Building Rapport Before Contract Negotiation

Without trust, nothing moves in negotiation. Few negotiators have a strategy to build it. You’ll learn six proven moves to build trust, even when time is short or stakes are high. I’ve helped corporate leaders negotiate high-stakes deals in over 30 countries, where trust builds access and leverage. In high-trust negotiations, joint gains increase by over 40%, according to research. Trust isn’t a luxury in negotiation. It’s your license to operate. Yet we often rush the process: ✔ Withhold information ✔ Play it safe ✔ Miss the bigger win Here are six concrete moves from Harvard's PON (Program on Negotiation) to build trust quickly, even with strangers: 1️⃣ Speak their language: Not just industry lingo. Show cultural fluency and listen for nuance. A single word misunderstood can knock you out. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Prep to show curiosity, not ignorance. 2️⃣ Use your reputation: If trust isn’t built yet, borrow it. Share your track record or get an intro from someone they trust. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Third-party validation can break early resistance. 3️⃣ Make dependence visible: Highlight how you both need each other to win. Scarcity fosters cooperation; just don’t overplay it. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Say, "Here’s what only we can offer you." 4️⃣ Offer a no-strings concession: Low cost to you, high value to them? That’s the trust jackpot. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Gift first, then negotiate. 5️⃣ Label every concession: If you don’t say it’s a concession, they won’t treat it like one. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Spell out what it costs you and why it matters. 6️⃣ Explain your demands: People default to assuming the worst. A clear rationale for your ask makes you seem fair. 𝘛𝘪𝘱: Even if they don’t like it, they’ll trust it. Trust isn’t a feeling, it’s the outcome of visible, intentional behavior. Which of these six trust-builders do you use most, and which one do you forget? Let me know in the comments. Save this list for your next tough negotiation. ♻️ Share if this made you rethink how you build trust. 

As sellers, sometimes we try too hard to be likable. The thinking goes: If they like me, they’ll buy from me. The problem? When likability is artificially pushed, it feels manipulative. Trying too hard to be liked can make us appear needy or disingenuous, which erodes trust. Rapport is built through listening, asking thoughtful questions, and showing genuine interest in the other person’s needs. So shift from being likable to being curious. Being likable: “That’s such an amazing idea! I’ve never heard anyone say that before! You’re a genius.” Being curious: “That’s an interesting perspective. How did you arrive at that?” Being likable: “Oh, I totally agree with everything you just said!” Being curious: “You bring up some great points. What’s your theory on why that is?” Being likable: “I know exactly what you mean. Last year, I was in a similar situation when I was closing a deal, and…” (proceeds to talk about own experience to build rapport) Being curious: “It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of complexity. How are you currently managing that situation?” No one will find you likable if you’re trying to be likable.

Have you ever met someone in the business world and felt an instant connection? It’s like you’ve known them for years, even though you’ve just exchanged business cards. These connections can open doors, close deals, and create long-lasting professional relationships. But how do you create this rapport, especially when meeting someone for the first time? Here's I four proven techniques, backed by top psychologists, to help you build instant rapport with anyone in the business world. 1. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: We’re not talking about a fairy tale here, but mirroring is just as magical when it comes to establishing rapport. This technique involves subtly imitating the other person’s body language, tone of voice, and speaking patterns. Before you go all “Stalker Mode” on us, remember that subtlety is key. 2. The Art of Active Listening: Active listening is like being a detective, but instead of solving crimes, you’re solving the mysteries of human connection. This technique involves giving the speaker your full attention, making eye contact, and demonstrating that you’re engaged in the conversation. 3. Common Ground: The Golden Ticket to Rapport: When you find common ground with someone, it’s like discovering that you both have the same favorite ice cream flavor (hello, mint chocolate chip!). To unearth these precious shared interests, ask open-ended questions and listen attentively to the answers. Once you’ve struck gold, engage in conversation about your mutual interest and watch your rapport skyrocket. 4. Empathy and Vulnerability: The Dynamic Duo: Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect, and embracing our imperfections can be the key to building rapport. Empathy and vulnerability go hand in hand: empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, while vulnerability is the willingness to reveal your own thoughts and emotions. Building rapport is an essential skill in the business world, where relationships can make or break your success. By mastering these four techniques – mirroring, active listening, finding common ground, and showing empathy and vulnerability – you’ll be well on your way to creating lasting connections with colleagues, clients, and partners. And remember, practice makes perfect. These rapport-building techniques may not always come naturally, but with time and persistence, you’ll become a veritable people-magnet in the business world. So go forth, network like a pro, and remember to have fun along the way. After all, as the great Mary Poppins once said, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and – SNAP – the job’s a game!” Now, go out there and make some friends, you charming business aficionado, you. And don’t forget to share your success stories with me – I would love to hear how these tips have helped you build instant rapport and create lasting connections in your world of business.

Want to negotiate $1,000,000+ Construction Projects? Here’s what I see most Contractors do: They want to skip straight to negotiating work. “I’ve bid them like 10 times - why won’t they just give me a job!” But, you have to do 2 things first: 1. Build trust 2. Make relationships Bidding jobs over and over again doesn’t usually do either. Sorry, but it’s true. The good news is anyone can negotiate work once they focus on trust and relationships. From my experience selling multi-million dollar construction projects, These 3 strategies help establish trust and make friends with you clients (so you can negotiate work too): - 1. Show up in person once/quarter A 40-year industry veteran once told me: “You’re not real to your clients until you show up in person at least 3x.” - Bring bagels and coffee - Buy the office lunch - Stop by just to say hi People can’t trust you if they forget you exist. - 2. Make relationships at 3 levels of the organization - 1 person at your level (PM→PM) - 1 person above your level (PM→Exec) - 1 person below your level (Pm→Jr. PM) The more advocates in the building, the more good things that get said about you when you’re not around. Trust ensues. - 3. Be interested not interesting Stop talking about yourself. Start talking about them. Build trust by investing in THEIR story. And help them achieve a happy ending. - My final advice: Always be genuine and authentic.. Because at the end of the day, what does every client want? To do good work with good people, for good prices. Prove you’re capable of all 3 → Build trust and negotiate work Need help? You may love this (it’s free): https://lnkd.in/earKh7QM