Creating an Atmosphere of Respect in Meetings

I once worked with a team that was, quite frankly, toxic. The same two team members routinely derailed meeting agendas. Eye-rolling was a primary form of communication. Side conversations overtook the official discussion. Most members had disengaged, emotionally checking out while physically present. Trust was nonexistent. This wasn't just unpleasant—it was preventing meaningful work from happening. The transformation began with a deceptively simple intervention: establishing clear community agreements. Not generic "respect each other" platitudes, but specific behavioral norms with concrete descriptions of what they looked like in practice. The team agreed to norms like "Listen to understand," "Speak your truth without blame or judgment," and "Be unattached to outcome." For each norm, we articulated exactly what it looked like in action, providing language and behaviors everyone could recognize. More importantly, we implemented structures to uphold these agreements. A "process observer" role was established, rotating among team members, with the explicit responsibility to name when norms were being upheld or broken during meetings. Initially, this felt awkward. When the process observer first said, "I notice we're interrupting each other, which doesn't align with our agreement to listen fully," the room went silent. But within weeks, team members began to self-regulate, sometimes even catching themselves mid-sentence. Trust didn't build overnight. It grew through consistent small actions that demonstrated reliability and integrity—keeping commitments, following through on tasks, acknowledging mistakes. Meeting time was protected and focused on meaningful work rather than administrative tasks that could be handled via email. The team began to practice active listening techniques, learning to paraphrase each other's ideas before responding. This simple practice dramatically shifted the quality of conversation. One team member later told me, "For the first time, I felt like people were actually trying to understand my perspective rather than waiting for their turn to speak." Six months later, the transformation was remarkable. The same team that once couldn't agree on a meeting agenda was collaboratively designing innovative approaches to their work. Conflicts still emerged, but they were about ideas rather than personalities, and they led to better solutions rather than deeper divisions. The lesson was clear: trust doesn't simply happen through team-building exercises or shared experiences. It must be intentionally cultivated through concrete practices, consistently upheld, and regularly reflected upon. Share one trust-building practice that's worked well in your team experience. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n

After working with 353 companies in the last ten years, we've found that it’s not too much conflict that kills teams. It’s the fear of having any at all. Disagreeing well is one of the most important—and most overlooked—skills we now teach for today’s workplace. We put so much emphasis on teams "connecting well" and feeling "safe and seen". But what about disagreeing well, challenging each other in a safe way. Time after time, we hear our clients say that their people stay silent in meetings, avoid giving feedback, or default to just saying “thank you” when what they really mean is “I disagree but don’t know how to say it.” Last week alone, we were on a discovery call with a client and I asked what the team lead wanted out of our potential workshop: “I really want them to learn how to disagree professionally.” That’s it. Not how to avoid conflict. Not how to sugarcoat it. Just how to do it well (as a mature adult), and challenge someone’s idea without actually making them feel like they’re being challenged. We invented a method three years ago called Inquisitive Empathy to help teams do just that. At the core of it is this idea: when in doubt, ask better questions. Not accusatory questions. Not questions loaded with hidden judgments. But curious, calibrated questions that start with What or How. Not Why. Questions like: “What outcome were you hoping for?” or “How do you see this working across teams?” These questions help people feel seen, not attacked. They create space for reflection instead of reaction. And they open the door for mutual understanding—even in moments of tension. When people learn how to disagree well, everything changes. Conversations go deeper. Ideas improve. Respect grows. And most importantly, people stop avoiding the hard stuff—and start leaning into it, together.

We’ve all experienced those team meetings that don’t go as planned.  But what if I told you there’s a powerful way to turn things around? That power is respect. I once had a team divided over a project’s direction. Instead of choosing sides, I decided to listen. 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 listen. I gave everyone my full attention and showed them that their opinions mattered. What happened next was incredible. The anger melted away. People started building on each other's ideas instead of tearing them down. We found common ground and suddenly, we weren't enemies. We were problem-solvers working towards the same goal. Respect isn’t just about being polite. It’s about truly valuing each other’s viewpoints, even when you disagree. It connects different perspectives and turns conflicts into opportunities for growth. So, the next time tensions rise, try this: 1. Create a safe space for open discussion. 2. Listen without interrupting. 3. Validate feelings, even if you disagree. 4. Look for shared goals. 5. Build on ideas instead of shooting them down. Lead with respect, and watch how it transforms your team. It’s not just about resolving one conflict. It’s about creating a culture where creativity and collaboration thrive.

Early in my career, I worked with two very different leaders within the same company. Under the first, team meetings were silent affairs where new ideas were often met with criticism. We stopped contributing. When I moved teams, my new manager actively encouraged input and acknowledged every suggestion, even the imperfect ones. Our productivity and innovation skyrocketed. This experience taught me the power of psychological safety. That feeling that you won't be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, or concerns. Here are three concrete ways leaders can foster psychological safety in meetings: 1. Practice "Yes, and..." thinking. Replace "That won't work because..." with "Yes, and we could address that challenge by..." This simple language shift acknowledges contributions while building on ideas rather than shutting them down. 2. Create equal airtime. Actively notice who's speaking and who isn't. Try techniques like round-robin input or asking quieter team members directly: "Alyzah, we haven't heard your perspective yet. What are your thoughts?" 3. Normalize vulnerability by modeling it. Share your own mistakes and what you learned. When leaders say "I was wrong" or "I don't know, let's figure it out together," it gives everyone permission to be imperfect. AA✨ #PsychologicalSafety #InclusiveLeadership #WorkplaceBelonging