Impact of manipulative language on client trust

“I need you to show me trust.” “Please don’t make this complex.” “Will you accept me to be weak?” ➜ These are real messages I received in my DMs. What started as a prospect inquiry quickly turned into: emotional manipulation, persistent boundary-pushing, inappropriate messaging from someone claiming to be “with family.” Let me say this clearly: This is NOT how we do business. No woman or professional of any kind should be expected to: ❌ Leave secure platforms for WhatsApp at a stranger’s request ❌ Accept guilt or pressure tactics disguised as “trust” ❌ Be made to feel like protecting their boundaries is being “difficult” The language used here crossed a line. It wasn’t just a communication mismatch it was manipulative. And the moment he said, “I need you to show me trust,” I realized this wasn’t about business. This was about control. ➜ Trust is built, not demanded. For all the coaches, consultants, and service providers out there: You are not too rigid for having structure. You are not cold for using intake forms. You are not wrong for saying no to communication you’re not comfortable with. ➜ We set boundaries not because we’re closed off but because we care about the integrity of our space. Women in business deserve to feel safe. Not “strong enough” to handle unsafe behavior. ➜ To anyone reading this: If something feels off, it probably is. Protect your space. Back your process. Trust your gut. You’re running a business, not a therapy line on demand. ➜ By the way, this wasn’t the first time this is happened. Men leaving inappropriate messages in my DMs. One actually said “ I know you’re married, but I’m gonna shoot my shot” Me: “Not ok, 100% inappropriate, and You are shooting blanks bro” blocked! ➜ Safety isn’t just personal. It’s professional. Thank you Chelsea Linge for sharing your story and encouraging me to share mine. Have you ever had to shut down inappropriate behavior in your DMs professionally or personally… How did you handle it?

We hear a lot about the “art of selling” in real estate. But we rarely stop to talk about the ethics behind it. There’s a thin, almost invisible line between convincing and manipulating. It’s something I think about a lot because it’s easy to cross that line without even realizing it. To me, convincing means guiding clients with honesty, sharing the good, bad, and messy parts. Manipulating is when the sale starts to feel more important than what the client really needs. When it stops feeling like help and starts feeling like pressure. And that’s a line I refuse to cross. Today’s buyers are informed and quick to sense pressure before you even start pushing. Once trust breaks, or clients feel pushed, they won’t come back.  And honestly, they shouldn’t. We wouldn’t either, right? Being in real estate, I understand the pressure to hit targets, but I believe honesty matters more. Sometimes it’s better to lose a deal than to win it by pushing too hard. Because in this business, your reputation echoes long after the contract is signed. I’ve seen clients appreciate when we’re upfront, even if it means saying,  “This might not be the right fit right now.” That honesty builds real trust. They might say no today, but when the right opportunity comes, they’ll come back. But if we push too hard, that door closes forever. At the end of the day, no one’s counting our deals. When people recommend us or just talk about us, they share their experience. And it’s entirely on us to make sure that experience is one worth remembering.

Procurement - Practice Negotiation, Not Manipulation! What people often say: "Procurement manipulates suppliers." What should be said: "Procurement negotiates with suppliers." Procurement professionals, it’s time to wake up! You need to understand what you are doing. Our primary job is to secure the best prices while delivering value. But not in unethical way. Negotiating is about having an open conversation where both sides share their needs and work together to find a fair deal. Even if you push for your side, the goal is a mutually beneficial agreement where both parties are satisfied. Manipulating is when you use pressure, tricks, or unfair tactics to force the other party to agree to something they might not want. It's about controlling the situation, often leading to deception and distrust. A few years ago, I was negotiating with a supplier over a packaging material. Considering the bulk volume, I could have pressured them into lowering the price immediately. Instead, I chose to take a more collaborative approach, asking about their challenges and working with them on a fair solution. By focusing on building trust and a win-win outcome, we not only got a reasonable price but also secured better payment terms and a stronger long-term relationship. Had I manipulated the situation for a quick win, I might have saved some money upfront, but I would’ve risked damaging the supplier relationship and future opportunities. We sometimes get so focused on cost savings that we forget our principles. Remember, you can’t force people to give you money through unethical means; it won’t last. The Consequences of Manipulating Suppliers: ⛔Damaged Relationships: Manipulation may get you short-term gains, but it harms long-term supplier relationships. Suppliers will be less willing to collaborate, and you may struggle to maintain favorable terms. ⛔Loss of Trust: Suppliers will recognize when you're using manipulation tactics, leading to distrust and a damaged reputation. ⛔Inconsistent Results: While manipulation may yield savings today, it often backfires, causing higher costs or loss of quality down the road. Shifting from Manipulation to Negotiation: ✅Start by focusing on building trust and understanding with your suppliers. ✅Aim for collaboration rather than control. ✅Be transparent about your needs, and work towards win-win solutions. It’s critical that we stay grounded and make decisions aligned with our values, rather than chasing short-term wins. Let’s build a procurement culture that thrives on integrity, fairness and mutual respect. Make people influenced by you and not convinced by you. P.S. If you're manipulating, stop immediately. The long-term damage far outweighs any short-term gains. Are you and your team negotiating or manipulating? Drop your answers below! #Procurement #Supplychain

Trust builds over months, pays dividends for years, but can evaporate in microseconds. Meet the Trust Assassins: 9 behaviors that secretly sabotage your selling relationships. After coaching hundreds of sales teams, and thousands of sellers, I've cataloged the most insidious trust-killing behaviors: 1. Premature pitching. Nothing screams "I don't care about your situation" like solving a problem you don't fully understand. Prescribe before you diagnose at your peril. 2. Passive listening. Prospects can feel when you're waiting for your turn to speak rather than genuinely processing their words. Your body language betrays you. Slow it down. 3. Embellishing capabilities. Overselling creates expectation gaps impossible to fill. The momentary win becomes a long-term credibility crater. The sugar rush before the coma. Feels great in the Ego... not so good for the bank account. Remember they are buying their pain... that's where we focus. 4. Mirroring buying signals. It's old school. It's a 'move'. They have seen this show before. Nodding while they express concerns doesn't build rapport - it signals you've stopped thinking about their needs. 5. Defensive responses to objections. When you treat objections as attacks rather than explorations, you've transformed from advisor to adversary. It's their objection to handle ... coach them through it. If you are in an arm wrestling match you've lost already. 6. Manufactured urgency. Creating false deadlines insults their intelligence and positions you as manipulative. True urgency emerges from their situation, not your quota. 7. Overcorrecting. Constantly shifting your approach based on micro-reactions creates an authenticity deficit your prospect can sense but not name. 8. Feature flooding. Drowning prospects in capabilities signals insecurity about your core value proposition. The art is in slightly underpitching where most go miles too far. 9. False familiarity. Using first names too frequently or assuming personal connections prematurely creates psychological distance disguised as closeness. These all reek of commission breath. Your need for the sale becoming conspicuously more important than their need for a solution. A transactional conversation when a transformational one is called for. "Selling is a transfer of trust, not a transfer of information." - Juliana Crispo Each of these behaviors erodes character. Incentive winning over integrity. Incrementally damaging trust in ways commission checks fear. What behaviors would you add to the list?

I was on a call with a prospective client who had been burned by another sales coach and was asked whether I had a ‘foolproof sales script’. I had the impression that it was a trick question designed to catch me out, but I answered it honestly: “No, I use a framework that enables me to close over 90% of my sales calls by guiding conversations towards the solutions that people are looking for. A script that often puts a prospect in a box and makes them feel manipulated which often leaves them with regrets even if you close the sale…” The truth is that a powerful script will probably only close around 43% of your sales calls and - if you’re offering coaching or training - usually delivers clients who bail out as soon as they can. Language is powerful and you can develop a script that will irresistibly draw a certain segment of the population to say, “Yes” to your proposal and pay your invoice. You didn’t have to push them into it… But they didn’t really choose freely either, because you used emotional and linguistic manipulation. That leaves me with 2 questions: 1. Is that the kind of person you want to work with? And 2. Do you want to be that kind of sales person? Quite apart from the fact that I don’t like that approach and I don’t want to be that person, I know that you don’t get those buyers back a second time. By the time I had finished that call my prospect had become a client - not because I used a ‘foolproof sales script’, but because I demonstrated genuine interest and proved that I could help him get results. Since that time he has massively scaled his business and quadrupled his profits without compromising his integrity or feeling manipulative - he’s also enjoying working with his new clients. In today’s world of AI, businesses that focus on developing relationships with clients and prospects and insert the ‘human factor’ into delivering effective solutions to genuine problems have an unassailable edge. There was never a good time to hide behind impersonal responses, but NOW is a fantastic time to cultivate your communication and interpersonal skills. The truth is, effective sales and a high close rate require a two-way process of evaluating each other. When you give your prospect freedom to evaluate you rather than manipulating them into accepting everything you say, you close more sales and you deliver better results. This week, focus on asking questions so that you empower your prospects (in the right way). Not only will you close more sales, you’ll also increase your recurring income. If you - or your team members - need some help building a process and habit of picking up the phone and having a 2-way conversation, then you’ll probably find Ready Set Sell the perfect solution for adding human points of contact into your sales pipeline. #sales #salesenablement #chandellspeaksout

I often have to deal with Fake urgency in projects that I work on. This refers to creating a false sense of needing to act immediately, often through manipulative tactics, to pressure someone into making a decision or taking an action. It's a deceptive practice, often seen in marketing or workplace settings, that can lead to rushed decisions, stress, and a negative impact on trust. This occurs often In the Workplace and the symptoms are: Unnecessary Deadlines: Managers might impose tight deadlines on tasks that don't genuinely require such speed. Ignoring Prioritization: Lack of planning or prioritizing can lead to a feeling of constant busyness and false urgency. Rewarding Speed Over Quality: When managers prioritize speed over thoroughness, it can create a culture where employees feel pressured to rush through tasks, leading to errors and burnout. Lack of Communication: Not clearly communicating the reasons behind a deadline or the impact of not meeting it can foster a sense of false urgency. We see this also in a number of areas in Marketing: Misleading Timers: Websites might use countdown timers to suggest a limited-time offer, even if the offer is not actually expiring or will be offered again. False Scarcity: Displaying fake low stock warnings or limited-quantity indicators to create artificial demand. Manipulative Language: Using words like "hurry," "don't miss out," or "last chance" to pressure customers into buying without proper consideration. Resetting Timers: Some websites may reset timers when a page is refreshed, creating a false sense of urgency even if the product is still available. The Consequences of this can be severe : Poor Decision Making: When under pressure, people are more likely to make impulsive and potentially regretful choices. Increased Stress and Anxiety: False urgency can lead to a feeling of being constantly overwhelmed and stressed. Damaged Trust: Manipulative tactics erode trust between businesses and customers, and between managers and employees. Reduced Productivity: When employees are constantly dealing with false urgency, it can negatively impact their focus and ability to perform their work effectively. How do you Avoid this unwanted intrusion : Be Aware: Recognize the signs of fake urgency and be cautious of manipulative tactics. Prioritize Tasks: Focus on completing urgent and important tasks first and don't get caught up in the hype of fake urgency. Question the Deadline: If a deadline feels unrealistic, ask for clarification on the reasons behind it and its actual necessity. Communicate Clearly: In a workplace setting, ensure clear communication about deadlines and priorities to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary pressure. Take Time to Reflect: Before making a decision, take a moment to step back, assess the situation, and consider all options

The Danger of Sales Personnel Moving from Influence to Manipulation For sales professionals, influence is an essential skill, built on trust, authenticity, and understanding customer needs. However, when influence veers into manipulation, it crosses an ethical line that can damage reputations, relationships, and long-term success. Influence is grounded in guiding customers to make informed decisions that genuinely benefit them. It involves active listening, empathy, and transparent communication. Manipulation, on the other hand, relies on exploiting emotions, withholding information, or using pressure tactics to push a sale. While manipulation might deliver short-term gains, it erodes trust and often leads to buyer remorse or dissatisfaction. The risks of manipulation go beyond the individual salesperson—it can tarnish a company’s brand and drive customers to competitors. Moreover, manipulation can have legal consequences, particularly if customers feel deceived or misled. Sales success thrives on integrity. Building genuine relationships and prioritising customer interests not only ensures ethical practices but also fosters loyalty and sustainable growth. www.bi-ac.com Ben Cardall LSRA, SAS-AP L2 Instructor Jim Wenzel PPS, SAS-AP, SAS-L2 Instructor Herman Ilgen An Gaiser Conrad Slater David Slater