Understanding Different Negotiation Styles in Business

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

Culture isn’t just where we come from. It’s who we are—and who we’re sitting across from. We often treat cross-cultural negotiation as an international issue. As if culture only changes when you fly to Tokyo or Frankfurt. But what if I told you that every negotiation is, in fact, cross-cultural? ✅ Talking to someone from another company? That’s a different culture. ✅ Negotiating with the opposite gender? Different values, different filters. ✅ Meeting someone from another generation? That might be the biggest shift of all. Here’s what the research tells us: 🧓 Silent Generation negotiates with deference and discipline. Loyal, formal, and legacy-minded. 👴 Boomers value relationships, respect hierarchy, and avoid risk. 🧑💼 Gen X is pragmatic, self-reliant, and allergic to gamesmanship. 👩💻 Millennials focus on purpose, transparency, and shared value. 📱 Gen Z seeks SMARTnership over ego. They blend digital fluency with a desire for meaning and trust. 🤖 Gen Alpha will be our first AI-native negotiators—fast, adaptive, and raised to co-create value instead of battling for it. (Of course, we’re generalizing. Every individual is unique, but generational patterns do offer valuable clues.) And here's the good news—especially if you're tired of all the manipulation tactics out there: The younger generation isn’t buying into the old-school “bag of tricks” some negotiation trainers still promote. No mirroring. No manipulative questions. No fake empathy. They want genuine, transparent dialogue. Real conversations. Real trust. Real value. Good for them—and good for you, too. Because negotiation shouldn’t be about outsmarting the other side. It should be about creating something smarter together. Welcome to the age of SMARTnership. (The content is based on our study of 35,000 negotiators since 1998.) #negotiation #procurement BMI Executive Institute UCLouvain I BMI Executive Institute AAU Executive - MBA and HD at Aalborg University Gražvydas Jukna Tine Anneberg Juan Manuel García P. Jason Myrowitz Tiffany Kemp Darryl Legault #span

I was in a group of really smart people last night who were at all different stages of career development. Something that is needed, is the understanding and mastery of negotiation tactics. This should be helpful for anyone struggling to convey and extract value in a negotiation. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 is a tool that identifies an individual’s dominant negotiation style and highlights their tendencies, preferences, and behaviors in negotiation scenarios. It is often based on established frameworks like the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) and focuses on five common negotiation styles: ✅ 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: Assertive, goal-driven, and focused on winning. ✅ 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: Problem-solving and seeking win-win outcomes. ✅ 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴: Finding middle ground. ✅ 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴: Steering clear of conflict. ✅ 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: Prioritizing relationships over personal goals. ✴️ 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁: Participants answer questions or rate statements about their behaviors in negotiation contexts. Responses measure preferences for assertiveness, cooperativeness, and problem-solving approaches. 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸: Results indicate a dominant negotiation style and secondary tendencies. Feedback includes insights into how each style affects outcomes and relationships. ✴️ 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀: Helps individuals understand their natural tendencies and how they approach negotiations, fostering intentional strategy adjustments. 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: By recognizing strengths and areas for growth, individuals can adopt more versatile approaches, such as blending competing and collaborating strategies. 𝗘𝗻𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀: Tailoring negotiation approaches to fit specific situations and parties leads to better resolutions and stronger relationships. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Understanding styles helps individuals handle disputes more effectively by fostering communication and reducing conflict escalation. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Valuable for professionals, leaders, and anyone involved in decision-making or influence-driven roles. Insights can improve team dynamics, client relationships, and personal growth. ✴️ 𝗘𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀: A competing style negotiator learns to collaborate for long-term client partnerships. 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: Diverse negotiation styles within teams can be leveraged for stronger collaboration. 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: Balancing assertiveness and empathy leads to more effective negotiations. The Cengage Negotiating Style Self-Assessment is a practical tool for improving negotiation effectiveness, fostering adaptability, and achieving better outcomes in both professional and personal contexts. 💙 If you like it, share it and comment.