Trust and Negotiation: Finding Common Ground

I once asked a prosecutor about a client who had used a blowtorch to break into a T-Mobile store and steal 100 phones. His case looked hopeless — until I asked one simple question. When negotiating with prosecutors, I don't start with what I want. I start with: "What's most important to you in this case?" That question changed everything for my client. The prosecutor told me he needed two things: • The store owner wanted significant jail time • He needed to show the victim justice was served My client had one priority: avoiding deportation. These interests seemed incompatible until I proposed an unusual solution: • My client would serve 8 months in jail (more than typical) • We'd modify the charge to avoid triggering deportation The prosecutor got his jail time to satisfy the victim. My client avoided deportation. Everyone walked away satisfied. After 16+ years defending cases, I've learned that effective negotiation isn't about threats or posturing. It's about creating an environment where both sides can openly share what they truly care about. This approach works because: • It calms everyone's defensive reactions • It reveals interests beyond stated positions • It creates space for creative solutions When someone feels threatened, they can't think clearly about potential overlaps in interests. My job is to make the opposing side comfortable enough to share what's really driving their decisions. Sometimes there's no overlap of interests. That's okay. You can't manufacture common ground where none exists. But when that overlap does exist — like in my blowtorch case — finding it can create outcomes neither side thought possible. What's your approach to difficult negotiations?

Without trust, nothing moves in negotiation. Few negotiators have a strategy to build it. You’ll learn six proven moves to build trust, even when time is short or stakes are high. I’ve helped corporate leaders negotiate high-stakes deals in over 30 countries, where trust builds access and leverage. In high-trust negotiations, joint gains increase by over 40%, according to research. Trust isn’t a luxury in negotiation. It’s your license to operate. Yet we often rush the process: ✔ Withhold information ✔ Play it safe ✔ Miss the bigger win Here are six concrete moves from Harvard's PON (Program on Negotiation) to build trust quickly, even with strangers: 1️⃣ Speak their language: Not just industry lingo. Show cultural fluency and listen for nuance. A single word misunderstood can knock you out. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Prep to show curiosity, not ignorance. 2️⃣ Use your reputation: If trust isn’t built yet, borrow it. Share your track record or get an intro from someone they trust. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Third-party validation can break early resistance. 3️⃣ Make dependence visible: Highlight how you both need each other to win. Scarcity fosters cooperation; just don’t overplay it. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Say, "Here’s what only we can offer you." 4️⃣ Offer a no-strings concession: Low cost to you, high value to them? That’s the trust jackpot. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Gift first, then negotiate. 5️⃣ Label every concession: If you don’t say it’s a concession, they won’t treat it like one. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Spell out what it costs you and why it matters. 6️⃣ Explain your demands: People default to assuming the worst. A clear rationale for your ask makes you seem fair. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Even if they don’t like it, they’ll trust it. Trust isn’t a feeling, it’s the outcome of visible, intentional behavior. Which of these six trust-builders do you use most, and which one do you forget? Let me know in the comments. Save this list for your next tough negotiation. ♻️ Share if this made you rethink how you build trust. 

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲. We once had to shut down four city blocks in downtown Phoenix for a private Macklemore concert. On the surface, it sounds like logistics. In reality, it was about trust. It took a month meeting with city departments, knocking on doors, and listening to city employees who mostly wanted to help the public, get a paycheck and benefits, plus not lose their job. Each had their own concerns: safety, traffic, liability or what would their boss do to them. Instead of pushing my agenda, I focused on their pain points and showed that I understood what mattered to them.  After the month of planning, we started at 2:15 the morning of the concert, to set up - they would not let us close the roads, then I convinced them it was okay, after the bars closed. That’s how you move big, complicated projects forward. Not with pressure. Not with shortcuts, instead - by giving people confidence that you see them, hear them, and will protect their interests (if nothing else, that they won’t get fired, their kids will be okay and life will be good). The principle is simple. 𝐈𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. Whether you’re closing a deal, running a campaign, or trying to get four blocks of a city to shut down, the foundation is the same: trust built through listening. What’s one way you’ve built trust in a tough negotiation? #Trust #Negotiation #DealMaking #TILTTheRoom #MediaLaw #Macklemore Christopher Voss Kwame Christian, Esq., M.A. Alexandra Carter Dr. Robert Cialdini Scott Tillema