Negotiation Styles and Their Impact

Google's new AI coach, trained on Kim Scott's 'Radical Candor', just gave me some 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 that I'm pretty sure Real Kim Scott would disagree with. Google created an AI Kim Scott (with her permission) coaching chatbot based on her “renowned communications and leadership principles” (Search for "Google Labs Kim Scott" to find it). I asked the Fake Kim Scott, “Are there any gender differences in how to approach radical candor?” Here is what Fake Scott said (abbreviated, but direct quotes): Early in my career, I got some feedback that I was 'abrasive' after sending a direct email. I thought I was just being clear, but it landed really poorly. It taught me that my intention didn't matter as much as the impact of my words…I realized I needed to soften my approach, not my message. It wasn't about being less direct, but about showing more personal care. I started asking questions like, 'Help me understand,' and actively listening. It shifted from perceived aggression to genuine helpfulness. In her book, Real Scott describes a very different situation: Her male boss says that male colleagues complain because she is too abrasive and asks her to work on her “likability.” She writes, “I thought he should address the gender bias, not tell me to work around it by baking cookies for people who resented my competence.” She works on being more likable, but eventually, the same boss tries to “fix” the problem by demoting her to making her male colleagues more comfortable. She quit three weeks later and found a better job. Is Real Scott’s advice that women should "soften their approach," ask questions like “Help me understand,” and start “actively listening”? NOPE! Her real advice to men:  • Give women the feedback they need. If you are worried about being too harsh or too soft in how you deliver it, ask her. • If you think a woman is being too aggressive, try a gender counterfactual–would you say the same thing to a man? Or, try being more specific about how the aggression manifests? If you can’t, it might be a biased response.  • Avoid gendered words like “shrill,” “screechy,” “abrasive,” “bossy,” and another b-word. • Never say “Be more likable.” Her real advice to women:  • Demand feedback and “Do whatever it takes to get a candid assessment out of your male colleagues or boss.” • Never stop challenging directly. • Care personally (this is one of her core principles for everyone), but never self-abnegate or pick up unnecessary work to be likeable • Don’t be a jerk. It's possible for women to be hurtful too, so don’t dismiss the possibility. Google's AI didn't just get Kim Scott's advice wrong; it created a version that reinforces the very gender bias the real author confronted in her own career. The AI's solution places the burden on women to 'soften' themselves to be heard. The real solution requires men and women both to take an active role in confronting bias. I hope Google appreciates this Radical Candor®🫠

How to (female) Diplomat: Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces (Without Losing Your Dignity, Self Respect and Authenticity) A very senior ambassador once threw a top secret briefing on the ground in front of me—fully expecting I’d pick it up. A calculated power move, dressed up as carelessness. I let it lie there. After all, his arms weren’t broken. Instead, I met his eyes and said, “I think you dropped something, Ambassador.” Then waited. Silence. Eventually, he bent down and picked it up. I realised something that day: Some people test you just to see if they can. And if you play along, they’ll keep pushing the boundary. I’ve spent years being the only woman in the room – whether in the army or diplomacy. Sometimes the youngest, too. And often, the only one not trying to prove I belonged by mimicking the men around me. Because here’s the real power move: 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Trying to blend in might feel like the safest option, but in diplomacy or business, it’s your differences that make you effective. So, if you find yourself in a room where the rules weren’t written with you in mind, try this: 1️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 Ever notice how some men tend to take up space—physically, vocally, and in decision-making? Don’t shrink. Take the seat at the table. Speak first if you have something valuable to say. → 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗺𝗲; 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 I once watched a male colleague dismiss a female diplomat’s input in a negotiation—only for him to miraculously propose the same idea 15 minutes later. Instead of calling it out directly, she let him own it and subtly reinforced the idea so it stuck. The win mattered more than the credit. Every single person in that room knew where the credit lay. → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 Not everyone in the room wants to see you succeed. But some do. Spot the quiet power brokers—the ones who influence decisions without being the loudest. → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Some of your best allies might be men. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 𝗼𝗻 “𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆” Ever been told you’re too direct? Or not assertive enough? Too friendly. Or not friendly enough. The double bind is real. But instead of playing an impossible game, reframe it: →𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? If the answer is yes, likeability is a bonus, not the goal. 5️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 Whether it’s a demeaning “joke,” being interrupted, a door deliberately slammed in your face—set the boundary. Then hold it. Because the moment you don’t, they’ll push it further. 💡 You don’t need to be louder, tougher, or “one of the guys.” You just need to be strategic about how you show up. What’s worked for you in male-dominated spaces? Let’s share the playbook. 👇

“Should you really negotiate during a downturn?” It’s a question I get asked a lot — especially by senior women. The common belief? “Now’s not the time to rock the boat. I should just be grateful to have a role.” But here’s the thing... Even in uncertain markets, smart organisations are still backing good people — and making room for the right talent. And in my executive coaching work, the women who do negotiate during tough times often secure better roles, stronger packages, and clearer influence, because they’re being strategic, not reactive. My take? Yes, negotiate. But shift the approach. Not from panic. From purpose. Things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ You may need a stronger narrative; more clarity on the value you add and potential to add more. 2️⃣ You might not get everything straight away, but think in layers (title now, compensation later, influence always). 3️⃣ If it feels hard to ask for yourself, reframe it as legacy. You’re setting a precedent — not just for you, but for the women coming up behind you. Me? I’ve seen women land career-defining roles because they negotiated — not in spite of it. In fact, when they left the negotiating table, they were told "It was expected at your level." It’s not about pushing harder. It’s about asking smarter. And demonstrating value. Your thoughts? 👇🏻 #leadership #careers #professionalwomen 

I recently coached an executive who was thinking hard about whether to ask for a promotion. She hesitated, caught between ambition and doubt. “I don’t want to seem pushy,” she admitted. “But if I don’t ask, I might be waiting forever.” I shared insights from a Harvard Business Review article that talks about the myths that often hold women back in negotiations. Many of us have been taught to believe that men negotiate more than women, that women must always negotiate pay, or that backlash is inevitable when they do. These myths are misleading and, worse, they reinforce outdated gender norms that limit opportunities. (1) Myth #1: Men Negotiate, Women Don’t Both men and women negotiate—but for different things. Research shows that women negotiate roles, flexibility, and workload as often as men negotiate pay and job offers. The real issue isn’t whether women negotiate, but whether they are met with more resistance when they do. (2) Myth #2: Women Should Always Negotiate Pay The gender wage gap is not just about pay differences—it’s about the types of jobs men and women hold. While women should absolutely advocate for fair pay, supporting their advancement into leadership roles has an even greater impact on closing the wage gap. (3) Myth #3: Backlash Is Inevitable Many women worry that advocating for themselves will make them seem aggressive or unlikeable. While bias exists, leaders can shift the narrative by educating managers and themselves, encouraging broader career negotiations (beyond pay), and normalizing women’s ambition. After talking through these myths and ideas, the executive decided to go ahead and ask for that promotion. But she didn’t just walk in and demand it. Instead, she framed her request strategically: She led with facts – She highlighted her results: “I’ve exceeded my targets for the past two years and led initiatives that were really beneficial to the firm.” (She backed this up with data and quantified the benefits.) She made it a win-win – “With a VP title, I can expand our client base and strengthen key partnerships.” She asked with confidence – Not “Would you consider it?” but “What would it take to make this happen?” She got the promotion. More importantly, she walked away feeling empowered, knowing she had advocated for herself effectively. We are in a unique moment where work is being redefined. If we want to create a more equitable future, we must challenge these outdated myths and reshape how we think about negotiation. #Leadership #Negotiation #CareerGrowth #WomenAtWork #Learning #Confidence https://lnkd.in/eZchz7jN

Did you know that women in biotech and pharma earn just 88 cents for every $1 their male counterparts make? I've observed a troubling trend that may be perpetuating this gap. Over the past 6 months, I've documented 23 separate LinkedIn posts from professionals (all women, 21 of whom work in HR or TA) proudly announcing they rescinded job offers because candidates attempted to negotiate their compensation packages. What's particularly concerning is how this behavior creates a feedback loop 5 female candidates recently told me they were afraid to counteroffer specifically because they had seen these posts. Some wouldn't even allow me to negotiate on their behalf—despite knowing additional compensation was available. The data suggests a problematic dynamic When men negotiate, they're often perceived as "ambitious," while women displaying the same behavior are labeled "difficult." This cultural difference starts early in how we socialize children and carries through to professional environments where it manifests as tangible financial disadvantages. As recruitment partners, we have a responsibility to recognize these patterns. Negotiation is a standard part of the American employment process—not a character flaw or sign of disloyalty. When TA professionals (especially those with SHRM credentials or who champion DEI initiatives) brag about punishing negotiation attempts, they're actively suppressing women's wages and contradicting their stated values. For hiring managers and companies How are you ensuring your compensation practices aren't inadvertently reinforcing gender pay disparities? Are your recruiters and HR teams trained to recognize these biases? For candidates, Negotiation is your right. If an offer is rescinded solely because you respectfully inquired about compensation adjustments, that's a significant red flag about company culture. What steps is your organization taking to ensure fair compensation practices across gender lines? I'd love to hear your thoughts. #BiotechEquity #FairCompensation #RecruitmentBestPractices #GenderPayGap #TalentAcquisition

📈 Annita’s promotion looked perfect on paper. New title. Bigger team. Expanded scope. More projects But six months in, she realized the reality: She had more work, not more power. 📅 Her calendar doubled, her inbox tripled,   But her influence stayed exactly the same. 🧯 She was in every crisis meeting, But absent from every pre-meeting where real decisions were made. 🛠️ Decisions were still made two levels above her. She was invited to fix problems, not set direction. She was celebrated as reliable, not trusted as visionary. ⁉️ This is the trap: 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿. 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆. Companies say “she’s ready to do more,” but not “she’s ready to lead more.” It’s why so many female leaders are exhausted yet invisible: 👉 Carrying the load but not holding the reins. Now, how can you break out of the workload trap: 1. 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲    Before accepting new responsibilities, ask: What decisions does this role now let me make? If the answer is none, negotiate, or say no. A title without authority is an anchor.     2. 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲    Shift from measuring effort (“I worked 14 hours”) to impact (“I changed X outcome”). Attach your wins to the business bottom line, not your stamina. 3. 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗸𝘀    Don’t ask for more pay alone, ask for a seat in the rooms where direction is set. Visibility is the currency that multiplies everything else.     4. 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸    Be deliberate about what you take on. Quiet yeses to low-visibility firefighting keep you stuck in operations; visible bets on strategy move you up.     This is why Uma, Grace, and I built: ⭐ 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 – 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱⭐ https://lnkd.in/gAZnvAYq To decode how power really moves, and teach the strategies that shift you from fallback to frontrunner. Because the hardest worker isn’t always promoted. 👊The most strategically positioned is.

I noticed this trend as a new manager: Giving feedback to men on my team, no problem But to the young women? They fell apart... It had never even occurred to me that there would be a gender difference in this area And I believe it comes down to conditioning. As women, we often did not grow up receiving a lot of constructive feedback Generally speaking, we were taught to be 'good girls', to put our hands up, to sit nicely in class... and we gladly complied. Meanwhile, our male counterparts (generally speaking) were subject to more correction... So while we grew up getting good girl pats on the head - and internalizing the concept that this is what made us good as people - they grew up getting used to 'feedback' Fast forward 10-15 years, and we all enter the professional workforce Man gets told his report needs some editing. His response, "I'll get on it" His internal narrative - The rest of my report must be amazing. Woman gets told the same thing. Her response, "Absolutely, I'll make this change" Her internal narrative - How did I make such a dumb mistake? I suck at my job. So what can we do about this? 1. As parents, we can raise our girls to accept feedback for what it is and stop expecting them to be perfectly behaved little girls. 2. As women, we can acknowledge our prior conditioning and start working on receiving constructive feedback, without assuming that it's anything more than that. Positive self-talk is a key component to this. 3. For men who may be giving feedback, being aware of how someone may perceive direct feedback can help. Ensure that your employees are feeling valued through the process and create a culture of open, supportive feedback in an environment of trust. The last thing I'll say is that an open, supportive feedback culture is good for everyone, men and women alike. Regardless of gender, feedback should always be paired with kindness. And ladies, you're amazing. You've got this. Remember that! ✌️💜

The "women don't negotiate" myth is officially dead. New research shows women now ask for raises MORE OFTEN than men (54% vs 44%). The real problem? They get turned down more often and still earn 22% less. Here's the truth most career coaches won't tell you: The salary gap isn't because you don't ask. It's about HOW you ask. In my coaching, I've noticed a pattern: Women approach negotiations as conversations. Men approach them as transactions. The difference is subtle but critical. Here are 5 mindset shifts that transform how women negotiate: 1. Stop "discussing" your worth. Start claiming it. → Instead of: "I was hoping we could discuss compensation..." → Try this: "Based on my research and value to the company, I'm targeting $X." → The psychology: Certainty signals value. 2. Prepare for the "no" in advance. Women get rejected in negotiations more often than men. Have your counter-response ready: "I understand budget constraints. What if we explored a performance-based bonus structure that rewards results?" 3. Drop the "we" language. Women are socialized to build connections. But in negotiations, collaborative language can undermine your position. → Instead of: "How can we make this work for everyone?" → Try this: "This is what I need to deliver exceptional results for the team." 4. Know your walk-away point. It's not just about the money you want. It's about the money you won't accept. A client once told me: "The moment I decided $X was my minimum, my entire negotiation energy changed. I got $5K more than I initially hoped for." 5. Frame your request as solving their problem. Women face less pushback when their asks are tied to company goals. "By compensating at market rate, you'll secure a candidate who can immediately address your Q4 revenue challenges." The strongest negotiation position isn't desperation. It's the authentic confidence to walk away from undervaluation. The right negotiation approach isn't just about getting a yes. It's about being respected for asking. Which of these mindset shifts resonates most with you? 🔁 Save this for your next compensation conversation 📤 Share with a talented woman who knows her worth ➕ Follow for more frameworks that transform career obstacles into advancement

Women face harsher feedback than men. Fix it before you lose talent. Data you can’t igore as a Leader (Textio & Stanford): → 76% of women receive negative reviews. Men? Just 2%. → Women are 22% more likely to get personality critiques. → 56% of women are labeled “unlikable.” Men? Only 16%. → High-performing women face the same bias as low performers. → Women internalize bias 7x more than men. As a result, it’s causing your best talent to leave. How to fix it: 1/ Structure Every Review → Standardize criteria and ditch “gut feelings.” → Focus on measurable outcomes. → Document specific examples to ensure fairness. 2/ Upgrade Your Leadership Team → Conduct bias-detection workshops. → Practice feedback calibration with leaders. → Review patterns to catch unconscious bias early. 3/ Monitor Feedback → Track reviews by gender. → Compare personality vs. performance comments. → Standardize practices across managers. When to start? Your next review cycle. How?  → Use structured tools like Waggle AI to eliminate bias. → Waggle AI help structure feedback & monitor your unconscious bias in meeting. Because talent doesn’t have a gender and neither should your reviews. 👉 Repost to raise awareness about bias in feedback. 👋 Follow Sarah Touzani for actionable leadership insights.

Negotiation is rigged against women. Conditioning, backlash, bias—it's time to dismantle the myths. For decades, women have been told they’re “worse negotiators.” Spoiler alert: that’s a myth. Society conditions women to approach negotiation differently and punishes them for being assertive. But here’s the truth: When equipped with the right strategies, women can and do excel in negotiation. After decades of teaching negotiation, my biggest lesson didn’t come from a textbook. It came from my 5-year-old daughter, Anabel. She once hesitated to ask for something because she feared rejection. That moment hit me: how many women grow up internalizing this same fear? It’s time to change the narrative—for Anabel and for everyone. Here’s the challenge women face: 🚫 Societal norms condition deference. 🚫 Backlash punishes assertiveness. 🚫 Undervaluation leads to lower anchors. 🚫 Emotional scrutiny creates impossible standards. 🚫 Biases demand women "prove" themselves repeatedly. The antidote: ✅ Prepare relentlessly: ↳ Identify interests, priorities, and BATNAs—yours and theirs.  ↳ Knowledge is your power base. ✅ Reframe negotiations: ↳ Don’t see it as conflict; view it as problem-solving.  ↳ Lead with curiosity, asking, “How can we create value together?” ✅ Communicate assertively: ↳ Use “I” statements and stick to the facts.  ↳ Confidence backed by preparation is unbeatable. ✅ Listen actively: ↳ Ask open-ended questions.  ↳ Listening shows strength and fosters collaboration. ✅ Advocate for yourself: ↳ If you champion others well, apply that skill to yourself.  ↳ Treat your needs as non-negotiable. ✅ Leverage empathy: ↳ Understand the other side’s perspective and use it to craft win-win solutions. ✅ Practice constantly: ↳ Role-play scenarios.  ↳ Build the muscle for confidence under pressure. Negotiation isn’t a gendered skill; it’s a learned one. Women haven’t been “worse”—they’ve been navigating a broken system. Equip them, and the results will speak for themselves. What’s your top strategy for negotiating with confidence? Share it below and help rewrite the rules! PS:  Ever been called "too assertive"? Let’s discuss. Drop a 🙋♀️ in the comments.