Approaches to Consensus Building in Negotiation

Without trust, nothing moves in negotiation. Few negotiators have a strategy to build it. You’ll learn six proven moves to build trust, even when time is short or stakes are high. I’ve helped corporate leaders negotiate high-stakes deals in over 30 countries, where trust builds access and leverage. In high-trust negotiations, joint gains increase by over 40%, according to research. Trust isn’t a luxury in negotiation. It’s your license to operate. Yet we often rush the process: ✔ Withhold information ✔ Play it safe ✔ Miss the bigger win Here are six concrete moves from Harvard's PON (Program on Negotiation) to build trust quickly, even with strangers: 1️⃣ Speak their language: Not just industry lingo. Show cultural fluency and listen for nuance. A single word misunderstood can knock you out. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Prep to show curiosity, not ignorance. 2️⃣ Use your reputation: If trust isn’t built yet, borrow it. Share your track record or get an intro from someone they trust. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Third-party validation can break early resistance. 3️⃣ Make dependence visible: Highlight how you both need each other to win. Scarcity fosters cooperation; just don’t overplay it. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Say, "Here’s what only we can offer you." 4️⃣ Offer a no-strings concession: Low cost to you, high value to them? That’s the trust jackpot. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Gift first, then negotiate. 5️⃣ Label every concession: If you don’t say it’s a concession, they won’t treat it like one. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Spell out what it costs you and why it matters. 6️⃣ Explain your demands: People default to assuming the worst. A clear rationale for your ask makes you seem fair. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Even if they don’t like it, they’ll trust it. Trust isn’t a feeling, it’s the outcome of visible, intentional behavior. Which of these six trust-builders do you use most, and which one do you forget? Let me know in the comments. Save this list for your next tough negotiation. ♻️ Share if this made you rethink how you build trust. 

STUDENT SUCCESS STORY YOU CAN USE: HOW TO WIN AT THE UNITED NATIONS.   Imagine being thrown into high-stakes global negotiations—with almost no experience. What would you do? And how can the answer help you in your tough talks today? Hi, I’m Professor Seth Freeman. True story. One of my students—let’s call her Sheila—was working at her country’s UN consulate when she got a major assignment: representing her nation in key talks on women’s rights—with 100 other countries. The problem? She had almost no diplomatic experience. And this wasn’t a Model UN. This was the real UN. To her surprise, Sheila did brilliantly. She soon became so effective that four other countries asked her to represent them, too. Result? She won major changes to the document’s language—revisions her government and others had longed for for years but had failed to win. Her fellow diplomats were so thrilled they actually danced and cried. They asked: Sheila, how did you do it? A key? Negotiation training. Sheila applied two key techniques that made a big difference: *First, Creative Bargaining: She knew her key priorities and traded low-priority language for high-priority language. A major win. *Second, a dialogue tool called Paraphrase, Praise, Probe: At a critical moment, when a bloc of countries seemed unmovable, she actively listened, showed she appreciated their concerns, then asked key questions. Then she tested options: "What about this? That? Oh, so you don’t care about this, just that? Got it. How about this? By ensuring they felt heard, understood, and respected, and offering options, she helped lower their guard, understand, and turn a deadlock into a breakthrough. Lesson: Even in high-stakes diplomacy, training to use negotiation tools can help you win. Try these techniques in your next tough conversation—whether it’s at work, at home, or anywhere you need to get results. And if you want to really sharpen your negotiation skills, like Sheila, consider getting good negotiation training. How have negotiation tools and training helped you thrive in situations where it seemed improbable? Let me know in the comments. #negotiation #training #diplomacy #persuasion ELIJAH STOVER Julia Stanzenberger Jessica Tomasella Jonathan Grady Roi Ben-Yehuda

When I'm negotiating, I tend to AGREE with the other side. Sounds counter-intuitive. But it's enabled me to close 7-figure settlements. Most lawyers think negotiations are about being tough, standing your ground, and not giving an inch. I take the opposite approach: tactical empathy. Here's how it works. When opposing counsel says something like, "That's a ridiculous settlement demand. We can never possibly pay that much," I don't fight back. Instead, I validate them: "I can see why you would say that. I'm sorry for that. What can I do to come up with an offer that makes sense for you? My client is unfortunately stuck here." Their reaction? Complete confusion. They're prepared for a fight. They've got their counterarguments lined up. But when I validate their feelings instead, their entire script falls apart. The best part? They start giving me information I can use to negotiate against them. When faced with validation instead of opposition, lawyers suddenly start explaining their real constraints, their client's actual position, and sometimes even what number they might actually be able to get approved. All because I didn't argue. I've found this approach works especially well on lawyers because they don't even know what's happening. They're so used to adversarial negotiations that genuine validation short-circuits their usual approach. The key elements: • Validate their emotions • Acknowledge their position • Ask questions instead of making demands • Keep validating even when they try to be difficult This isn't just about being nice – it's strategic. By removing the confrontation, you force them to either engage constructively or look unreasonable. Next time you're in a difficult negotiation, try validation instead of opposition. It feels counterintuitive, but the results speak for themselves. After all, the goal isn't to win the argument – it's to get what your client needs.

Lean Community: "Herding Cats: Guiding Continuous Improvement in Tangled Environments" by Ovidiu Contras. Highly Recommend! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Escalation. The author reflects on a stalled project where the team’s claim that “Everything looks OK” masked deeper issues. Despite visible problems, the team resisted change, and the effort risked ending with no root cause analysis or improvements. Early engagement had been weak, and a late attempt to escalate failed when leadership pushed back, weakening team alignment. The experience showed that escalation must be agreed upon early, with clearly defined communication pathways. Eventually, the author challenged the complacency, prompting leadership to intervene. Their support reset the tone, re-engaged the team, and revived the project. The key takeaway: early signals, structured escalation, and proactive questioning are essential to avoiding dead ends. This book provides very thoughtful guidance around what is often missing in Western organizations - nemawashi - a Japanese term meaning “laying the groundwork.” Nemawashi involves informally building consensus by discussing proposals with stakeholders one-on-one before formal meetings. This process fosters alignment, trust, and transparency while surfacing objections early. Though it may seem slow, nemawashi prevents rework and resistance by creating shared ownership. In change management and continuous improvement, where collaboration is key, this method smooths decision-making and strengthens culture. Used effectively, nemawashi enables faster implementation and more lasting results through thoughtful, inclusive leadership. Questions -Should formal escalation protocols take precedence over informal consensus-building strategies like nemawashi, especially in high-stakes projects? -Is resistance to change more often a failure of leadership engagement or of team accountability? -Can organizations afford the time investment required for nemawashi in fast-paced, results-driven environments? #ContinuousImprovement #CultureMatters