How cultural norms exclude women from discussions

"You need to go have that cigar." This advice came up during a recent discussion with several women serving on European boards. The context? What to consider when aspiring to executive board positions. The suggestion, while practical in today's context, gave me pause. Yes, as women and diverse candidates, we often need to enter traditionally male-dominated social spaces to be "part of the conversation." The real strategic discussions, relationship-building, and informal influence often happen outside formal board meetings – over cigars, late-night drinks, or weekend padel sessions. But should this be our only path forward? While I acknowledge the pragmatic value of this advice for navigating today's corporate landscape, I believe we need to challenge this status quo. Here's why: To my male colleagues in leadership positions: Consider that while you may be championing gender diversity in formal settings, maintaining exclusive male-dominated social spaces for "real talk" perpetuates systemic barriers. These practices, often unintentionally, can exclude not just women but anyone who can't or chooses not to participate in these traditional networking formats. To all board members and corporate leaders: Let's reimagine what inclusive networking could look like. Can we create neutral spaces that don't inadvertently exclude based on gender, caretaking responsibilities, health choices, or personal preferences? What if we designed social interactions that embrace diversity not just in participation, but in their very format? The path to true board diversity isn't just about getting women to join the cigar lounge – it's about fundamentally challenge where and how we build the relationships that power corporate leadership. What are your thoughts on creating more inclusive spaces for board-level networking? How has your organization approached this challenge? #BoardDiversity #CorporateGovernance #InclusiveLeadership #WomenOnBoards #EquityInLeadership

❌️WHERE ARE THE WOMEN? ✅️WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN? . . As we critique male-dominated photos from summits and conferences, the question isn’t only, “Where are the women?” but also, “Why are there no women?” This isn’t just about optics; it’s about systemic failures that continue to exclude #women from #spaces where they rightfully belong. The recent uproar following the viral photo of the COP29 delegation highlights an enduring reality: structural barriers, societal biases, and institutional cultures are designed to keep women out. For decades, we’ve fought for #representation, yet the progress remains uneven. While systems must change, we must also address a difficult #truth: are women being adequately supported, prepared, and positioned to step into these spaces? At a high-level consultation with prominent women leaders in my country, #Zambia, some shared troubling observations. They recounted how women often struggled to match the #confidence of their male counterparts during recruitment for leadership roles. This isn’t about capacity but conditioning—society has systematically undermined women’s belief in their capabilities. The result? Women internalize doubt and are conspicuously absent from places they should lead. To #dismantle this cycle, we need bold, multi-faceted solutions: 📌#Redesign #Leadership Pipelines: Organizations and institutions must prioritize gender-responsive hiring and succession planning. 📌 #Invest in Capacity Building: Beyond quotas, we need targeted programs to build women’s confidence, leadership skills, and professional networks. 📌#Challenge Societal Norms: Policies alone won’t suffice; we need cultural shifts that redefine women’s roles in leadership. 📌Hold Systems #Accountable: From governments to global forums, accountability mechanisms must ensure gender equity is a non-negotiable priority. The question, “Where are the women?” must evolve into a #commitment to ensure they are in the room—and thriving. Let’s move from critique to action. The time is now. #GenderEquality #WomenInLeadership #SystemicChange #RepresentationMatters #BreakingBarriers #COP29 #DiversityAndInclusion #WomenEmpowerment #GenderEquality

Recently, I came across an incisive article in The Hindu (titled The 'Lapata Ladies' of news articles) that shed light on a deeply unsettling reality—the pervasive absence of women in many critical domains of our society. This phenomenon, often described as "missing women," extends far beyond the numerical imbalance in population. It manifests in the underrepresentation of women across leadership, education, employment, media, and even in the discourse that shapes public opinion. This imbalance is not just a social injustice but a systemic issue that holds back the progress of our nation. While women comprise nearly 50% of the population, their presence in Parliament stands at a mere 15% (14.7% to be precise), and the corporate boardrooms remain overwhelmingly male-dominated. In journalism, the representation of women in top editorial roles is strikingly low, resulting in narratives that often overlook issues critical to half of the population. The reasons for this disparity are multifaceted. Cultural norms, institutional barriers, and a lack of proactive policies converge to create an ecosystem where women struggle to claim their rightful space. What’s even more troubling is the normalization of this absence. As a society, we seldom question the glaring gaps in representation, often attributing them to tradition or natural order. Addressing this requires concerted effort from every stakeholder: - Policy Action: Enact and enforce gender-sensitive policies to ensure equal opportunities in education, employment, and leadership roles. - Media Representation: Encourage more women to take on decision-making roles in journalism and media, ensuring balanced and inclusive storytelling. - Societal Change: Challenge patriarchal norms that limit women’s participation in public and private spheres. - Accountability: Measure and monitor gender representation in all fields, holding organisations and institutions accountable for fostering diversity. The future of our society depends on empowering every individual to contribute equally. It’s not just a moral imperative but an economic and social necessity. As we discuss the "Lapata Ladies" today, let us resolve to make them "present" in every sphere tomorrow. A balanced society isn’t a dream—it’s a responsibility. #MissingWomen #GenderEquality #Inclusion #Leadership

One of the communication challenges that my female clients wrestle with is how to “merge” into a work conversation that’s already happening — especially a conversation of male counterparts. In addition to our work exploring the mindsets and cultural norms that make interrupting feel like it’s not an option (which it is), we discuss enrolling allies in the meeting who will, at best, invite you into the conversation or, at least, notice when you’re trying to merge in. We also practice merging phrases such as: “Excuse me. I have something to add.” “I’m going to interrupt here. I want to share my perspective.” “Before you move on, I have something to share…” “Wait a sec; I haven’t spoken yet.” “Bill? I have something to say on this.” In your next meeting, please notice who might be trying to merge into the discussion — and invite them in. “Allie, did you have something you wanted to say?” #communication #leadership #womenleaders #DEIB #genderequity #meetings #allyship

Imagine having just one shot, one chance, and one moment to speak about yourself and everything you're passionate about. What would you do? What would you say? How do you gather your thoughts to present a compelling portfolio of yourself and your work? As women, do we ever discuss the silent anxieties we face when we know we have to talk about ourselves and the passion-driven initiatives we work on, whether in a low-key or high-key space? One thing is certain: history shows that women, especially women in Africa, tend to undersell, underprice, and at times, talk themselves out of opportunities they rightfully fit into. However, there's also a minority who have mastered the art of doing the opposite, confidently breaking into spaces most women aspire to be in. So, how can we ensure we make the most of that one chance and one moment to talk about ourselves and what we do? Here are some reasons why women in Africa face these challenges and empowering solutions to overcome them: Challenges: 🍉 Silent Anxieties: Many women in Africa grapple with silent anxieties when it comes to self-promotion and speaking about their passions. This can stem from cultural norms, imposter syndrome, and fear of judgment. 🍉Underestimating Value: Women often underestimate the value they bring to the table, leading them to undersell themselves and their work. This can hinder opportunities for advancement and recognition. 🍉Limited Support Systems: In some cases, women in Africa lack the support systems and networks that could help amplify their voices and showcase their talents. This can leave them feeling isolated and overlooked in professional settings. 🍉Societal Expectations: Societal expectations may dictate that women prioritize humility and modesty over self-promotion, making it challenging to assert themselves confidently in professional settings. Solutions: 🗝 Build Confidence: Invest in activities and practices that boost confidence, such as public speaking workshops, networking events, and mentorship programs. Embrace your strengths and achievements, and believe in your ability to make a meaningful impact. 🗝Advocate for Yourself: Take ownership of your narrative and actively advocate for yourself and your work. Learn to articulate your value proposition clearly and concisely, highlighting your unique skills and experiences. 🗝Cultivate Supportive Networks: Seek out mentorship opportunities and build relationships with peers and colleagues who can offer guidance, support, and advocacy. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and empower you to reach your full potential. 🗝Challenge Cultural Norms: Challenge traditional gender norms and societal expectations that may hold you back from self-promotion and assertiveness. Advocate for a workplace culture that values and celebrates the contributions of women. In life, seizing opportunities often requires courage, self-belief, and strategic action. Believe in yourself, seize that opportunity.

There’s a gender gap in assertiveness at Indian workplaces. During my time as an article at a CA firm, then working in corporate, and now visiting client offices, I’ve noticed a clear pattern. Indian women in the workplace are significantly less likely than men to ask for raises or speak up in meetings. Not because they don’t want to. Not because they think they don’t deserve it. But because they’ve been conditioned not to. ➡️ Cultural norms emphasize deference and modesty for women. ➡️ Workplace biases reinforce that assertiveness doesn’t always lead to fair outcomes. ➡️ Systemic barriers make financial advocacy feel like a losing battle. The result? 🔴 Pay gaps that widen with seniority. 🔴 Talented women staying silent, fearing backlash. 🔴 Organizations losing out on diverse leadership. How do we fix this? Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe education will help. Maybe we need to actively not just teach but also expect young girls to speak up, ask for what they deserve, and advocate for themselves—just like boys are taught and expected to. Maybe that’s how we build a future with assertive women who aren’t held back by systemic barriers. What do you think? #Womensday #Women #gender