clear eyed that what's good for business isn't always good for people, and vice versa. To be willing to make the tradeoff anyway. If you care about this issue and want to support, I would love you to comment and reshare for visibility. #power #bullying #abuse #startups #venturecapital