Creating Opportunities for Team Reflection

Most teams don’t get better because they don’t take time to debrief. Last year, I had the honor of doing a bunch of leadership development work alongside my dear friend and amigo, Michael French. He’s a multi-time founder with successful exits, a fantastic family, and a heart of gold. One of the most powerful tools we taught together (really he, Michael O'Brien, and Admiral Mike McCabe taught, and I amplified in my sessions) was the concept of a Topgun-style debrief — and then we practiced it ourselves after every single session as a group. It’s a simple but transformative ritual. After every experience, we’d ask each other: What went well? What could have gone better? And what actions will we take to be even better next time? That’s it. Just three questions. But when asked in a space of trust, it opens the door to continuous improvement, honest reflection, and shared learning. The coolest part? Michael started doing it at home with his son — and now his son comes home from school excited to debrief the day with his dad. That’s when you know the tool is working. The origins of this approach go back to the Navy Fighter Weapons School — better known as Topgun. In the 1960s, Navy pilots were underperforming in air combat. So they changed the way they trained. But more importantly, they changed the way they debriefed. They created a culture of constructive, positive, inclusive performance reviews — grounded in trust, openness, and the pursuit of excellence. Led to a 400% improvement in pilot effectiveness. The philosophy was clear: the debrief is not about blame or fault-finding. It’s not about who “won” the debrief. It’s about learning. It’s about getting better — together. The tone is collaborative, supportive, and often informal. The goal is to build a culture of reflection where people feel safe enough to speak, to listen, and to grow. Most organizations only do debriefs when something goes wrong. But if we wait for failure to reflect, we miss all the micro-moments that help us move from good to great. Excellence isn’t a destination. It’s a mindset. It’s the discipline of always being open to improvement — even when things are going well. Especially when things are going well. So here’s my nudge to you: give this a try. Whether it’s with your team, your family, your partner, or just yourself at the end of the day — ask those three simple questions. What went well? What could have gone better? And what actions can we take to be even better next time? Let me know if you do. I’d love to hear how it goes.

I once had a team of insecure overachiever analysts. They were introverts, brilliant at their work, and incredibly nice people. Too nice, as it turned out. They were so nice that they wouldn't tell each other what was really going on. Instead, they'd come to me: "So-and-so is doing this thing that's really annoying. Can you do something about it?" I got sick of everyone putting me in the middle instead of taking ownership of their issues with each other. So I did something about it. I brought in trainers from the Center for Creative Leadership to teach everyone the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model (link in comments). The process was simple but powerful: 1. Describe the situation so everyone's on the same page. 2. Share the specific behavior you observed (no judgments about intent). 3. Explain the impact on you or the other people in the room. We started with positive feedback to create safety. We practiced saying things like, “When you walked into that meeting with a big smile, the impact was that it put everyone at ease." Everyone started spotlighting the good that was happening, and that encouraged more thoughtful interactions. Then, we practiced constructive feedback—harder, but even more important. The impact was almost immediate. Soon, I heard people asking each other, "Hey, can I give you an SBI?" The framework made it safe. More importantly, we came to give and receive feedback for the gift that it is. That ability to give and receive honest, thoughtful feedback is the foundation of every healthy team culture. But it's a skill we rarely train for. I’m curious: What frameworks have you used in your organizations to create a culture of feedback?

Ever been on a team that's too quiet? Not focused-quiet. But hesistant-to-speak-up quiet. I once worked with a leader whose motto was: "Silence is 100% agreement." We would chuckle politely. Our silence wasn't agreement. It was fear. Here's what I've learned after nearly two decades coaching people leaders. People don't need to find their voice. They need to feel safe using it. Here are 6 ways to create that safety, without forcing anyone to speak before they're ready: 1. Listen to learn ↳ Pause before responding: "Help me understand your thinking on…" ↳ Reflect back: "Here's what I heard, did I get that right?" ↳ Let people know when their input reshapes your thinking 2. Build confidence before the spotlight ↳ Pair teammates as "thinking partners" to test ideas before meetings ↳ Use 1:1s to help less vocal members frame input as exploratory questions ↳ Normalize iterations. "What if we considered…" often sparks breakthroughs. 3. Model transparent communication ↳ Share your thinking: "Here's my view and why I see it this way…" ↳ Be open about uncertainty. It gives others permission to speak ↳ It's okay to change your mind in public when presented with strong alternatives 4. Facilitate solution-building sessions ↳ Ask: "What would success look like for everyone involved?" ↳ Use "Yes, and…" to build momentum, not shut it down ↳ Try brainstorm rules: build on others' ideas before introducing new ones 5. Disagree without making it personal ↳ Start with: "We're debating the approach, not anyone's expertise" ↳ Use neutral framing: "There are different perspectives here" ↳ Keep feedback focused on outcomes and impact, not personality 6. Make space for the quiet thinkers ↳ End with: "Let's reflect for 24 hours before deciding" ↳ Send pre-reads with clear reflection prompts ↳ Start key conversations with a few minutes of silent thinking When you shift from demanding participation to designing for it, you're not just changing meetings. You're redefining how power flows through your organization. How do you create space for insight that isn't loud? ♻️ Feel free to share if you're working toward conversations where every voice has room. ➕ If you lead people, this space is for you. Follow me, Michelle Awuku-Tatum for insights on: ↳ Human-centered leadership, resilient teams, and intentional culture.