Why judgment breaks trust in conversations

Walk into a meeting, we spot the one typo on the slide. Talk to a teammate, we zero in on their body language. See a peer succeed, and silently wonder what’s off. Have you noticed how easy it is to slip into the critic’s chair? It’s automatic. Somewhere along the way, our minds were trained to find flaws before finding value. As a coach, I’ve learned that uninvited criticism doesn't build clarity, it builds resistance. You may think you’re helping. But when feedback isn’t asked for, it feels like judgment. People shut down. Trust erodes. And without even realizing it, we create a version of ourselves that others tiptoe around. When you train your mind to see what’s missing, you’ll always feel something is. But when you train it to see what’s there, you build bridges before boundaries. Next time you catch yourself judging, just pause. Flip the lens. Look for something to appreciate before you analyze. Ask yourself, “Am I here to fix, to critique, or to understand?” That one pause can shift your leadership.

What if your quick judgment about someone was holding you back from seeing their brilliance? Judgment rarely serves us. It’s usually a reflection of our own insecurities or blind spots and can be so damaging. A few years ago, I worked with a colleague who was quiet, reserved, and didn’t contribute much in meetings. I assumed they were disengaged or not interested in growing within the company. I judged their silence as a lack of initiative. Then, I got to know them. Turns out, they were quietly leading a high-profile project that was bringing in massive results for the team. They weren’t disengaged, they were focused. They didn’t need the spotlight, they were letting their work speak for itself. That moment was a wake-up call. My judgment was blinding me to their true value and potential. Worse, it could have impacted how I interacted with them or advocated for their work. People sense when you’re judging, and it creates barriers. It erodes trust. It impacts decisions. It limits collaboration. 👐 Instead of judging, practice curiosity. 👐 Instead of making assumptions, ask questions. 👐 Instead of forming opinions, observe and listen. The workplace is full of potential connections, ideas, and opportunities, but only if we’re open to seeing them. How has judgment shown up for you at work? What strategies do you use to stay curious and open-minded? Let’s share and learn together in the comments👇

Beyond First Impressions: Choosing Curiosity Over Judgment It’s incredibly easy to jump to conclusions about someone based on a single moment, a fleeting expression, or a decision we don’t understand. Maybe someone didn’t smile back, seemed too quiet in a group, or reacted strongly to something minor. Instantly, our minds can label them rude, arrogant, or insensitive. But we often forget that our assumptions reflect our perspective, not necessarily the truth. We all carry a lens shaped by our experiences, biases, and past interactions. And through that lens, we sometimes forget to ask the most powerful question: What else could be true? As a coach, I’ve seen how these quick judgments create unnecessary distance and misunderstanding. Clients often share stories of being misjudged or misjudging others, only to find out later that there was so much more to the story. That colleague, who seemed quiet, was grieving. That friend who suddenly pulled away was struggling with anxiety. When we trade judgment for curiosity, we invite empathy into the conversation. We make space for connection, for healing, for understanding. And that shift can change everything — not just for the other person but for ourselves. When we pause and choose to be curious instead of critical, we give ourselves the gift of a deeper connection. We open the door to conversations that matter and relationships that last. We don’t have to understand everything about someone to show them kindness. We must remember that everyone is fighting a battle we can’t see. Let that thought humble your opinions and soften your approach. The world is not short on judgment but hungry for compassion. So the next time you’re tempted to make a snap judgment, take a breath. Ask yourself, What else could be going on here? That slight shift can make a big difference. Let’s lead with empathy, not assumption. And if you're ready to learn how to shift your mindset and deepen your relationships, let’s have a conversation. #LifeCoach #MindsetMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #EmpathyIsStrength #TransformYourLife  #CoachSharath #Bradfordinternationalalliance

After the meeting, I kept replaying the moment: The comment I made. The way she looked at me. The silence that followed. I didn’t mean it the way it came out. But I could tell— She shut down. For the rest of the week, I felt it: Less collaboration. More hesitation. Awkward tension at every check-in. That’s when I realized: A single conversation— misaligned, misread, or misfired— Can shape the culture of a whole team. But here’s what most people don’t understand: Work conversations don’t go sideways due to words. They go sideways because of wounds.   • Old experiences.   • Subconscious beliefs.   • Emotional triggers. That’s why we use NeuroChange. It’s not about perfect scripts. It’s about rewiring how we think, feel, and respond. Here are 3 shifts that fix broken conversations at work: 1. Regulate before you relate. When you're triggered, your brain isn’t listening—it’s protecting. TO DO: Ground yourself. Then connect. 2. Curiosity calms the threat response. Questions like “Help me understand…” disarm defensiveness. TO DO: Create space for honesty. 3. Believe the best. Your mindset drives your message. Tone communicates more than words. TO DO: Assume good intent & tone will follow. Most communication problems aren’t technical. They’re emotional. They’re neurological. And yes— They’re fixable. Ready to make work conversations a source of trust, not tension? Let’s talk. ----- 💡 Follow Julia LeFevre for more Leadership content 📢 DM or email me at julia@braverestoration ♻️ Repost to share with your network