Addressing Team Anxiety During Discussions

Ever been on a team that's too quiet? Not focused-quiet. But hesistant-to-speak-up quiet. I once worked with a leader whose motto was: "Silence is 100% agreement." We would chuckle politely. Our silence wasn't agreement. It was fear. Here's what I've learned after nearly two decades coaching people leaders. People don't need to find their voice. They need to feel safe using it. Here are 6 ways to create that safety, without forcing anyone to speak before they're ready: 1. Listen to learn ↳ Pause before responding: "Help me understand your thinking on…" ↳ Reflect back: "Here's what I heard, did I get that right?" ↳ Let people know when their input reshapes your thinking 2. Build confidence before the spotlight ↳ Pair teammates as "thinking partners" to test ideas before meetings ↳ Use 1:1s to help less vocal members frame input as exploratory questions ↳ Normalize iterations. "What if we considered…" often sparks breakthroughs. 3. Model transparent communication ↳ Share your thinking: "Here's my view and why I see it this way…" ↳ Be open about uncertainty. It gives others permission to speak ↳ It's okay to change your mind in public when presented with strong alternatives 4. Facilitate solution-building sessions ↳ Ask: "What would success look like for everyone involved?" ↳ Use "Yes, and…" to build momentum, not shut it down ↳ Try brainstorm rules: build on others' ideas before introducing new ones 5. Disagree without making it personal ↳ Start with: "We're debating the approach, not anyone's expertise" ↳ Use neutral framing: "There are different perspectives here" ↳ Keep feedback focused on outcomes and impact, not personality 6. Make space for the quiet thinkers ↳ End with: "Let's reflect for 24 hours before deciding" ↳ Send pre-reads with clear reflection prompts ↳ Start key conversations with a few minutes of silent thinking When you shift from demanding participation to designing for it, you're not just changing meetings. You're redefining how power flows through your organization. How do you create space for insight that isn't loud? ♻️ Feel free to share if you're working toward conversations where every voice has room. ➕ If you lead people, this space is for you. Follow me, Michelle Awuku-Tatum for insights on: ↳ Human-centered leadership, resilient teams, and intentional culture.

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

CEOs, your impact and influence as a cultural architect trickle down into even the smallest interactions. That means you shape the very bedrock of psychological safety within your organization. Why? There’s a power dynamic in every room. As the leader, you are first among equals, yet your mere presence dictates the power dynamic. Positional power is consolidated in your hands. What you say and do can draw people out or make them recoil with anxiety and fear. Take the opportunity to deliberately design that dynamic. If you induce fear, seek admiration, or allow hierarchy to outrank truth, you abdicate your role. But if you nurture psychological safety to unleash the room, you magnify your role and scale your influence and impact. How do you do it? I have 10 suggestions: 1. Assign someone else to conduct the meeting. Visibly redistribute power by leveling yourself down to be more of a player-coach. 2. Don’t sit at the head of the table. In many physical settings, seating reflects the hierarchy, but you can disrupt those rituals. 3. Create warmth and informality. Create an atmosphere of psychological safety to convey warmth and encourage collaboration. 4. Model acts of vulnerability. You have a first-mover obligation to model acts of vulnerability to give others permission to do the same. 5. Stimulate inquiry before advocacy. If you move from asking questions to advocating your position too soon, it softly censors your team and signals the end of the discussion. 6. Reward challenges to the status quo. If you encourage them, your team can help you see your blind spots and tell you when you’re missing. 7. Push back with humor and enthusiasm. Humor and enthusiasm inject excitement into the process and encourage rigorous debate. 8. Buffer strong personalities. Your job is to create a shame- and embarrassment-free environment. 9. Listen and pause. When you do this in the presence of other members of your organization, you send a clear message that the individual matters. 10. Give highly targeted praise and recognition. Don’t withhold or be stingy with it. I'm curious, what would you add to the list? How are your leaders intentionally creating psychological safety in their interactions with others? #psychologicalsafety #4stages #leadershipdevelopment

I used to struggle to share my ideas in meetings bustling with dominant voices. Not because I was scared, but because I never felt comfortable. Ouch. My seniors and peers often told me: "Speak up, have a presence, be bold!" Well-intentioned advice. But the brutal truth was that I didn’t feel psychologically safe. So when I took on the role of a people manager, I became the leader I needed. I took on a mission to create a safe space where every team member could share their brilliance, their quirks, their questions, their doubts and feel heard. Here are 3 rarely-used strategies I adopted: ✅ Silent brainstorming: I replaced vocal discussions with written ideas; preventing the loudest voice from dominating. We'd share our thoughts by ideating in silence and voting together.🚀 The best part? No one knew whose idea was winning, leveling the playing field for diverse perspectives. ✅One-pagers for every meeting: People process information differently. To include everyone, I ensured every meeting had a one-pager for context and a list of attendees. This way, team members could prepare in their own way, and those who felt their presence wasn't essential could choose to opt-out. ✅ Mini Workshops > Meetings: These mini workshops were designed to encourage deep thinking, collaborative brainstorming, and silent reflection. Everyone had their moment to shine. We always left with 1-3 actionable takeaways — co-created and ready for implementation. 🚀 In the end, it wasn't about changing my personality; it was about embracing it and finding innovative ways to lead effectively. 💪 By creating a safe space for my team, I not only unlocked their potential but also learned the true power of silence in a world that often favors the loudest voices. What do you think about this leadership style? #leadership #product #teammanagement #womenintech #productmanagement #productmanager

If your people are reaching out to me with frustrations about your leadership, culture, or a toxic work environment, it's a sign that there are significant challenges ahead. After I speak at events on the infinite ROI of leading with care, I often receive messages from audience members struggling with toxic managers or leaders who make work unbearable. What truly breaks my heart is that these individuals want nothing more than to do their best work, grow, and contribute. A major factor behind these frustrations is the lack of psychological safety. When people don't feel safe voicing their opinions, sharing feedback, or speaking up to their leaders, they turn to people like me for advice, unsure of how to navigate their own workplace. (But in reality, they should always feel comfortable speaking to their leader to work through those challenges... But lack of safety is preventing that.) Here are 3 actionable steps to create a safer environment where your people can thrive: 1) Communicate Your Commitment: Reassure your team that you genuinely care about their well-being and the company's success. Let them know you’re open to feedback and that their job security is a priority. 2) Enable Anonymous Feedback: Establish a system where employees can provide anonymous feedback at any time, fostering honesty without fear of repercussions. 3) Schedule Regular One-on-One Feedback Sessions: Make space each quarter for one-on-one meetings where your team can give you candid and constructive feedback. Remember, these conversations should be a two-way street. Without safety, your people can't perform at their best. Start implementing these steps today to foster a healthier, more collaborative work environment.