Facilitating Team Discussions with Care

Ever been on a team that's too quiet? Not focused-quiet. But hesistant-to-speak-up quiet. I once worked with a leader whose motto was: "Silence is 100% agreement." We would chuckle politely. Our silence wasn't agreement. It was fear. Here's what I've learned after nearly two decades coaching people leaders. People don't need to find their voice. They need to feel safe using it. Here are 6 ways to create that safety, without forcing anyone to speak before they're ready: 1. Listen to learn ↳ Pause before responding: "Help me understand your thinking on…" ↳ Reflect back: "Here's what I heard, did I get that right?" ↳ Let people know when their input reshapes your thinking 2. Build confidence before the spotlight ↳ Pair teammates as "thinking partners" to test ideas before meetings ↳ Use 1:1s to help less vocal members frame input as exploratory questions ↳ Normalize iterations. "What if we considered…" often sparks breakthroughs. 3. Model transparent communication ↳ Share your thinking: "Here's my view and why I see it this way…" ↳ Be open about uncertainty. It gives others permission to speak ↳ It's okay to change your mind in public when presented with strong alternatives 4. Facilitate solution-building sessions ↳ Ask: "What would success look like for everyone involved?" ↳ Use "Yes, and…" to build momentum, not shut it down ↳ Try brainstorm rules: build on others' ideas before introducing new ones 5. Disagree without making it personal ↳ Start with: "We're debating the approach, not anyone's expertise" ↳ Use neutral framing: "There are different perspectives here" ↳ Keep feedback focused on outcomes and impact, not personality 6. Make space for the quiet thinkers ↳ End with: "Let's reflect for 24 hours before deciding" ↳ Send pre-reads with clear reflection prompts ↳ Start key conversations with a few minutes of silent thinking When you shift from demanding participation to designing for it, you're not just changing meetings. You're redefining how power flows through your organization. How do you create space for insight that isn't loud? ♻️ Feel free to share if you're working toward conversations where every voice has room. ➕ If you lead people, this space is for you. Follow me, Michelle Awuku-Tatum for insights on: ↳ Human-centered leadership, resilient teams, and intentional culture.

I regularly work with leadership teams to help them be more effective with their team dynamics and/or culture. One topic that comes up frequently? Nearly every team I work with wants to be great at giving and receiving feedback. Here’s what I notice about teams that have great feedback cultures: When something goes wrong, they don’t have side conversations. Many times, we get in the habit of venting to one of our peers about something challenging going on within the team. Why is this harmful to team dynamics? When we don’t openly talk about challenges with the whole team, it creates invisible barriers for others on the team. If we don’t tell someone we’re frustrated about something, we don’t give them the opportunity to make a needed change. We vent to a peer, feel slightly better, then let it go. We don’t share it, so nothing changes. Inevitably, the pattern returns and we get frustrated again. We go back to venting. We seemingly let it go. But it builds our frustrations and deteriorates trust. Rinse and repeat this vicious cycle. Now that trust is low, we have a hard time opening any feedback. We build walls and the team starts to operate with less efficiency, transparency, and information. So how do we break this cycle? The healthiest and most effective teams have built-in places for open feedback. They regularly talk about challenges. They know that talking about challenges, even when it’s hard, builds trust in the long run instead of breaking it. Instead of going to people within the team to vent, they openly talk about the challenges with the whole team. They hold each other accountable to not having side conversations or meetings-after-the-meeting. Here are three ways to build in regular, safe spaces for feedback into your team operations: 1️⃣ Build in questions to your 1-on-1s to ask things like: “What is one thing I could be doing differently to support you right now?” 2️⃣ Put retro conversations into your team meetings. Regularly ask the team - “What should we be starting, stopping, or continuing right now?” (Google retroactive meeting templates to get more ideas on questions you can ask!) 3️⃣ Instead of focusing on how to GIVE feedback to people as a leader, focus on how you RECEIVE feedback. Do a leadership skill gap analysis. Write down: When someone shares something challenging with you, how do you currently react to feedback? Then write down: How do you want to react when someone gives you feedback? Where’s the gap and what’s one step you could take toward closing that gap? What do you think? What do you think the best teams do to create great feedback cultures?

I used to struggle to share my ideas in meetings bustling with dominant voices. Not because I was scared, but because I never felt comfortable. Ouch. My seniors and peers often told me: "Speak up, have a presence, be bold!" Well-intentioned advice. But the brutal truth was that I didn’t feel psychologically safe. So when I took on the role of a people manager, I became the leader I needed. I took on a mission to create a safe space where every team member could share their brilliance, their quirks, their questions, their doubts and feel heard. Here are 3 rarely-used strategies I adopted: ✅ Silent brainstorming: I replaced vocal discussions with written ideas; preventing the loudest voice from dominating. We'd share our thoughts by ideating in silence and voting together.🚀 The best part? No one knew whose idea was winning, leveling the playing field for diverse perspectives. ✅One-pagers for every meeting: People process information differently. To include everyone, I ensured every meeting had a one-pager for context and a list of attendees. This way, team members could prepare in their own way, and those who felt their presence wasn't essential could choose to opt-out. ✅ Mini Workshops > Meetings: These mini workshops were designed to encourage deep thinking, collaborative brainstorming, and silent reflection. Everyone had their moment to shine. We always left with 1-3 actionable takeaways — co-created and ready for implementation. 🚀 In the end, it wasn't about changing my personality; it was about embracing it and finding innovative ways to lead effectively. 💪 By creating a safe space for my team, I not only unlocked their potential but also learned the true power of silence in a world that often favors the loudest voices. What do you think about this leadership style? #leadership #product #teammanagement #womenintech #productmanagement #productmanager

Managing conflict in my team is never easy but it's part of the job. Handling conflict within my team is a task that comes with its set of challenges, but it's essential for keeping the team functional and happy. Here's how I typically go about running a team meeting to address conflict: 1. Recognizing the Source: First, I identify what's causing the conflict. Before we even sit down for a meeting, I pinpoint what's causing the issue by talking to everyone involved. This usually involves speaking privately with the team members involved to understand their viewpoints. 2. Establish Objectives: Before calling the meeting, I define what we aim to achieve. Is it conflict resolution, finding a middle ground, or simply airing out grievances? Knowing the objective helps structure the conversation. 3. Set Guidelines: I establish ground rules for the meeting to ensure a safe space. This includes allowing everyone to speak without interruption and keeping the conversation respectful and on-point. 4. Facilitate Dialogue: During the meeting, I act as a facilitator rather than a dictator. I guide the conversation, ensure everyone has a say, and keep the discussion focused on the issue, not personal attacks. 5. Reach an Agreement: Once everyone has had their say, we work towards a solution. This is usually a compromise that may not satisfy everyone entirely but serves the greater good of the team. 6. Action Plan: We end the meeting by laying out an action plan, defining who will do what, by when, to resolve the issue. 7. Follow-Up: A few days to a week after the meeting, I follow up with the individuals involved and the team as a whole to ensure that the action items are being implemented and to see if the conflict has been resolved or reduced. By approaching conflict with a structured, open dialogue, and a focus on resolution, I find we can often turn what could be a divisive issue into an opportunity for team growth. "The best way to resolve conflicts is facing them, not avoiding them." Have a Positive, Productive and Safe Day! #TeamConflict #ConflictResolution #Leadership #TeamGrowth #EffectiveCommunication

Real conversations at work feel rare. Lately, in my work with employees and leaders, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: real conversations don’t happen. Instead, people get stuck in confrontation, cynicism, or silence. This pattern reminded me of a powerful chart I often use with executives to talk about this. It shows that real conversations—where tough topics are discussed productively—only happen when two things are present: high psychological safety and strong relationships. Too often, teams fall into one of these traps instead: (a) Cynicism (low safety, low relationships)—where skepticism and disengagement take over. (b) Omerta (low safety, high relationships)—where people stay silent to keep the peace. (c) Confrontation (high safety, low relationships)—where people speak up but without trust, so nothing moves forward. There are three practical steps to create real conversations that turn constructive discrepancies into progress: (1) Create a norm of curiosity. Ask, “What am I missing?” instead of assuming you’re right. Curiosity keeps disagreements productive instead of combative. (2) Balance candor with care. Being direct is valuable—but only when paired with genuine respect. People engage when they feel valued, not attacked. (3) Make it safe to challenge ideas. Model the behavior yourself: invite pushback, thank people for disagreeing, and reward those who surface hard truths. When safety is high, people contribute without fear. Where do you see teams getting stuck? What has helped you foster real conversations? #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #Communication #Trust #Teamwork #Learning #Disagreement