Fostering A Sense Of Belonging

Climbing the leadership ladder exposes women to a tough reality. Leading authentically vs. the urge to conform. Pretending to be something you’re not will only earn you superficial respect. It may look like always adjusting your leadership style in meetings. The fear of being “too assertive” might rock the boat. Or watering down innovative ideas to fit into the traditional molds expected at your level. Every day, you might find yourself agreeing quietly in strategy sessions, even when your gut screams for a different approach. You may even be playing roles that don’t reflect your true abilities simply to fulfill outdated leadership stereotypes. The real pain comes when you realize you’re not just suppressing your voice. But denying your potential to truly lead and make an impact. True leadership comes not from playing it safe. But from knowing deeply : -who you are -what you stand for -fearlessly bringing those truths into every decision you make. With my clients, I tackle these challenges head-on, helping them to not only recognize but appreciate their unique leadership styles. We work together so they can lead with authenticity and impact without losing sight of who they are. Step into your power. Stop conforming. Start transforming. Because the world doesn't just need leaders. It needs you, fully and authentically you. #AliciaEmpowering

"I Almost Quit." Not because I wasn’t good enough. Not because I wasn’t ambitious. But because I felt alone. I looked around and saw no one like me. I second-guessed my ideas in meetings. I wondered if I even belonged in this space. And I’m not the only one. Women make up half the workforce but hold less than 30% of technical roles. And here’s the real problem: they’re leaving. 💡 Only 27.6% of the tech workforce is female 💡 Women with mentors are 77% more likely to stay 💡 Formal mentorship programs increase leadership diversity by 20% Here’s what those stats don’t show: 💡 The woman who almost quit because she felt invisible—until someone advocated for her. 💡 The junior engineer who hesitated to speak up in meetings—until a mentor gave her the confidence to own her voice. 💡 The aspiring leader didn’t see anyone who looked like her in the room—until someone pulled up a chair and made space. Mentorship isn’t just about guidance. It’s about belonging. The best mentors don’t just share knowledge—they see potential before it’s proven. They create opportunities, break down barriers, and challenge the biases that hold people back. Because sometimes, all it takes is one person who believes in you to change the trajectory of your career. PS - If you are in a leading position, make sure you make everyone feel seen.

Three simple things you can ACTUALLY do to champion more women at work (instead of just talking on LinkedIn and on conference stages 🤓) 1. When you see a topic that is your colleague's matter of expertise, cc her in on that email. "Thanks for writing to me, let me rope in Priya, she is leading the marketing aspect and she would be best placed to advise on next steps". I know your human desire to hog the spotlight gets the better of you and you worry that sharing the seat with Priya may leave lesser for you (or God forbid, not showcase you as the "expert"), but that's quite contrary to the truth. Sharing the seat with Priya shows your magnitude as a true leader. 2. In meetings, give credit where its due. Loudly and clearly. Meeting chair: Hey Kathy, so are you gonna take us through the progress of this campaign? Kathy: Yes sure I am gonna take you through the key milestones. However, there are some wins this week on the social front that I'd love for Sneha to cover, she's the one who made it happen. Its called a #bossmove 3. If there's a role you are not fit for or not keen to take on, refer another woman for it. "I know someone who'd be perfect for this role. She has 15+ years of experience across B2B and B2C across the industries you mentioned and she's a great team player. Would you like an introduction?". See? None of these are hard to do, are they? Your so-called "influence" is only worth the real "impact" you finally create. Let's not operate from a scarcity mindset: "there's so few of us, so there must be so little for the taking". Let's operate instead from the abundance mindset: "If she, I and so many others can go there together, they'd be forced to build a bigger table". Together we are infinitesimally more powerful, ladies! #womenempowerment #womeninbusiness #womenleaders #womenintech #leadership #togetherwecan

A concept that came up in coaching yesterday was the double-bind. I've spoken previously about the glass cliff, the glass ceiling, and similar terms that are helpful in giving language to inequities faced by women & women of colour in the workplace. As someone who has been labelled as 'combative' by a previous manager, it's exhausting & frustrating AF trying to navigate layers of unspoken expectations and biases while striving to remain true to oneself and succeed professionally. The double bind for women of colour is where they encounter conflicting demands or expectations that place them in a no-win situation. Here are some ways this shows up - 🎤 Assertiveness vs. Likability: there is a risk of being perceived as aggressive or abrasive. This can sometimes lead to unfair backlash that other colleagues may not face. On the other hand, if one chooses to be more reserved to avoid negative perceptions, they may seem to struggle showcasing their leadership qualities. 🎤 Professionalism vs. Authenticity: Bringing your 'whole selves' to work and highlighting cultural identities is encouraged, but this can sometimes result in facing microaggressions, tokenism or feeling like one doesn't quite fit in with the company's culture. On the flip side, downplaying cultural identity to fit in may leave them feeling disconnected and inauthentic, impacting their job satisfaction and performance. 🎤 Competence vs. Approachability: In a predominantly white or male-dominated work environment, the pressure to prove competence while also being approachable can be overwhelming. While showcasing high competence is essential, it can inadvertently intimidate colleagues (aka tall poppy syndrome) and lead to social isolation. On the other hand, focusing on being approachable and accommodating may undervalue their competence, causing them to miss out on career opportunities. 🎤 Diversity Advocate vs. Professional Identity: women of color are often expected to take on this role (often unpaid) in the workplace. This can sometimes overshadow their professional skills and career aspirations. Striking a balance between advocating for diversity and focusing on their career path can be a difficult task, as they may face criticism for not fully embracing the role. 🎤 Visibility vs. Scrutiny: The yardstick is not the same for women in leadership! While being visible is important for serving as role models, it can also subject them to higher levels of scrutiny and criticism compared to their peers. This increased scrutiny may lead them to avoid visibility, resulting in missed opportunities for career advancement. Have you faced similar experiences? How did you navigate the same? #GenderEquality #Inclusion #genderEquity #InclusionAtWork #InclusiveWorkplaces #DoubleBind #WomenOfColour

Here’s what it’s really like to start a business as a Black woman entrepreneur. ❗️You’ll get told there’s so much funding available for you, and then face difficult hurdles that make it seem like it’s not worth it. ❗️You’ll deal with all the challenges of being in the minority (only 0.1% of VC funding goes towards businesses owned by Black and Brown women) while fighting the assumption that doors will automatically open for you. ❗️You’ll have to grapple with constant change and constantly define (and redefine) what success looks like for you. But, at the end of the day -- if you stick with it -- you’ll find your voice, stay true to your purpose, and find ways to make an impact that you can be proud of. 👏🏾🎉 By sharing my story during Women’s History Month in my monthly Leading Below the Surface newsletter, I’m hoping to start a dialogue around lessons learned from women entrepreneurs, especially women of color. What are some of the most important things you’ve learned starting new businesses? Or, what are some of the lessons that have been shared with you? Let me know in the comments. #women’shistorymonth #blackwomenleaders #blackentrepreneurs #leadingbelowthesurface

Creating space for others is a fundamental part of leadership. As women leaders, we have a responsibility to open doors, elevate voices, and shape environments where more women can rise, contribute, and lead. Here are a few ways I’ve put that into practice with my own team: ➡️ Building meaningful feedback loops: Make sure women are heard in meetings, then follow up to see if their input and ideas are being carried forward. If not, help amplify them. ➡️ Recommending women for stretch projects and speaking opportunities: Visibility creates momentum, and the right opportunity can change someone’s path. ➡️ Creating space intentionally: Whether that means starting an internal community for women or advocating for them when they aren’t in the room, these actions matter. When we lead with purpose and lift others up along the way, we build not only stronger organizations but also a more inclusive future. #Leadership #Mentorship #WomenInTech

One of the communication challenges that my female clients wrestle with is how to “merge” into a work conversation that’s already happening — especially a conversation of male counterparts. In addition to our work exploring the mindsets and cultural norms that make interrupting feel like it’s not an option (which it is), we discuss enrolling allies in the meeting who will, at best, invite you into the conversation or, at least, notice when you’re trying to merge in. We also practice merging phrases such as: “Excuse me. I have something to add.” “I’m going to interrupt here. I want to share my perspective.” “Before you move on, I have something to share…” “Wait a sec; I haven’t spoken yet.” “Bill? I have something to say on this.” In your next meeting, please notice who might be trying to merge into the discussion — and invite them in. “Allie, did you have something you wanted to say?” #communication #leadership #womenleaders #DEIB #genderequity #meetings #allyship

There’s been a lot written about how founders are treated differently, particularly when it comes to gender. And here’s what I know: the playing field is far from level. Female founders are often held to higher standards, questioned more, and supported less. We’re expected to prove ourselves in ways that our male counterparts are not. We’re put under a microscope, often as a way for those in power to assert who’s in charge in their minds. How dare she outshine me or do what I cannot? That’s not to say that male founders don’t face challenges or stereotypes like the “he can’t take it home” narrative, but for women, the scrutiny is far more intense and frequent. And that’s not to say that all men are this way or that all investors are this way either. But the type of investors that I am describing are definitely active. Yet, despite these challenges, female founders persist. We build, we innovate, and we lead. The reality is that the system may not always be fair, but that's exactly why we must keep pushing, breaking barriers, and holding those who perpetuate these double standards accountable. Because when we rise, we bring others with us. #FemaleFounders #Leadership #Innovation #BreakTheBias #WomenInBusiness #Hint #LevelThePlayingField

🤔 “𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭.” I recently had a conversation with a woman in tech, and she made this observation. It stuck with me—𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫. In many rooms, women’s voices can seem quieter—not because they lack ideas or expertise, but because of systemic dynamics: 💬 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Women are often conditioned to tentative speech and action, conflict avoidance, and people-pleasing. 👥 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐚𝐩𝐬: Being one of the few women in the room can amplify feelings of hesitation.  🌟 𝐁𝐢𝐚𝐬: Sometimes, women’s contributions are undervalued, leading to fewer opportunities to speak up. But here’s the thing: When women do speak, they bring perspective, insight, and innovation to the table—often addressing gaps that others might overlook. So, what can we do? ✅ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞: Leaders and peers can encourage and invite women to share their ideas.  ✅ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬: Are we unconsciously interrupting, talking over, or dismissing voices?  ✅ 𝐀𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬: Celebrate and highlight contributions in meetings and beyond.  ✅ 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞: Support women in building confidence and visibility. This conversation reminded me how much we all benefit when every voice is heard. To all the women in tech and beyond: Your voice is powerful. Keep using it. To everyone else: Let’s make sure we’re listening. What strategies have you seen that help elevate voices in the workplace? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ⬇️  #womenintech #empowerment

I watched a top female executive apologize three separate times in one meeting last week. Not for mistakes—for having opinions. After 20+ years working with women leaders, I've uncovered an uncomfortable truth: 80% of women's leadership communities focus on "fixing women" rather than fixing broken systems. • "Speak up more in meetings" • "Be more assertive (but not too assertive)" • "Here's how to navigate office politics" The subtext? The system is fine. You're the problem. I fell into this trap early in my career. I attended workshops on executive presence, voice modulation, and "strategic visibility." I practiced power poses in bathroom stalls before big meetings. I thought I needed fixing. What I actually needed was to recognize that the game itself is rigged, not my ability to play it. This revelation changed everything about how I approach leadership development for women. When I created herSpace at oxygen4Leadership, I built it on this core principle: Women don't need fixing. Systems do. Our community: • Identifies systemic barriers embedded in "normal" workplace practices • Provides collective strategies for challenging these structures • Creates safe spaces for authentic leadership without constant self-monitoring • Celebrates your strengths rather than highlighting perceived "deficiencies" The executive I mentioned? In our session today, we didn't work on her "apologetic communication style." Instead, we mapped the meeting dynamics that created an environment where she felt compelled to apologize for contributing. The solution wasn't in her behavior. It was in addressing the system. Have you noticed yourself trying to "fix" your leadership style to fit a broken system? What would change if you redirected that energy toward changing the system itself? If you're tired of communities that subtly blame women for not advancing, join us at herSpace. We're building something different - Link in the comments. #WomenInLeadership #SystemicChange #AuthenticLeadership #HerspaceLeadership #GenderEquality