The Importance of Reciprocity in Networking

The competition isn't your enemy. Your biggest threat might be ignoring your allies. Many see business as a zero-sum game. But what if the key to success isn't outcompeting others, but lifting them up? In the agency world, where client acquisition is fierce, I've discovered a powerful truth: Focusing on allies is better than racing to the bottom over competitors. It's about creating an ecosystem of mutual benefit, not just a client list. Here are three recent examples from growing Etereo, our design subscription service, that illustrate the power of reciprocity: ▶ Unexpected Partnerships - A political strategy firm I've collaborated with for years became intrigued by Etereo. Instead of viewing them as potential competition, we struck a deal: marketing support for them, promotion for us. Result? They're now one of our highest-paying client/referral. ▶ Clients as Growth Engines - By prioritizing exceptional service and understanding our clients' needs deeply, they've become our best advocates. They not only refer new business but also increase their own spending. This is reciprocity in action - we deliver value consistently, and it comes back to us in multiples. ▶ Online Community Connections - Joining a tech/growth group and creating Linkedin connections has opened doors to new relationships, mutual support, and unforeseen opportunities. By asking tactical questions and showing genuine interest in others' success, I've built connections far beyond simple networking. The lesson? A robust network built on reciprocity is a powerful asset. Those you lift up today may become the pillars of your success tomorrow. It's not about immediate payback, but about fostering an environment of mutual growth and support. This approach requires a shift in mindset. Instead of asking "What can I get?", start with "What can I give?" Be the first to offer help, anticipate needs in your network, and focus on providing real value, not just exchanging business cards. Remember, in the world of business networking, what goes around truly does come around. By embracing reciprocity, we're not just building a network - we're cultivating an ecosystem where everyone can thrive. How has collaboration unexpectedly benefited your business? Share your experiences and let's continue lifting each other up.

Hot take: Networking isn't about you. Or, at least it shouldn't be, if it's part of your business development strategy. Part of my work with my clients is to map out their network and strategize who may introduce them to, or provide opportunities to get in front of, their ideal clients. Once we've identified a few key contacts to approach, the first question I ask is: ❓ What does this person really want? More often than not, I find even my highly self-aware and empathetic clients can't answer this question, even for network contacts they've known for years — and it puts them at a distinct disadvantage. When done well, connecting with peers, colleagues and valued contacts is a generous and reciprocal exchange that is not one-and-done — and to build business via networking means understanding what your contacts want out of life and career, and what matters most to them. 🗣 Story time: A friend of mine came to me last year with a problem. She had a former colleague who had risen to the c-suite of a major corporation while she was building her consultancy. They used to enjoy regular drinks and catch-ups, but as she focused on growing her business, she noticed their meetings became more sporadic, shorter and hasty. Upon reflection, she realized that she was so laser-focused on building her business she had been asking her contact for favors and referrals without understanding her needs and desires. 💡 She was determined to rebuild the relationship, so I suggested she schedule another meeting and go in with one objective only: discover what she wanted and needed in her life — with no selfish intentions. To her delight, she opened up like the old days, revealing that despite her success, she felt disconnected from her peers, as well as from the new generation of leaders that was emerging at her company. As it turned out, my friend was looking to bring c-suite partners together in a peer group as part of her business development strategy. My friend shared this intention, and her contact was thrilled at the opportunity to get together with peers from different industries, excited to connect with other who might be feeling similarly. She was so excited that she offered up her swanky Manhattan office as the venue for the gathering and invited other influential leaders, as well! 🏆 We call that a win-win. This is just one story that has convinced me that in this business world, where self-promotion often overshadows authentic connections, networking is most beneficial when approached as an act of giving. By genuinely listening and enquiring about others' lives, we open up personal and professional opportunities that we never imagined possible. So, as you strategize who to connect or re-connect within your network and identify key contacts, ask yourself: "What does this person want?" If you don't know, make it your mission to find out. My bet is that you'll both win.

People want to Give Back, Before they want to Give – The Unspoken Law of Reciprocity I have spent my life and career observing and building relationships, connections, and what makes people genuinely want to engage, collaborate, and support each other. And one fundamental truth I’ve learned is this: People don’t just want to receive—they want to give back. When you go out of your way to help someone—whether it’s an introduction, a piece of advice, or a small act of kindness—you are sending them a silent but powerful message: "I see you. I value you. I want to help you win." And what happens next? They instinctively start looking for ways to return the favor. This is the unspoken law of reciprocity. It’s not transactional—it’s human nature. It’s how trust is built. It’s how real, lasting business relationships are formed. In Business Development, this is everything. When you show up for people, without expecting anything in return, you create a ripple effect. You become top of mind. You build credibility. You create an army of people who WANT to help you, refer you, and open doors for you—because you did it first. Too often, people approach networking, partnerships, and connections with the mindset of "What can I get?" Instead, the real question should be: "How can I give? How can I make this person’s life or business better today?" Because here’s the truth—people may forget a pitch, but they won’t forget someone who made a difference for them. So, if you want to grow your network, your opportunities, your business—start by giving people a reason to want to give back to you. Lead with a GIVE. And watch what happens next. 🚀 #BusinessDevelopment #Networking #GiveBack #Relationships #ThoughtLeadership