Tips for Building a Mentor Relationship

Here's my "Never ask for a mentor" framework that led to: - Mentorship from an NYC food entrepreneur - Writing for Ryan Holiday - My first 6-figure job - $2k to speak with zero experience - Getting on top business podcasts (before I had a business) - Moving from teaching to tech - Quitting my job and going solo I know this is going to help people: 1. Never use the "M" word - Never ever ever ever (ever) ask someone to be your "mentor" - This creates instant pressure - Start with a specific, thoughtful question about their work - Show you've done your homework on their background - Ask one simple question that will help you (that they can answer is less than 60 seconds) - Be SPECIFIC (Not "whats your best tip for somebody starting out..") - Keep initial outreach brief and respectful of their time 2. Take their advice and ACTUALLY DO IT - This is where 99% of people fail - When someone gives you advice, implement it immediately - Don't wait for perfect conditions - just execute - Document your process and results 3. Circle back with results - Return with "I tried what you suggested and here's what happened..." - Be honest about both successes and failures - Express genuine gratitude for their guidance - Nobody does this - they'll be genuinely surprised 4. Use that momentum to ask the next question - This creates natural permission to continue the conversation - Each exchange builds more trust and access - Focus on quality questions that show you're serious - Create a cycle of value exchange rather than a one-sided relationship 5. Repeat consistently - Continue this loop with multiple people in your industry - Be patient - relationships build over time - Gradually deepen connections through consistent follow-through That's basically it. People love seeing their advice put into action. While everyone else is asking for mentorship and doing nothing with it, you'll stand out by simply following through. Do this enough times and you'll build a network that creates true freedom - freedom where you will always have work if/when you want it and a support network that lasts a lifetime. Any questions? Was this helpful?

Finding a great mentor can be hard. Being a great mentee is easier. I realized this when I learned it’s not my mentor’s responsibility to mentor. It’s my responsibility to seek mentorship and make the most of it. Guiding the conversation with your mentor is one of the most impactful ways to elicit their wisdom and gain a new perspective on your challenges. Here are 3 simple and impactful ways to be a great mentee and make the most of your mentoring sessions: 1. Share what you’re working on If you’re working on a project and need guidance, or you’re working on a soft skill and want to know how to refine it, tell them about it and be specific. It helps your mentor get laser-focused on providing you feedback that’s actionable and meaningful. 2. Get a bit deeper Don’t stay on the surface. Many of the things we need guidance on (i.e. leading teams, having a difficult conversation, influencing others, etc.) are those things that may have invisible scripts holding us back. Those little voices in our heads feed our self-doubt. Being open and vulnerable helps your mentor better understand you, which helps tailor their advice or wisdom to your specific needs. 3. Take action and let them know how it goes Mentors give advice and provide perspectives, but sometimes they don’t know how it translates to you and your situation. If your mentor shares a piece of advice, a book to read, or a person to connect with; let them know how it goes. If it worked, share it with them. If it didn’t work, share it with them. Great mentors adjust and find other ways that could be helpful, but it helps to give them feedback on how it went. The impact of having a great mentor compounds over time. Many people look for great mentors, yet there’s less emphasis on being a great mentee. The relationship’s success is as much your responsibility as it is theirs. And it’s much easier to find a great mentor if you are a great mentee. 

This is Probably the WORST Thing You Can Do with Your Mentor: Following Their Lead. Let me explain: Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to have incredible mentors who shaped my journey. Each of my mentors have added innumerably to my growth and learning, and I’m endlessly thankful to them. However, I’ve also learned a crucial lesson: you won’t get the best out of your mentor if you're not in charge of your own learning & development. You can have the best mentor by your side but if you're unable to discover yourself, you'll never kearn a thing. Here’s the biggest misconception about mentorship: People believe that a mentor's role is solely to lead. While guidance is essential, the best mentors are those who follow the lead of their mentees. Instead of dropping vague gems of wisdom every once in a while, they take time to understand your aspirations and help you reach new heights. Write it down and never forget: A mentor’s job is not to dictate your path, but collaborate with you on your journey. If you’re lucky enough to find a mentor, here’s are 8 ways in which you can get the most out of that relationship: 1/ Ask Tough Questions: Don’t shy away from challenging discussions. I always appreciated when my mentors provide honest feedback. It helped me refine my vision towards my business. 2/ Paint the Bigger Picture: Help your mentor understand the long-term vision you’re working towards. When they see the bigger picture, they can provide insights that help you with your goals. 3/ Create a Comfortable Space: Provide an environment where your mentor feels comfortable challenging you. Be open to their perspectives, and encourage them to push you beyond your limits. 4/ Be Proactive: Take the initiative in scheduling meetings and setting agendas. Show your mentor that you're committed and ready to take a leap with them. 5/ Set Clear Goals: Clearly outline what you hope to achieve through the mentorship. This helps both you and your mentor stay focused and measure progress. 6/ Act on Feedback: When your mentor provides advice, make sure to implement it and report back on the results. This will help build a relationship of mutual trust with your mentor. 7/ Share Your Wins and Challenges: Keep your mentor updated on your progress, both successes and setbacks. This allows them to offer tailored advice and encouragement, and it fosters a deeper connection. 8/ Network on Their Behalf: Introduce your mentor to your connections or offer to help them in their endeavors. Mentorship can be reciprocal, and showing appreciation through support can strengthen your relationship. Let’s repeat it once again: the Best mentorship is actually collaboration. If you’re ready to invest in your development, you’ll find that the right mentor can open doors and inspire you in ways you never imagined. #Mentorship #Leadership #CareerDevelopment #ProfessionalGrowth #Mentors