How to Recognize When to Change Your Negotiation Tactics

Sick of hearing “no” in negotiations? These five fixes will turn rejections into wins. Understand why your negotiations fail, and gain powerful strategies to flip rejections into confident agreements. After decades of coaching global leaders through tough negotiations, I’ve learned a crucial truth: Most rejections aren’t about your offer, they’re about your negotiation approach. Here are honest lessons from my own painful negotiation mistakes, paired with clear, actionable fixes: 🔴 Mistake #1: Selling instead of solving Early in my career, I passionately pitched a partnership that was quickly rejected, it served my interests, not theirs. High stakes and embarrassment followed. ✅ Action: Never pitch without first asking clearly: “What outcomes matter most to you?” 🔴 Mistake #2: Ego over empathy Confidently proposing strict terms to demonstrate professionalism backfired when the client felt disrespected. Immediate rejection taught me, empathy beats ego every time. ✅ Action: Clearly show respect and collaboration: “Your insights are vital; let’s build this together.” 🔴 Mistake #3: Ignoring their better alternatives A major deal slipped through my fingers because I overlooked my client’s superior alternative (BATNA). My silence made my proposal irrelevant and costly. ✅ Action: Address alternatives directly: “I recognize you have other strong options; here’s why my offer uniquely benefits you.” 🔴 Mistake #4: Threatening their reputation I once had a deal collapse because accepting it would’ve undermined my counterpart’s internal credibility. A painful oversight I won’t forget. ✅ Action: Actively protect their reputation: “How can we structure this deal to enhance your internal credibility?” 🔴 Mistake #5: Losing trust Repeated rejections from a key client taught me they had lost trust due to hidden risks. Transparency became my essential tool for successful negotiations. ✅ Action: Be radically transparent: “These are the risks; let’s address them openly and together.” Rejection isn’t failure, it’s your best negotiation guide when you decode it clearly. What’s your go-to strategy for overcoming negotiation rejection? If this helped you rethink how you handle rejection don’t keep it to yourself! Repost, comment, or tag someone who needs to read this today. ♻️ 

Closing a nine-month deal in one week came down to a single interaction.    I had the opportunity to coach a country General Manager on a big negotiation recently. We were strategizing an agreement she’d been struggling with for the better part of a year. The other side would yell one day and ignore her the next – classic poker-playing techniques for senior executives.     After learning what she was facing, I offered some suggestions on how to approach the negotiation in another way. Instead of continuing to beat the drum about how her value was superior to her competition, she instead addressed the way she was being treated by the executive.    The tone of the conversations turned in a single moment.     She reminded him of how he had tried to belittle her and her product with his negotiation tactics. She then asked, “What would you do if you were in my position?”     The other executive thought for a moment and said, “I guess I would have walked away a long time ago. I get it now, let’s talk.”     Inside of a week, she was able to close the deal, on her terms, and earn an extra $10M in revenue for her company.      When dealing with a high-stakes negotiation:    1.    Take the time to plan out your approach. You’d be surprised how often this doesn’t happen! It can make or break your next conversation – and it always saves time in the long run.    2.    Remember that every buyer is different. You will always need to adjust your value positioning and tactics to address their specific needs, organizational priorities and style. Think how your offering will: increase revenues, decrease costs, or mitigate some kind of risk for them.    3.    Learn poker playing tactics. These behaviors can slow down negotiations and are often just a bluff to get you to drop your price. When you know they’re playing poker, you can deploy a number of different tactics to level the playing field. 

Today’s topic: Context is Everything-Tactics Alone Don’t Cut It I’ve been in the negotiation game a long time, and one thing I’ve seen over and over again is people getting obsessed with tactics. Stuff like, “Say this, do that,” like it’s some magic formula. But here’s the truth: without understanding the context you’re in, all those tricks can make you look silly—or worse, like you don’t know what you’re doing. Let me give you a couple of real-life examples of how this can backfire. Example 1: The Silence Move Gone Wrong 🫨 You’ve been told to stay silent after making an offer, right? Supposed to create pressure, make the other person uncomfortable. But what happens if you’re negotiating with someone from a culture where pauses are totally normal (some Asian cultures. Americans love talking)? They’re not feeling awkward at all—they’re just sitting there, waiting. Meanwhile, you start feeling uncomfortable and second-guessing yourself. Now you’re the one looking unsure, and the tactic’s done nothing. Example 2: Anchoring High Can Sink You ⚓️ Here’s another one: “Always anchor high.” You throw out a big number first to set the tone. Sounds smart, yeah? But imagine you’re dealing with someone who has done their homework and knows the market inside out. They hear your highball offer, and instead of negotiating, they think, “This person’s either clueless or trying to hustle me.” Now they’re annoyed, and trust is out the window before the real conversation even starts. The thing is, tactics are just tools. Tools are only useful if you know when and how to use them. Negotiation is about people—it’s about reading the room, understanding what matters to the other side, and knowing the culture, the timing, the vibe. If you’re not paying attention to that, the tactics fall flat, no matter how clever they sound in a book. So yeah, before you get too caught up in the “do this, do that” stuff, ask yourself: Does this even make sense here? It’s about strategy first, and context always. Let me know how this lands for you! I know for fact Tony Shepherd is going to get animated for this. 😉 I’ll let him speak in his sexy Aussie midnight poetic voice. Mark Raffan, would love to see what you think. Simon Williams…come out of hibernation. #negotiationtribe…activate!